Smitten 5/?
Title: Smitten 5/?
Author: jiji_bean
Characters: Eleven/Rose, Amy/Rory...Rose/Rory?
Rating: PG
Time Line: Series 5 - between Flesh and Stone and Vampires of Venice
Summary: Nostalgia takes the Doctor to a time he never thought he'd visit...not after the end of his Tenth life. Amy and Rory meet someone from the Doctor's past...but it isn't the Doctor this young blond has her eyes on.
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who - I just like to play with it sometimes.
A/N: Updated each Sunday/Monday. This is a short introspective chapter. Thanks for reading :)
Want to read it from the beginning? Start here.
***
The silence was hurting his ears. He could hear the crackling of the fire and the low hum of the Tardis. She was trying to comfort despite being irritated with him earlier. The Doctor stroked the wall behind him - the motion keeping him calm.
He hadn’t meant to snap at Amy. He’d gotten used to the freedom (well, the one he pretended to have, he realized that now) from being upset and in pain. All of that had happened to his Ninth and Tenth regenerations. Although he missed aspects of his past selves (a smiling blond from the estate and black leather jacket came to mind), he’d been relieved that at least in becoming this version of himself, he’d gotten rid of the pain and angst that had driven him before. But here it was, back again. That familiar dull ache was no longer a reduction of something greater - it was in full force, crushing his insides.
Firelight played against his skin, and the shadows of the library flickered. Amy had hit a sore spot. He wanted to think that it was too soon for any kind of digging into his past - but he knew that it seriously did not matter when…Rose…would be brought up - anytime would be too soon. His mind flashed to earlier with the young blond-haired girl who had become his everything simply ignored him. The Doctor knew it was inane to think that he’d be anything to her at that point since she hadn’t met him yet - but to completely ignore him?
It wasn’t that he didn’t understand. It was that he understood all too well.
As much as Rory remained in the background, quiet and humble - the Doctor knew there was something more. There was always something more when it came to the ordinary. He wanted to remind Amy of that. She’d become immersed in this life of his much too quickly. Even the glimpse that she received as a little girl had altered her human existence. The Doctor had wanted to remember that there was more out there than aliens and history - because after all, someone had to make those facts, produce the memories and ideas that kept him traveling through time and space. Time was lost in the Tardis - an irony that he didn’t allow himself to think about - and he didn’t want it to be lost to Amy. He wanted this especially when she had someone like Rory waiting for her. Someone who had been trying to live up to an impossible myth since he was a young boy. Rory didn’t deserve to be made second choice.
The Tardis rumbled slightly under his touch - a reminder the Doctor didn’t need.
Mickey hadn’t deserved second choice either - but as much as he felt he should own up to the fact that he hadn’t done this for him back then, the Doctor couldn’t and wouldn’t say or even think that he regretted it. He’d been selfish in keeping Rose to himself, but he didn’t care. He’d do it again.
Amy needed to be reminded that there was beauty in the everyday, a hope eternal. It was something that he needed to be reminded of when he’d met one Rose Tyler. Even after everything she had seen, she still saw beauty in the simplest and most “normal” of things.
Smiles, steaming hot chips, the color pink, hugs and handholding. Rose had reminded him of just how extraordinary the ordinary could be.
That’s why she had noticed Rory. A pang of hurt edged through his nerves.
He knew that he would give a quick apology to Amy. Whether or not he would give her the answers she wanted - that remained unknown. The Doctor figured that he should probably talk about it to someone, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
How could he begin to explain who Rose was and would always be to him? In describing her to another, she’d seem like a myth - the legend they both were meant to be together. Anyone listening to him would think that he was hopeless, remembering only the good things about a human girl. Rose wasn’t perfect, but neither was he or anyone for that matter. She’d reminded him of what good someone could do. She cared about him, had crossed dimensions for him - she loved him.
And how could he begin to say where she was and who with? How would he say that even though she had jumped those dimensions for him, probably almost dying for him, he’d left her behind? He wouldn’t even know how to explain his human double to them. He was something that couldn’t be explained easily - one would have to talk to him and with time come to understand. The Doctor knew that by then Rose would have known. Of course she would. It wouldn’t have taken long to understand how much of him had gone into his double. All the love and devotion that had lingered for so long under his skin for her, the desire and want he’d had in his hearts for her had seeped through to him. It didn’t mean that he no longer felt it - quite the opposite in fact. It simply meant that he had more than enough to give.
The Doctor brought his hand back from smoothing over the wall. With an arm on the armrest and the other laid across his stomach, he stared into the flames of the fireplace, the flickers dancing across his skin.
***
Six
Author: jiji_bean
Characters: Eleven/Rose, Amy/Rory...Rose/Rory?
Rating: PG
Time Line: Series 5 - between Flesh and Stone and Vampires of Venice
Summary: Nostalgia takes the Doctor to a time he never thought he'd visit...not after the end of his Tenth life. Amy and Rory meet someone from the Doctor's past...but it isn't the Doctor this young blond has her eyes on.
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who - I just like to play with it sometimes.
A/N: Updated each Sunday/Monday. This is a short introspective chapter. Thanks for reading :)
Want to read it from the beginning? Start here.
***
The silence was hurting his ears. He could hear the crackling of the fire and the low hum of the Tardis. She was trying to comfort despite being irritated with him earlier. The Doctor stroked the wall behind him - the motion keeping him calm.
He hadn’t meant to snap at Amy. He’d gotten used to the freedom (well, the one he pretended to have, he realized that now) from being upset and in pain. All of that had happened to his Ninth and Tenth regenerations. Although he missed aspects of his past selves (a smiling blond from the estate and black leather jacket came to mind), he’d been relieved that at least in becoming this version of himself, he’d gotten rid of the pain and angst that had driven him before. But here it was, back again. That familiar dull ache was no longer a reduction of something greater - it was in full force, crushing his insides.
Firelight played against his skin, and the shadows of the library flickered. Amy had hit a sore spot. He wanted to think that it was too soon for any kind of digging into his past - but he knew that it seriously did not matter when…Rose…would be brought up - anytime would be too soon. His mind flashed to earlier with the young blond-haired girl who had become his everything simply ignored him. The Doctor knew it was inane to think that he’d be anything to her at that point since she hadn’t met him yet - but to completely ignore him?
It wasn’t that he didn’t understand. It was that he understood all too well.
As much as Rory remained in the background, quiet and humble - the Doctor knew there was something more. There was always something more when it came to the ordinary. He wanted to remind Amy of that. She’d become immersed in this life of his much too quickly. Even the glimpse that she received as a little girl had altered her human existence. The Doctor had wanted to remember that there was more out there than aliens and history - because after all, someone had to make those facts, produce the memories and ideas that kept him traveling through time and space. Time was lost in the Tardis - an irony that he didn’t allow himself to think about - and he didn’t want it to be lost to Amy. He wanted this especially when she had someone like Rory waiting for her. Someone who had been trying to live up to an impossible myth since he was a young boy. Rory didn’t deserve to be made second choice.
The Tardis rumbled slightly under his touch - a reminder the Doctor didn’t need.
Mickey hadn’t deserved second choice either - but as much as he felt he should own up to the fact that he hadn’t done this for him back then, the Doctor couldn’t and wouldn’t say or even think that he regretted it. He’d been selfish in keeping Rose to himself, but he didn’t care. He’d do it again.
Amy needed to be reminded that there was beauty in the everyday, a hope eternal. It was something that he needed to be reminded of when he’d met one Rose Tyler. Even after everything she had seen, she still saw beauty in the simplest and most “normal” of things.
Smiles, steaming hot chips, the color pink, hugs and handholding. Rose had reminded him of just how extraordinary the ordinary could be.
That’s why she had noticed Rory. A pang of hurt edged through his nerves.
He knew that he would give a quick apology to Amy. Whether or not he would give her the answers she wanted - that remained unknown. The Doctor figured that he should probably talk about it to someone, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
How could he begin to explain who Rose was and would always be to him? In describing her to another, she’d seem like a myth - the legend they both were meant to be together. Anyone listening to him would think that he was hopeless, remembering only the good things about a human girl. Rose wasn’t perfect, but neither was he or anyone for that matter. She’d reminded him of what good someone could do. She cared about him, had crossed dimensions for him - she loved him.
And how could he begin to say where she was and who with? How would he say that even though she had jumped those dimensions for him, probably almost dying for him, he’d left her behind? He wouldn’t even know how to explain his human double to them. He was something that couldn’t be explained easily - one would have to talk to him and with time come to understand. The Doctor knew that by then Rose would have known. Of course she would. It wouldn’t have taken long to understand how much of him had gone into his double. All the love and devotion that had lingered for so long under his skin for her, the desire and want he’d had in his hearts for her had seeped through to him. It didn’t mean that he no longer felt it - quite the opposite in fact. It simply meant that he had more than enough to give.
The Doctor brought his hand back from smoothing over the wall. With an arm on the armrest and the other laid across his stomach, he stared into the flames of the fireplace, the flickers dancing across his skin.
***
Six