Oh Gavle Goat, Your Toasty Hooves Delight Me.
I don't honour a lot of Christmas traditions. Most of them seem terribly forced, especially those imported to Australia from more northerly climes.
But I do have one tradition I am fond of.
The Gavlegoat and its near inevitable incineration.
Scandinavians will often celebrate Christmas by decorating their homes with wee straw goats, know as Julbocken. In the town of Gavle, Sweden, erects a colossal straw goat in the town square as part of this tradition.
What a majestic fucking creature.
It's a delight to the senses
Oh and look, this was this year's goat.
I in no way feel anything less than completely safe.
And then, given the right conditions, someone will set fire to it. This is this year's goat, a-burning, back on the 13th of December when it went up.
Noooo, it are my yuletide.
This happens a lot.
They've tried fireproofing, ice, military regiments, web surveillance, heavy police presence, the works. They still burn. This year's had been hosed down moments after it was erected, and it would in all likelihood been a big block of ice by the time the arsonists got to it. But they still got to it, and burn it did.
In 2005, it was torched by a couple of scamps dressed as Santa and a gingerbread man. And in 2001 a chap from Ohio burned it down, claiming in court that he believed that he was taking part in a totally legal goat burning holiday tradition.
There's evidence to suggest the guys who torched it this year commemorated the event with matching tattoos:
Sure, whack that photo on the toobs, no way that's coming back to haunt us
In all, only 41% of the Gavle Goats make it to the New Year.
I can't say completely why it so pleases me. Part of it is distinctly pagan, the sacrifice of a large animal, in effigy, to salute the returning sun. Another part suggests it's a finely balanced pageant, the forces of chaos vs. the forces of order rallying around a central figure to do battle.
But mostly it's a very large thing on fire. Lots of fire.
But I do have one tradition I am fond of.
The Gavlegoat and its near inevitable incineration.
Scandinavians will often celebrate Christmas by decorating their homes with wee straw goats, know as Julbocken. In the town of Gavle, Sweden, erects a colossal straw goat in the town square as part of this tradition.
What a majestic fucking creature.
It's a delight to the senses
Oh and look, this was this year's goat.
I in no way feel anything less than completely safe.
And then, given the right conditions, someone will set fire to it. This is this year's goat, a-burning, back on the 13th of December when it went up.
Noooo, it are my yuletide.
This happens a lot.
They've tried fireproofing, ice, military regiments, web surveillance, heavy police presence, the works. They still burn. This year's had been hosed down moments after it was erected, and it would in all likelihood been a big block of ice by the time the arsonists got to it. But they still got to it, and burn it did.
In 2005, it was torched by a couple of scamps dressed as Santa and a gingerbread man. And in 2001 a chap from Ohio burned it down, claiming in court that he believed that he was taking part in a totally legal goat burning holiday tradition.
There's evidence to suggest the guys who torched it this year commemorated the event with matching tattoos:
Sure, whack that photo on the toobs, no way that's coming back to haunt us
In all, only 41% of the Gavle Goats make it to the New Year.
I can't say completely why it so pleases me. Part of it is distinctly pagan, the sacrifice of a large animal, in effigy, to salute the returning sun. Another part suggests it's a finely balanced pageant, the forces of chaos vs. the forces of order rallying around a central figure to do battle.
But mostly it's a very large thing on fire. Lots of fire.