Better 8/?
Title: Better 8/?
Pairing: Human Doctor/Rose, mentioning of Nine/Rose, Ten/Rose
Rating: Teen (this rating will increase later)
Timeline: After Journey's End
Summary: The Doctor is traveling on new territory - a human body with a very human single heart, no Tardis, and no time & space. But there's Rose - and all the emotions that resurface with her return. All he wants to do is be with her - but it's not going to be that easy.
A/N: No, your eyes do not deceive you - this is a new chapter. heh. Hope you like!
Want to read it from the beginning? Start here
***
Rose expected some barely audible exasperated sighs coming from the Doctor as they weaved through the crowd at the shopping center. She was pleasantly surprised, however, to find that he seemed to be enjoying himself. Their first stop was at a posh clothing store as she was sure he would need at least a few suits if he was going to be hanging around the Tyler clan - and she hoped that he would want to do that.
His eyes widened at the sea of suits in many shades of blues, grays, and browns among them. A petite sales girl dressed in a black pencil skirt and a tucked white button down strolled gracefully up to the pair.
“May I help you find something?” her voice was all business. This woman obviously took suits very seriously, concluded Rose with a smile. Just what she wanted.
“Yea’ actually, we’d like to get him fitted for a few suits,” she glanced at the Doctor who was smiling at her shyly.
“Of course, please follow me and we’ll get you measured,” she turned around sharply and the Doctor and Rose found themselves hurried to catch up.
He climbed up on a small platform while a much older man who spoke broken English began to take his measurements.
“My name is Natalie. How about I bring some suits for your husband to try on after he gets his measurements done? We’ll be able to send you his suits after they’ve been tailored,” she was such a flurry of words that it took a moment for Rose to realize what she had assumed.
She stood still for a moment, her mouth agape. The Doctor’s stare seemed to burn a hole through her back. Chuckling awkwardly, she responded with a flustered smile and nod of the head, “Uh, yes, of course….of course.”
Natalie smiled, mumbled something to the tailor and then strolled out of the room in search of some suits, Rose figured. She hadn’t even mentioned what color of suits - oh well, she knows what she’s doing.
Rose looked at the tailor as she sat in the white couch in the corner of the large measurements room. She very carefully averted the look she could feel the Doctor giving her. Even in her fake obliviousness, she couldn’t help but realize how much she enjoyed the word “husband” in regards to the Doctor.
It had been quite awhile since she first traveled with him and in those years she had tried relentlessly to find herself back with him. And in that time, she had seen the people around her move on. Grow up.
Oh, Rose had grown up. She’d grown a bit harder, stronger. All of that had been poured into her work at Torchwood. Her life had become a stretched band of time shared between her family, catching and working with aliens, and her own work with the dimension cannon.
It was in the last year where she had finally wanted something for herself. Rose had seen her mother flourish with Pete and Tony. She watched to people she worked with, whom she had gotten to know all those years, date, marry and begin to start families of their own. Even some of the field agents had significant others despite their dangerous work. All of it had made her want something of her own - but instead of looking for a new relationship, she had thrown herself into continuing her education.
“Rose?” The Doctor’s voice brought her out of her thoughts.
She sat up, “Yea’?” Looking toward him, she realized she had missed Natalie coming back with the suits, as the Doctor already had one on.
It was a black suit with very thin grey pinstripes. He wore a dark gray collared shirt underneath. Rose felt something pool at the bottom of her stomach - it heated her skin. She grew instantly embarrassed as she felt the heat rise to her cheeks.
The Doctor smiled, rather smugly she thought. “So, what do you think?” He turned around for effect.
Rose couldn’t help but look at him when he did that, “Oh, uh, yes…that…that works.” Natalie appeared suddenly with a glass of water and a warm smile. Rose took the glass and gave her a thankful grin. The water was cold against the heat of her mouth - she needed to get a hold of herself.
With a last look, the Doctor turned to the fitting room to change. Natalie sidled up next to Rose, “Would you like to order that one in his measurements?”
“Definitely,” she laughed bringing the glass up to her lips for another drink and noticed that the young sales girl was knowingly laughing too.
***
He couldn’t help but beam at the way Rose had looked at him. They had left the store, ordering three suits, the black, a blue and a gray, with an assortment of undershirts, collared shirts, socks, ties, handkerchiefs and even a couple of pairs of shiny shoes. It really was a lot of items…and Rose said they weren’t done yet.
I guess I can’t get away with wearing the same suit everyday, he thought.
Still, he all of a sudden didn’t like the idea of Rose’s hard earned money being spent on him.
The feelings must have shown on his face, as Rose then said, “Doctor, you all right?”
“Oh, yes of course. Just…you don’t need to spend all this money on me Rose. I don’t even know when I will be able to pay you back.”
Lost in a sea of people, Rose grabbed his hand and pulled him off to the side to sit on a just-vacated bench.
“Doctor, it doesn’t matter,” she held onto his hand and held her face close to his as the chatter of people around them made it hard to hear, “you gave me a time and space - I think I can buy you some necessities.” She giggled. The warmth of her hand radiated to his skin.
“But…” he started.
“No,” her eyes held that determination he had always admired in her, “you will not pay me back and I will buy you what I want. Now, come on, you need some everyday clothes and pajamas as well.”
She stood up, pulling him with her and led the way to the next shop. The Doctor sped up his steps and joined her stride with a smile.
They were walking steadily across the center among the other shoppers. The Doctor would have lost Rose in the crowd if she was not currently holding onto his hand. He gripped hers tightly, partly because he didn’t want to get lost, but mostly because he needed to feel grounded. He needed to feel her there beneath his touch.
The Doctor was so busy with his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed Rose had stopped, causing him to collide with her. He only barely managed to grab her shoulders so as not to shove her forward harshly. It took him a moment to realize that they weren’t the only ones standing while throngs of people bustled around them. He looked up to see a man of his height staring down at Rose. There was something in the way he looked at her that made the Doctor’s blood boil in his veins.
The man was dressed in a simple black t-shirt and jumper, dark blue jeans and gray trainers. His hair was a golden brown and was perfectly tousled.
“Rose? Is that you?” asked Mr. Pretty Boy.
The Doctor glanced at Rose just in time to see the recognition spark in her eyes. Her look of bewilderment transformed into one of warmth. It didn’t help the feelings coursing through his body. He gripped her hand tighter.
Rose gave him a sharp look and tried to wiggle her fingers. He mumbled an apology and loosened his grasp - but still didn’t let go, however. Rose then moved them aside from the foot traffic and Golden Boy followed - his stare trailing after Rose.
Once they were in the square, which had benches and a fountain, Rose turned to look at the man that had cause the Doctor to suddenly hate shopping centers. “Brett, I can’t believe it’s you. How have you been?” And with a pull and a look, the Doctor let go of her hand and she moved forward to give Brett (the Doctor decided it was a terrible name) a quick hug.
The Doctor stood rocking on his heels and staring at anything else.
“Oh, well, I went back to the states after the summer session to visit my family.”
He continued to stare at Rose as if she was the only person in the room. The Doctor knew the look well - as he’d seen it on almost every man’s face that had encountered Rose. It had been permanently planted on his own for quite awhile. He coughed suddenly, if only to interrupt Brett’s intense look at Rose.
She turned back and smirked at the Doctor, probably knowing full well what was going through his mind. “Brett, I’d like you to meet…”
Rose looked at him suddenly. Right, they hadn’t decided on a name for him yet. He coughed to buy some time and thought quickly - though, it wasn’t quickly enough.
“John.” Rose smiled apologetically at him and then held his hand in hers.
He grinned at her, all of a sudden feeling much better.
“Oh,” Brett said in a hushed tone.
The Doctor’s grin widened. The young man extended his hand and said, “Hi John, I’m Brett. I’ve taken a few classes with Rose at the university.”
He extended his hand and gripped it in a tight handshake. When he let go, however, he let his words sink in.
Rose and Brett had shared an acquaintance - a friendship? Relationship?
Had Rose had other relationships?
A myriad of questions circled his mind. He was idly aware that Rose and Brett were saying goodbye and Rose had begun to lead them into another store. The Doctor was aware that she was asking him something, but the Doctor just let go of her hand and exited the store to sit down on another bench. Rose was instantly there staring at him as if he was about to regenerate. He wanted to reassure her that he was fine; however, he didn’t feel fine. His mind was thinking in all directions. Rose had gone looking for him - so he assumed there was no one else in her life. He knew this to be true as she had planned to stay with him in the Tardis.
But what about before?
They had been separated for years; it was naïve to think she’d been waiting for him all that time. She must have found someone to be with. He’d had other companions. The thought made his heart pang.
Of course there had been others. He was such a fool. She was gorgeous and brilliant and fantastic and he had no claim over her. His insides boiled, his heart thumped madly at the thought of anyone else who had touched her that wasn’t him.
“Doctor!” Rose shouted. He looked at her - there was fear in her eyes and she was shaking slightly. Wisps of her hair trembled with the movement.
The Doctor looked down at their hands and saw that she gripped him so tightly that her knuckles were a pale red.
“Rose, I’m okay,” his voice was hoarse which contradicted his words.
He never wanted to be without her…he’d have to let go of whatever this feeling was doing to him.
“Doctor, what’s wrong? It was like you couldn’t even hear me! I’m sorry I called you John - it was the only other name I’ve heard you use. Brett…”
At the mention of his name, the Doctor flinched and looked away.
“Oh,” Rose whispered, “that’s what this is about. Doctor, did you think that Brett and I…” her voice trailed and the Doctor looked at her. Her cheeks blushed and she was looking down at their hands. He forced himself to smile.
“It’s okay Rose…you don’t have to hide it for my sake.” Is this what it feels like to be heart broken, he thought. Or is it just jealousy? He’d felt the latter many times while traveling with her - but the feelings were more concentrated and real now that he was human.
Rose laughed gently and trailed circles onto his palm with her cold fingertips. “Doctor, I wasn’t…hiding…anything. Nothing’s happened between Brett and me. I was just…I’m not used to talking about…that with you. There wasn’t time to before. Then again, there weren’t any blokes then either.” She didn’t look at him and just continued trailing figures against his skin.
A blossom of relief prickled in him - and then the confusion set in as it often did, “But…the way he looked at you…”
Rose sighed, “I said I was never with him. I didn’t say he didn’t try.”
His grip on her tightened and she laughed, “Good to know that hasn’t changed.”
“What do you mean?”
At that, Rose threw her head back with a hearty laugh, “You’re jokin’ right? You’re jealous!”
The Doctor feigned surprise, “What are you talking about?”
Rose smacked his shoulder, “Alright, three words: Captain Jack Harkness.”
And as much as he loved the man, the name in reference to Rose made him groan in exasperation. “Now Rose, that doesn’t count, Jack would flirt with the trees if he could. Actually, wait, he did flirt with them, remember?”
She rolled her eyes and smacked him again, lightly, “Yeah, he flirts with everyone - but especially with me.” Her smirk made him want to laugh - but the words kept him quiet for a moment.
He knew she was pushing his buttons, but neither could deny that the captain always had a soft spot for Rose. It seemed that everyone did.
The Doctor sighed, obviously defeated, “You’re right.”
Rose grinned cheekily and looked at the people around them. The Doctor continued staring at her and found that he really had to know.
“Rose,” he held her hands in his, stilling her movements and making her look at him, confusion marked on her face, “Tell me the truth, who…have…” He wanted to ask her who else had been in her life, but any way that he thought of phrasing it sounded as if she had no right to be with anyone but him - but she did. Rose had every right to be with whomever she wanted to be with. No matter how much the thought of it made him want to tear out his hair.
Her warm eyes searched his. They showed so much, but they gave as much as they hid. He could see the pain in them, but there was something else there. It reached out to him like roots into the soil.
“Doctor,” she moistened his lips and the motion caused hi to stare at them. He wanted to kiss her suddenly. Wanted to claim her with his lips and his touch. He didn’t care who came before him (well, he’d try not to), but he was going to try and be the only. “you don’t have to…I mean…,” she laughed without humor, “this…is so weird. I’m not used to talking about this with you.”
Her eyes welled up with unshed tears and he trailed his hand up her arm. She was wearing a jumper, but just touching her so made his heart beat with the strength of two.
“Rose, really, never mind, it doesn’t matter anymore. Your life is yours to do as you wish. I know I’ve thrown it into a tailspin, but I hope that…” he didn’t get to finish his thought as Rose suddenly clamped her hand over his mouth. It wasn’t the first time she’d had to do that - he had quite a gob.
“No Doctor, that’s not…,” she let out an exasperated sigh, “there…there hasn’t been anyone.”
The Doctor stared at her, his mouth open under her palm. She removed her hand and looked down at the short space between them. The movement and sound around them melted away.
“In four years…” no one? he finished silently, still not believing.
“Well, four years for you…a bit longer for me. And yes, no one.”
They stared at each other for a moment. A tear escaped and rolled down her cheek. He caught it and wiped it away with his thumb.
“But - I don’t understand. Obviously there have been…opportunities. And you’re beautiful.”
Rose’s cheeks reddened, but he was too in shock to take pleasure in the response.
“There just wasn’t…I didn’t want to. Since I’ve been here, well, a few months after, all I’ve done is work to try and get back to you. The most social I’ve been is work parties at Torchwood for the holidays and the university last year.”
At her words, the Doctor felt an inexplicable sadness overwhelm him. In his short existence, he’d felt something akin to loneliness - he did not, for a moment, want Rose to ever feel like that. She may hide it from him, play it off, but she had been lonely, and it was his fault.
He had tried to get back to her, but the universe didn’t wait for anyone - especially him. Instead, he had become accustomed to life without her the best he could, the hum of her memory always there.
“Rose, I…,” but she interrupted him.
“Now, let’s get the rest of what you need. We’ll be hungry soon enough,” and with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, she tugged him up and to the store.
***
Nine