"Mr. Kazu send premium fantasy. My stockings-- 'lip' them..."
Premium Fantasy Woman: Mr. Harris?
Bob Harris: Yes?
Woman: Mr. Kazu sent me.
Bob: Oh?
Woman: May I enter? Thank you. Do you like massage?
Bob: I don't think I-- I like massage anymore.
Woman: Mr. Kazu send premium fantasy. My stockings-- "lip" them. "Lip" my stockings. Yes, please. "Lip" them.
Bob: What?
Woman: "Lip" them. Hey! "Lip" my stocking!
Bob: Hey! "Lip" them? "Lip" them? What?
Woman: "Lip" them. Like this. "Lip" them.
Bob: Rip them?
Woman: "Lip," yes.
Bob: You want me to rip your stockings?
Woman: Yes, "lip" my stockings, please.
Bob: Rip your stockings. You want me to rip your stockings.
Woman: Yes. Please? Please? Please?
Bob: All right, I'm gonna rip your stockings, and you tell Mr. Kazu, you know, we had a blast.
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Absinthe... absinthe... it's my friend. If it can't make me drunk (and happy)... nothing can!!!
I swear, I've become such a lush... it's ridiculous and fabulous... all at the same time.
I needed that though, after the holiday that I had. It was the picture of a dysfunctional family. What's new? Thus far, I've spent all but one night of my vacation drunk off my ass. And hopefully, the trend will continue tomorrow night.
I should stop typing now though. I told you that I become extra-charitable with exclusive information when I'm tipsy. Some days, I feel like a horrible, horrible person. Other days, I don't -- I just accept my life for what it is. Today is a strange combination of the two. Sometimes, you don't plan for things the way they are... it's just how it is, and you have to do your best to get through it and come out better on the other side.
Blah, blah, blah... shut the hell up, you fool. Why the hell do I always feel the need to type here when I'm inebriated? I should stop that so I don't get in trouble. The end. Goodnight. I'll try to update sometime soon when I'm sober. But, that probably won't be any time before the end of vacation.
P.S. I put up all my Christmas decorations (tree, lights, etc.) I hate my family. I love alcohol. I'm beginning to understand the long line of alcoholics in my family. Bah... I'm young. It's what I'm supposed to do, right? I have an excuse for now. Making myself numb before trying to sleep is the best I can do for the time being. I typically regret typing things here when the morning roles around. I'm sure tomorrow will be no different.
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"...Sometimes is never quite enough. If you're flawless, then you'll win my love. Don't forget to win first place. Don't forget to keep that smile on your face. Be a good boy. Try a little harder. You've got to measure up and make me prouder.
How long before you screw it up? How many times do I have to tell you to hurry up? With everything I do for you, the least you can do is keep quiet. Be a good girl. You've gotta try a little harder. That simply wasn't good enough to make us proud.
I'll live through you. I'll make you what I never was. If you're the best, then maybe so am I -- compared to him, compared to her. I'm doing this for your own damn good. You'll make up for what I blew. What's the problem? Why are you crying?
Be a good boy. Push a little farther now. That wasn't fast enough to make us happy. We'll love you just the way you are, if you're perfect..."
--- Alanis Morissette ---