With You
Frowning at her reflection, she stepped back and looked at herself straight on, then from the side and finally, she faced away from the mirror and looked back. She didn’t know what she was looking for…maybe a change of some kind?
“Nothing’s changed,” said a voice from the darkened doorway.
Rose jumped, startled and embarrassed. The Doctor had just caught her looking at her bum in the mirror.
She faced him, but looked down at her feet and remained quiet.
The Doctor couldn’t understand humans and their obsession with getting older. Maybe it was because he couldn’t. Not really.
“You’re still you,” still beautiful, he added silently.
She looked up at him, a small smile playing on her lips. Leaning back against the sink, she continued staring at him. He could feel the tug of her thoughts in his mind.
“What are you so afraid of Rose?” he asked honestly. The Doctor knew that they were already too close and any new revelation, the right revelation, would have them crashing toward each other like waves meeting the shore. You’d think he was asking for it, waiting for the push.
Maybe he was.
Rose looked down again, forming patterns in the bathroom tile. How could she make him understand what he already knew? When it was present every day, every moment they existed together, anywhere and when?
So, Rose picked the words that fit her love for the Doctor best, “I’m afraid of not being with you.”
The emotions that passed through the Time Lord’s eyes were fleeting but haunting. They showed her his fear, heartache, care and love. Rose stood dumbstruck at the sudden change, seeing and recognizing so much in those chocolate eyes that were so different and yet so similar to their ocean blue counterpart.
The Doctor could feel the tug-of-war in his chest. His faithful companion stood before him fearing her own aging and death, not because of her own fears, but because of his unspoken ones. And he could keep playing this game, where he played the part of the lonely, cursed Time Lord who kept everyone at an arm’s length. He selfishly kept his hearts and feelings to himself as they wasted away. And all it did was deprive him of the one person he did want to let in. This magnificent pink and yellow human whose life he turned upside down as soon as he grabbed her hand in his and told her to run. This woman who had given up her life for him and who had saved him time and time again. The only person to have promised him forever. It may be impossible, but if Rose had proven to be anything in his life, it was the fact that she was impossible. And yet, here she was, in front of him staring at him with a look of confusion on her face, unknowingly waiting for him to make a decision.
If anyone deserved to have everything she ever wanted and needed, it would be her.
So, why was he so adamant in not giving her just that?
The Doctor knew that giving himself to her would make them eternal, and complete. It was a promise that couldn’t be broken. He wanted it for him as much as he did for her.
So why didn’t he?
The thoughts passed through his mind over and over, and lasted only a few seconds. He took a long stride, a matter of two steps, toward her. It was the longest and shortest distance he had ever traveled.
Rose’s eyes bulged. He moved near her so quickly. She had dreamed of this so many times that it was surreal when it actually happened.
The Doctor stood in front of her, only a breath away. They looked into each other’s eyes, the Doctor breathing heavily and Rose staring up at him with wide, incredulous eyes. She felt his resolve break as he dipped his head swiftly down to her and covered her lips with his. The moment was electrifying, sending tingles down Rose’s spine and making the Doctor tremble. It was like dreaming with eyes open, feeling the earth move while everything else stood still. The kiss was chaste and gentle and the Doctor almost felt his hearts break at the tenderness of feeling her beneath him, of feeling the touch of her skin on his. The Doctor moved back slightly, ending their connection momentarily to look at Rose. Her eyes were drowning with love and utter faith in him. Rose smiled a shyly, making the Doctor grin brilliantly in return.
This time, Rose placed her hands on his chest over each of his hearts, looked deep into his eyes and whispered, “My Doctor” as she reached up to meet her lips with his once more. The kiss was equally full of tenderness, fear and love. The intensity rang in the air around them as years of want met between the pressure and need of their lips. Rose held on tight to his chest as his hearts beat rapidly beneath her fingertips. The Doctor grasped her tightly against him, her scent inundating him, making him drunk, and together, they thought what they could never fight, that it had always been like this even when it wasn’t, that it should always be this and nothing less.
***
Later on as they cuddled in front of the large projection screen in the Tardis’s theater room, the movie Sixteen Candles playing, as it was Rose’s favorite. The Doctor allowed himself to kiss his Rose’s lips once more. The familiarity and exhilaration of being able to do so was melting within him. He could feel her smile beneath his lips and it made his hearts soar.
Rose moved back to cuddle into his side, one of her hands settled comfortably on his stomach, the other curled underneath him, circling his waist. She had always wanted this, and it surprised her to realize that the reality of it was so much more than she ever thought it could be.
The pair sat content in front of the movie screen as the Doctor reached down to whisper in Rose’s ear the words he had meant to say earlier in the day, before the distractions.
“Happy Birthday, Rose Tyler.”
“Nothing’s changed,” said a voice from the darkened doorway.
Rose jumped, startled and embarrassed. The Doctor had just caught her looking at her bum in the mirror.
She faced him, but looked down at her feet and remained quiet.
The Doctor couldn’t understand humans and their obsession with getting older. Maybe it was because he couldn’t. Not really.
“You’re still you,” still beautiful, he added silently.
She looked up at him, a small smile playing on her lips. Leaning back against the sink, she continued staring at him. He could feel the tug of her thoughts in his mind.
“What are you so afraid of Rose?” he asked honestly. The Doctor knew that they were already too close and any new revelation, the right revelation, would have them crashing toward each other like waves meeting the shore. You’d think he was asking for it, waiting for the push.
Maybe he was.
Rose looked down again, forming patterns in the bathroom tile. How could she make him understand what he already knew? When it was present every day, every moment they existed together, anywhere and when?
So, Rose picked the words that fit her love for the Doctor best, “I’m afraid of not being with you.”
The emotions that passed through the Time Lord’s eyes were fleeting but haunting. They showed her his fear, heartache, care and love. Rose stood dumbstruck at the sudden change, seeing and recognizing so much in those chocolate eyes that were so different and yet so similar to their ocean blue counterpart.
The Doctor could feel the tug-of-war in his chest. His faithful companion stood before him fearing her own aging and death, not because of her own fears, but because of his unspoken ones. And he could keep playing this game, where he played the part of the lonely, cursed Time Lord who kept everyone at an arm’s length. He selfishly kept his hearts and feelings to himself as they wasted away. And all it did was deprive him of the one person he did want to let in. This magnificent pink and yellow human whose life he turned upside down as soon as he grabbed her hand in his and told her to run. This woman who had given up her life for him and who had saved him time and time again. The only person to have promised him forever. It may be impossible, but if Rose had proven to be anything in his life, it was the fact that she was impossible. And yet, here she was, in front of him staring at him with a look of confusion on her face, unknowingly waiting for him to make a decision.
If anyone deserved to have everything she ever wanted and needed, it would be her.
So, why was he so adamant in not giving her just that?
The Doctor knew that giving himself to her would make them eternal, and complete. It was a promise that couldn’t be broken. He wanted it for him as much as he did for her.
So why didn’t he?
The thoughts passed through his mind over and over, and lasted only a few seconds. He took a long stride, a matter of two steps, toward her. It was the longest and shortest distance he had ever traveled.
Rose’s eyes bulged. He moved near her so quickly. She had dreamed of this so many times that it was surreal when it actually happened.
The Doctor stood in front of her, only a breath away. They looked into each other’s eyes, the Doctor breathing heavily and Rose staring up at him with wide, incredulous eyes. She felt his resolve break as he dipped his head swiftly down to her and covered her lips with his. The moment was electrifying, sending tingles down Rose’s spine and making the Doctor tremble. It was like dreaming with eyes open, feeling the earth move while everything else stood still. The kiss was chaste and gentle and the Doctor almost felt his hearts break at the tenderness of feeling her beneath him, of feeling the touch of her skin on his. The Doctor moved back slightly, ending their connection momentarily to look at Rose. Her eyes were drowning with love and utter faith in him. Rose smiled a shyly, making the Doctor grin brilliantly in return.
This time, Rose placed her hands on his chest over each of his hearts, looked deep into his eyes and whispered, “My Doctor” as she reached up to meet her lips with his once more. The kiss was equally full of tenderness, fear and love. The intensity rang in the air around them as years of want met between the pressure and need of their lips. Rose held on tight to his chest as his hearts beat rapidly beneath her fingertips. The Doctor grasped her tightly against him, her scent inundating him, making him drunk, and together, they thought what they could never fight, that it had always been like this even when it wasn’t, that it should always be this and nothing less.
***
Later on as they cuddled in front of the large projection screen in the Tardis’s theater room, the movie Sixteen Candles playing, as it was Rose’s favorite. The Doctor allowed himself to kiss his Rose’s lips once more. The familiarity and exhilaration of being able to do so was melting within him. He could feel her smile beneath his lips and it made his hearts soar.
Rose moved back to cuddle into his side, one of her hands settled comfortably on his stomach, the other curled underneath him, circling his waist. She had always wanted this, and it surprised her to realize that the reality of it was so much more than she ever thought it could be.
The pair sat content in front of the movie screen as the Doctor reached down to whisper in Rose’s ear the words he had meant to say earlier in the day, before the distractions.
“Happy Birthday, Rose Tyler.”