!Fic: Lost Stars
Title: Lost Stars
Pairing: Baekhyun/Chanyeol
Rating: nc-17
Genre: Drama, Romance, rock band au, break up/make up
Warnings: terrible smut, mentions of drugs
A/N: based off of higher by Rihanna
Disclaimer: I don't own exo
Summary: Chanyeol's an idiot for breaking up with Baekhyun and everybody knows it.
I just really need your ass with me
I'm sorry 'bout the other night
And I know I could be more creative
And come up with poetic lines
But I'm turnt up off sizz' and "I love you"
Is the only thing that's in my mind
--
You know what? Yeah, let’s break up.
Yes, let’s break up.
Let’s break up.
Break up.
--
Denial.
It had been four days since Baekhyun stormed out of Chanyeol’s apartment; four days since their first official break up after four years of being together.
Baekhyun never thought that they would ever have a ‘first break up’, hell, he never thought they’d break up at all--boy was he wrong.
Is this what their love really amounted to in the end?
It couldn’t be over. It couldn’t. This was just a phase, he was sure of it. Chanyeol was a wild soul, he knew that when he signed up to be his boyfriend.
Suddenly, pulling him from drowning in his thoughts was a knock at the door.
“Baekhyun, you really need to get out of your room today. You have to shower... and eat.” Baekhyun could contest that this was probably the first time he’d ever heard his best friend, Jongdae, speak softly. He must have been really worried this time.
“Go away.” Baekhyun called through the locked door of Jongdae’s guestroom. His voice was deep and gritty due to the continuous crying and screaming he had been engaging in that last few days, so it sounded more like guuuurarayyyyy.
“I don’t know what that means but I’m guessing it’s ‘I haven’t had water in four days and I’m about to die so just break down the door’ So I’m about to do just that.” Jongdae took his spare key and unlocked the door to the guest room. “Oh god--”
Baekhyun finally lifted his head from the bed at the retching sounds Jongdae was making the hallway. Now this was the Jongdae he knew. “It’s not that bad don’t be dramatic” Baekhyun rasped out, sounding more like a zombie with every word.
“God that’s disgusting, Baek, it smells terrible in here…god…just don’t speak, your voice is stinking up the room… god how many days has it been since you brushed your teeth!?” Jongdae exclaimed while clutching his nose.
“You could open the door this whole time and you never bothered to get me a glass of water, Dae?” Baekhyun continued despite his friend’s complaints.
“There’s a bathroom in here with filtered water and glasses! You knew that and were too lazy to get up! And don’t give me that, I heard you at 2AM opening the door for the McDonalds delivery guy.” Jongdae narrowed his eyes. Baekhyun couldn’t really take Jongdae’s complaining seriously since he was still clutching his nose and it was making his voice all nasal-y. “Just because you ate it at 2AM doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.” Jongdae approached Baekhyun with a glass of water, and Baekhyun accepted it happily.
“Shut up, Jongdae…” Baekhyun drawled in a whiney tone in between sips. He turned onto his back and looked at his chubby thighs, pouting. “I can’t get too fat, or Chanyeol won’t take me back. You should have stopped me!”
At these words, Jongdae stopped picking up trash from the floor. “Baekhyun…”
“What?” Baekhyun glared at Jongdae, getting some of his spunk back.
“You’re going back to him? That bastard? He treats you like trash--he’s always high, he ignores you, and he never thinks about your feelings!” Jongdae ranted as he turned fully towards Baekhyun. “I was so happy that you finally left… now you’re going back?” Jongdae’s voice trailed off, and Baekhyun’s eyes widened.
Jongdae and Baekhyun had been friends since middle school, and gotten into the rock scene at a young age. They were both a pair of old souls listening to Led Zeppelin and Moody Blues while other kids were into Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber. They used to follow Baekhyun’s older brother around at his rock gigs and eventually the two made a pact to audition into indie rock bands together. They were like each other’s platonic soulmates, and were the closest pair in the band.
However, this is the first time Baekhyun had seen Jongdae on the brink of crying like this. Feelings of guilt flooded Baekhyun’s chest, although he wasn’t one hundred percent sure what the problem was. Baekhyun immediately rose from the bed and wrapped his arms around his best friend.
“Dae, please don’t cry. Not because of something as stupid as my love life…” Baekhyun held onto Jongdae and rubbed his back soothingly.
“No…” Jongdae sniffed. “I’m just crying because it smells so bad in here…” Baekhyun chuckled softly and Jongdae joined him, although it sounded more like a choked sob.
Baekhyun leaned back from the hug and looked into Jongdae’s eyes with a deploring expression. “What the hell, Dae…”
“I don’t know why I’m crying either okay! Just… Baek, think about it okay...before you go back to him. You always hurt each other and I’m tired of seeing you crying.” Jongdae said as he looked away from Baekhyun’s searching eyes.
Baekhyun sighed, but he nodded.
--
“Where’s Baek- hyung been?” Sehun plopped down on the leather couch that sat in the middle of Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s apartment.
“Why do you ask?” Chanyeol looked up from the chords he was playing on his favorite acoustic on the opposite couch.
Sehun sneered when he saw the dirty underwear lying on the floor next to the coffee table. “If he was here this place wouldn’t be such a fucking dump. Damn, I didn’t realize you were as bad as Junmyeon, Chanyeol… hyung. ”
“Saying ‘hyung’ after an insult doesn’t make it better, Hun.” Chanyeol rolled his eyes, avoiding the question. Sehun cocked his eyebrow.
“So? Where is he?” he pressed on. As the youngest member of the band, he was always one to meddle in the elder’s problems and try to get into the older crowd. Sehun hated feeling left out of his hyung’s businesses.
Chanyeol looked to the floor and then back at Sehun. “We... broke up.” Chanyeol whispered in a low tone, as if saying it any louder would make it real.
“You’re... joking right?” Sehun guffawed and leaned forward. Chanyeol just glared back.
“You’re not? What the fuck? ” Sehun practically yelled as he got up from the couch abruptly. “I know you guys are like all over the place and fight a lot but there’s never been a real ‘break up’. What the hell happened?” Sehun combed his hands through his hair, thinking about what this might mean for the band. Chanyeol and Baekhyun were complete opposites and they fought a lot--for sure, but they had never put the band at risk like this by breaking up... this could fuck their band over for real, this time.
“Don’t worry about it... I’m sure he’ll be back soon. He’s never gone for long…” Chanyeol hummed and went back to strumming on his acoustic, as if none of the stuff he just said mattered. Baekhyun actually left him , and Chanyeol was acting like this was just a regular fight.
Sehun got up from the couch and paced around the room, running his hands through his hair again and again. “Did you really say the words ‘I’m breaking up with you’ ?” Sehun asked incredulously, not believing that his hyungs could ever actually break up. They were a hurricane of right and wrong in the world but they loved each other. “Or shit, did he say it?”
Chanyeol thought back to that night; that night that should have been like any other night. Chanyeol wasn’t thinking that night.
“What? You gonna break up with me now?”
“Why should I have to stay with you if you don’t even love me? You know what? Yeah, let’s break up.”
“He said it.” Chanyeol replied curtly. Sehun looked up, shocked.
“You’re fucking with me… Baekhyun loves your flat ass. He couldn’t have.” Sehun sat back down on the couch, realizing the gravity of the situation. Chanyeol was a heartless, petty bastard, he threw the ‘let’s just break up then’ card all the time with Baekhyun. Sehun knew that, but Baekhyun would always fight for them. Baekhyun loved Chanyeol to bits, Chanyeol was Baekhyun’s muse and savior, so to hear that Baekhyun had been the one to say that they should breakup this time, might just mean that they were really done.
“Chanyeol…. you must’ve fucked up big time, this time.” Chanyeol knew that. Chanyeol had fucked up many times before, often ending up with Baekhyun staying at Jongdae’s house for a few days before coming back, but the words ‘break up’ had never come out of Baekhyun’s mouth before. Chanyeol thought that Baekhyun and him had some understanding that no matter what happened, they would always choose each other in the end. Over everything. So eventually, Baekhyun would just come back, no questions asked.
Chanyeol was treating this just as another fight, they couldn’t have actually broken up for real, right? Baekhyun loved him, and Chanyeol sure as hell loved Baekhyun. This couldn’t be the end.
“I know, Hun. I know.”
When Sehun finally left, for the first time since Baekhyun left four days ago, Chanyeol let his uncertainty seep into his voice. “...Fuck.”
--
Anger.
“So what are you going to do for the gig tonight? Are you going? I can get Kyungsoo to cancel if you really need to?” Jongdae said as casually as he could while Baekhyun and him were having dinner.
“No...no I’ll go. If this is a permanent change, I’ll have to face uh…” Baekhyun was trying to say his name, but he just physically couldn’t. “Uh…” Baekhyun’s eyes started to tear up and his voice choked up.
Jongdae got up from his chair and walked around the dining table. “Baekhyun, it’s okay if you’re not ready yet.”
“No. No, I can do this, Dae… I have to… see him.” Baekhyun rasped out. “God, when people say love leaves you breathless they really weren’t kidding…” Baekhyun coughed awkwardly.
Jongdae just smiled sadly in response.
--
Chanyeol was waiting anxiously in the backstage area of their concert venue for Baekhyun’s arrival. He wasn’t sure if Baekhyun was even going to come--but Chanyeol needed to see him. It had been a week since Baekhyun had left their apartment that Friday night. Baekhyun was usually only gone two or three days when they fought, and since they lived together, this was probably the longest time Chanyeol had been away from his boyfriend.
He kept on eyeing the time, knowing there was only half an hour or so until their set. When Chanyeol spotted Kyungsoo, their manager, he grabbed onto his shoulder.
“Hyung, did Jongdae say anything about whether Baekhyun was coming tonight?” Chanyeol asked shakily.
“I didn’t hear anything from him, no. Why wouldn’t Baekhyun come, though? We’d have to make an official statement of his absence, it would be a total mess. You guys aren't a small time band anymore, Chanyeol. You can't just casually miss gigs like this.” Kyungsoo replied before turning frantically to search the crowd of coordis and electricians for the two vocalists. “ah, there they are. Thank God.”
Chanyeol turned quickly towards the door, where Baekhyun and Jongdae were entering. Baekhyun looked flawless as usual, the complete opposite of Chanyeol’s haggard state. Chanyeol couldn’t help but feel bitter. It was as if while Chanyeol was going crazy with worry over the smaller, Baekhyun was completely unaffected.
Chanyeol made his way through the countless other people before grabbing onto Baekhyun’s shoulder and forcefully turning him around.
Baekhyun looked even more beautiful up close. His fiery red hair--which Chanyeol had dyed himself--was left unstyled but he looked flawless. He was wearing an oversized red flannel and tight, black jeans. Chanyeol’s heart dropped. What was really going on? Why was Baekhyun so unaffected?
With these questions in mind, Chanyeol began his interrogation. Unfortunately, he didn’t get very far.
“Where the hell have you--” SLAP.
Chanyeol staggered back at the sudden force on his cheek and bumped into a few people behind him. Baekhyun had never, ever hit him before.
“What do you think you’re doing? Don't touch me or use that tone with me, Chanyeol. We're over. Or were you too high that night to hear that part either?” Baekhyun sneered angrily.
The workers around Chanyeol were whispering about the slap in harsh tones, and Kyungsoo was shouting, ushering them out of the area, trying to get back in control of the situation. If it got out that the two were in a physical fight, there would be a media frenzy. Baekhyun couldn’t have cared less.
When Baekhyun saw Chanyeol approaching them, he was a lot more angry than he thought he would be. Earlier, locked in Jongdae’s guestroom, all he did was romanticize his and Chanyeol’s relationship.
Seeing Chanyeol here, looking as handsome as ever, donning his perfect hair and dare Baekhyun say it-- eyeliner!-- As if Baekhyun leaving had no effect on him at all, just brought out all the feelings he should have had in the first place. Pure. Anger.
Baekhyun fought for them every single time, and Chanyeol never gave a damn. Mutual understanding? Yeah fucking right, Baekhyun was sure that Chanyeol would have saved a gram of speed from sinking to the bottom of the ocean before saving Baekhyun from drowning.
Jongdae huffed angrily and started to pull Baekhyun away from Chanyeol.
“C’mon Baek, let’s just go get our in-ears.” Baekhyun gave Jongdae a small nod before turning away from Chanyeol who still stood there, frozen.
They were done? How could this have happened? Chanyeol shrunk into himself, all of his self-confidence melting away. He ran his hands through his hair, and huffed out a shaky breath. This was not happening.
Before Chanyeol could even begin to get his bearings in order, Kyungsoo grabbed onto his arm. “Why haven’t you headed to the risers yet? The set’s starting now!” Kyungsoo, not realizing Chanyeol’s zoned out state, started dragging him to the area under the stage. The way there was a blur, and before Chanyeol knew it, he was sitting behind his drum kit, and hundreds of girls were screaming for them in the crowd.
When Chanyeol heard the riff of the bass, he knew he had already missed his cue. He was supposed to start off their first song, Uprising, but Sehun seemed to have taken the artistic liberty of starting off the song himself, noticing Chanyeol’s dazed state.
Chanyeol started to come back to reality when he noticed the worried faces of his fangirls--they knew all the songs by heart and had automatically realized their favorite drummer’s odd behavior. The glittery signs went down, and excited smiles were painted over with worry. Yixing, their guitarist, gave a hard glare at Chanyeol during one of the stronger chords, and the drummer was finally set into action.
Most of the drumming was muscle memory at this point, as Chanyeol drummed along to Baekhyun and Jongdae’s crooning. Although all the notes were coming out right, the usual power and charisma that Chanyeol possessed was absent. It was ruining the vibe of the song, since it was supposed to be high energy and powerful.
Baekhyun glanced back at the dazed Chanyeol once the first song in the set ended. Baekhyun was more annoyed than anything, he tried to convince himself, as he stuffed his worry at the back of his mind. Chanyeol deserved this. He deserved to feel the consequences of his actions.
The next song began, with Chanyeol actually fulfilling his role of kicking off the song this time. The song came off as frustratingly bland as the previous with Chanyeol’s lackluster playing, and Baekhyun could see some of the fangirls in the front being less hyped than they usually were, even with the rest of the band giving their one hundred percent.
Baekhyun frustratedly grabbed the mic off the stand and stomped his way back to the drum kit during one of the harmonies right before the main chorus. He rested his foot on the side of one of the lower drums, and sang the song right to Chanyeol.
At the challenge in Baekhyun’s eyes, Chanyeol flipped his drum stick and put more strength into each stroke of his wrists. Fangirls were screaming and whooping at their intense interaction, but those sounds were nothing but background noise to the two. Baekhyun put all of his strength into his final high note, and Chanyeol was almost banging on the drum set at this point, reinvigorated.
The crowd was screaming for the two, shouting their couple name; and as the song came to an end, there was a deafening applause from the the whole venue.
Chanyeol and Baekhyun stared into each others eyes heatedly for a moment, before Baekhyun took his leg off the drum and strutted back to the front of the stage to bow, breaking the moment.
--
Later in the night, Baekhyun was pressed against the wall of the alley behind Teddy’s, the bar where they had their usual afterparty, with Chanyeol’s hand down his pants.
Baekhyun had no idea how they had gotten into this situation, (maybe he did, just a teensy bit) but he was going along with it anyways.
“You’re such a fucking dick, you never think about anyone but yourself.” Baekhyun gritted out, as Chanyeol’s hand began to slow.
Chanyeol just smirked and sunk to his knees. “Says you, you never stick around to have a proper conversation about anything.” Chanyeol muttered before taking Baekhyun’s tip into his mouth. Baekhyun’s head tipped back onto the brick wall and he cursed as Chanyeol’s lips sunk deeper on to his cock.
“Don’t act all cocky right now, Chany-yeol. Fuck!”
Chanyeol looked up cheekily and lifted one eyebrow.
“Oh, fuck you.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes and thrusted his hips into Chanyeol’s mouth.
Chanyeol finally closed his eyes as they began to tear up when Baekhyun’s cock hit the back of his throat repeatedly.
“C-can’t take this?” Baekhyun thrusted harshly between his words. “Imagine how I had to take your f-fucking monster cock every fucking d-day, you bastard.” Baekhyun started to thrust faster, his moans disappearing into the night, muffled by the sounds of the club music blaring behind them. After a few more thrusts he finally growled as he came in Chanyeol’s mouth, forcing him to swallow.
Chanyeol pulled off of Baekhyun’s cock abruptly, wiping his mouth with his forearm and gulping down the rest of the cum. “No warning?” He joked.
“You deserved that, asshole.” Baekhyun panted out.
Chanyeol stood back up and forcefully spun Baekhyun around, so his front was against the wall. Chanyeol bit down on the junction of Baekhyun’s neck and shoulder in retaliation.
“Oh, you’re about to get it now, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol smacked Baekhyun’s plump asscheek once before reaching into Baekhyun’s pocket and taking out his wallet. Chanyeol picked out a packet of lube and a condom and smirked.
“Old habits die hard I see. Or were you planning on getting laid tonight?” Anger seeped into Chanyeol’s voice.
“Oh, so you can sleep around but I can’t?” Baekhyun retorted.
Chanyeol angrily unfastened Baekhyun’s pants and slid them down his back so just his lower back was exposed to Chanyeol.
“Sleep around? With who?” Chanyeol gritted out.
“Just shut up and fucking get on with it!” Baekhyun snapped.
Chanyeol poured some of the lubrication on his fingers and slipped his fingers in slowly. Baekhyun used to love Chanyeol’s thick fingers because they were as thick as five cocks on their own, but with little lubrication as they had now, it burned.
“Fuck…!” Baekhyun pressed his nails into the wall in front of him. Chanyeol paused, allowing Baekhyun to adjust to the intrusion. As Baekhyun’s pants turned into whines, Chanyeol inserted two, then three fingers in him.
“Enough foreplay. Just get on with it.” Baekhyun rasped.
Chanyeol smirked and pulled his fingers out and undid his own belt, finally freeing his bulge from his jeans. He opened the condom and slid it on before retrieving the leaking packet of lube from his jacket pocket and pouring the rest of the lube onto his leaking cock. He pumped himself a few times before finally lining up with Baekhyun’s hole.
He thrusted in slowly, giving in to the tight heat that was Baekhyun. Baekhyun moaned loudly, satisfied with being filled by his ex boyfriend inch by inch. Chanyeol’s cock must have been eight? Nine inches? None of Baekhyun’s exes (before Chanyeol) could ever match up to the feeling that Chanyeol gave him when they fucked. The feeling of being filled to the brim.
Being together for four years already, Chanyeol knew Baekhyun’s body like the back of his hand. He thrusted right into that spot that always drove his little boyfriend crazy. Chanyeol paused for good measure and lifted one of his hands from where it was resting on Baekhyun’s hips to massage Baekhyun’s lower back. Baekhyun grunted before finally giving Chanyeol the okay to move.
Chanyeol pistoned in and out of the tight heat, moaning and growling into the night “Take my pipe, yeah, just like that baby.” His Baekhyun was always a good fuck.
Baekhyun met Chanyeol with every thrust as Chanyeol hit his prostate dead on. They fucked quick and dirty, Baekhyun coming onto the wall and Chanyeol into the condom. As soon as they were done, Chanyeol pulled out and Baekhyun fell to his knees, boneless. Chanyeol fastened his jeans and pulled Baekhyun up by his hips before fastening Baekhyun’s pants for him. He picked Baekhyun up bridal style, and just stared at him for a moment.
He was so stupid. How could he ever have let their relationship get to this point? Baekhyun hated him now.
Chanyeol sighed, tearing his eyes from Baekhyun’s peaceful face. He exited the alley with Baekhyun in his arms, and hailed a cab.
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