carmel. now until sept 14th.
i moved back to my parents house today. i haven't lived here since sophomore year. weird.
not really looking forward to this party that is definatley NOT mine which is why i'm so glad i had mine back in june, even if my parents tried to fuckin cancel it and the kerrigans let me have it there. just my parents attitude about the whole thing blows my mind really. and i hate how its so easy for me to say shit to my mom about it all when i really want to be saying it to my dad. like, "no, obviously this is your party since i had no say in the entire thing" but i didn't. and there's more, but its not worth my time or energy. we'll see tho. maybe tomorrow once i've started drinking i'll start making sly comments as if i'm jokin but he knows i'm serious. i'm planning on getting drunk nice and steady since apparently my grandfather is going to be here? but we'll see how that goes. i'm probably not even gonna spend the night here since i have the option not to. it depends.
but from the way things were when i walked into the house tonight, i'm just not in the mood to deal with the bullshit. it's scary how different i feel when i am here. how easy it is to go back to old thought patterns and emotions.
but thank god gina came home from RI tonight.
she is my savior!
not really looking forward to this party that is definatley NOT mine which is why i'm so glad i had mine back in june, even if my parents tried to fuckin cancel it and the kerrigans let me have it there. just my parents attitude about the whole thing blows my mind really. and i hate how its so easy for me to say shit to my mom about it all when i really want to be saying it to my dad. like, "no, obviously this is your party since i had no say in the entire thing" but i didn't. and there's more, but its not worth my time or energy. we'll see tho. maybe tomorrow once i've started drinking i'll start making sly comments as if i'm jokin but he knows i'm serious. i'm planning on getting drunk nice and steady since apparently my grandfather is going to be here? but we'll see how that goes. i'm probably not even gonna spend the night here since i have the option not to. it depends.
but from the way things were when i walked into the house tonight, i'm just not in the mood to deal with the bullshit. it's scary how different i feel when i am here. how easy it is to go back to old thought patterns and emotions.
but thank god gina came home from RI tonight.
she is my savior!