bahh!
So the parents came up for the day. Which was fine, except for the fact that I'm going home the next three weekends in a row. So there was absolutely no need for them to come up. I mentioned that to my dad today and he was like I know, tell your mother that. Whatever. The day started out fine, I woke up at a decent time. Got plenty of sleep...well I thought it was plenty. I'm exhausted now. But I called my parents at 11:30 to see where they were and they were about 45 minutes away. I told them to stop and get bagels from Brueger's for me and Al. So they brought us yummy yummy bagels. Delicious!
That was all fine and dandy. My parents get here, and we eat our bagels. My mom informed me that my dad would be go shopping with us all day today. First of all, my dad hates shopping. Second of all, he's very impatient. I knew this was a bad start to the day. But I was fine with it. We went to Target and I got a new pair of sweatpants :), food and drinks, and these awesome Nerf guns!! Beware Jen and Al!!! Jen had gotten two guns with her mom also. So it's going to be a war constantly!!! After Target, we went to Old Navy. I got an awesome jacket!! It's so cute!! I got it on sale for $20 too, which makes it even more awesome. It's lime green and buttons, and has a belt. I can't wait to wear it. I also got a pink kind of sweat shirt. It's really cute. It was on sale too. That's all I got from there. I didn't want to buy much, my mom is taking me birthday shopping in two weeks. After Old Navy, we went to Walmart. I got more groceries, Shrek 2!!, and some like paper and pens. When we were done, we ran by the dorm and dropped off the cold stuff. I also got my gift certificate to Helzberg's.
We headed to the mall. There I was walking with my dad and I was just like so did mom tell you that I want to transfer and he was like yeah, you don't need to. I got upset with him, although I didn't say anything. I'm sure he could tell by my facial expression. Mom bought me Shrek at the mall too. While we were standing in line, I told her what dad said and she was just like where do you want to transfer to. I don't know yet so I was like I don't know. I said maybe Michigan or Ohio or somewhere like that. She automatically got defensive and was like you aren't going to be able to take your car to Michigan. I was like I know this. She then went on to say we don't have the money to fly you home all the time either. I was like I know this too. It took all I had to not start going off on her. I kept my cool, although she could tell I wasn't happy. After Suncoast, we headed to Helzberg Diamonds. I had a $50 gift certificate to there and wanted to use it. It's nothing like buy jewelry for yourself. Hehe. I got a pair of earing that are sorta hoops and have small diamonds in them. They are very dainty and cute. While we were waiting I had my ring cleaned. It seemed like we were waiting for forever, and the guy that helped me was like do you like chocolate? I was like umm yeah...And he was like ok, and then he gave me a box of chocolates. I was happy about that. Although, I don't really need them. We have entirely too much Halloween candy around here. Now I have a box of chocolates.
After the mall, we dropped everything off at the dorm and went out to eat. The wait was about an hour. My dad got sort of pissy because of the wait, so that made my mom mad too. I was like anywhere we go we will have a wait. It was dinner time...duh! So we waited and barely talked. My mom was being a bitch. Dad was being ok, he always is though. So then we get seated, in which we only waited 45 minutes, and order and everything. Then my mother brings up the issue of transfering again. I really didn't want to talk about it right then, so I just said I don't want to talk about this right now. That was it, I pissed her off! She got tears in her eyes and was really bitchy after that. She wasn't just mean towards me and my dad, but she was rude to the waitress. I fucking hate when she pulls this shit. After about 5 minutes of sitting in silence, my dad starts to ask me, well do you want to come home and go to Bradley? I was like no, I don't want to do that. Why the hell would I want to go back to Peoria and go to school. I've lived there my whole life. At least he didn't get upset with me when I said no. So dinner just plain sucked. Well, the food was good. I got really full.
I drove them around all day in my mom's car. Showed them around and everything. On our way back to school, I thought my mom's foot was going to go through the floorboard. She was like pretending like she had a brake over there. I wasn't even driving crazily. Or if I made a turn she shifted in her seat like she had to hang on for dear life. So I pull into the parking lot and park and ask if they want me to turn the car off? My mom just looks at my dad and he was like I don't know. No one really answered me, but he got out and acting like he was going to get into the driver's seat so I just left it on. He was like Nancee, aren't you going to give her some gas money. She was like yeah...and then handed me money. I hugged my mom and told her I'd see her next weekend. Then I got out and hugged my dad and he was like we'll talk this weekend. It sounded promising...sorta. Well more than the rest of the night had. So today just plain sucked! I've never been more frustrated. I could just cry.
So I don't think I've mentioned that I want to transfer. It's not like this school is bad, but it's just not challenging for me. I barely study for classes and I'm getting all A's. It just seems like a problem to me. I know that freshmen year is supposed to be the easiest year, but not this easy. I've talked Gil at U of I and he said his classes are mad hard. And that he has to study all the time. Well he'd study even if they weren't hard, but he said it's challenging. I don't want to go to U of I though. I don't want to go to any schools in Illinois or Iowa. There aren't any that appeal to me. Another reason I want to transfer is that I am very bored here. There isn't anything to do. On the weekends, it's the same thing. Go to the townhouses, I mean that's fun every once in a while, and it's fun because everyone is nice. But I just don't feel like it's something I want to do every weekend. I guess it'd just be better if I was closer friends with those people. I want a bigger school. There is no diversity here. That isn't how the real world is. Not everyone is the same. I won't be working with people that are just like me. I mean probably the people I work will be like me somewhat, but not every one of them. I want to be farther away from my parents too. I feel like I have no freedom. I do to some extent, but it's like they know every move. Well...except last weekend. ;-) But it's the feeling that if something gets tough, I know that home is just an hour away. Or that mom can run up here. That's not acting like an adult. I don't figure things out on my own, because it's just so easy to go home or have her come here. That's not how my life is going to be. I wish my mom would just let me make my own choices. For once, I wish she would just accept what I'm going to do and not object. I wish she would just support me and let me go. When is she going to let me go. I'm going to be 19 in 2 weeks ( 2 weeks to the day by the way!). Is she going to wait til I'm 20 or 21 or 22? How much longer can she keep acting like this. I feel like she controls everything about my life. Everything that is major. It's ok that she has some input, but when it comes to it, I make the decisions. I understand that she doesn't want me to make mistakes, but that is part of life. I'll live through them. I know she doesn't want to see me upset, but again, she can't shelter me from everythiing... A reason for wanting to go to out to school out east is to be closer to Mike too. I'm not going to deny that part. He definately is reasoning for going east instead of south or west, although there isn't much out west except Cali. And the east has good business schools. Better than around here anyways. I just want to be closer to Mike though. Let's see how I'm going to explain that to my mom. She doesn't listen to me as it is...
So everytime I try to tell her about this, she goes psycho and I barely get a word in. Either she intrupts me and I eventually give up on saying anything or she starts crying and just gets pissed and doesn't listen. Real mature if you ask me. I don't know what else to try. When I talk to her on the phone she basically does the same thing. What am I supposed to do, write an e-mail? That's not going to happen. I just wish I could keep her mouth shut completely until I get done fully explaining myself. But anyways...
On a good note, I'm still completely in love. I just wish I was older and out of school. I wish I was braver and could stand up to my mom all the way. Ahh! It's going to drive me crazy.
I should get going. Maybe I should get drunk tonight and become a depressed lush. Sounds like a good idea to me...ok, maybe not. Maybe I'll do some research on schools.
That was all fine and dandy. My parents get here, and we eat our bagels. My mom informed me that my dad would be go shopping with us all day today. First of all, my dad hates shopping. Second of all, he's very impatient. I knew this was a bad start to the day. But I was fine with it. We went to Target and I got a new pair of sweatpants :), food and drinks, and these awesome Nerf guns!! Beware Jen and Al!!! Jen had gotten two guns with her mom also. So it's going to be a war constantly!!! After Target, we went to Old Navy. I got an awesome jacket!! It's so cute!! I got it on sale for $20 too, which makes it even more awesome. It's lime green and buttons, and has a belt. I can't wait to wear it. I also got a pink kind of sweat shirt. It's really cute. It was on sale too. That's all I got from there. I didn't want to buy much, my mom is taking me birthday shopping in two weeks. After Old Navy, we went to Walmart. I got more groceries, Shrek 2!!, and some like paper and pens. When we were done, we ran by the dorm and dropped off the cold stuff. I also got my gift certificate to Helzberg's.
We headed to the mall. There I was walking with my dad and I was just like so did mom tell you that I want to transfer and he was like yeah, you don't need to. I got upset with him, although I didn't say anything. I'm sure he could tell by my facial expression. Mom bought me Shrek at the mall too. While we were standing in line, I told her what dad said and she was just like where do you want to transfer to. I don't know yet so I was like I don't know. I said maybe Michigan or Ohio or somewhere like that. She automatically got defensive and was like you aren't going to be able to take your car to Michigan. I was like I know this. She then went on to say we don't have the money to fly you home all the time either. I was like I know this too. It took all I had to not start going off on her. I kept my cool, although she could tell I wasn't happy. After Suncoast, we headed to Helzberg Diamonds. I had a $50 gift certificate to there and wanted to use it. It's nothing like buy jewelry for yourself. Hehe. I got a pair of earing that are sorta hoops and have small diamonds in them. They are very dainty and cute. While we were waiting I had my ring cleaned. It seemed like we were waiting for forever, and the guy that helped me was like do you like chocolate? I was like umm yeah...And he was like ok, and then he gave me a box of chocolates. I was happy about that. Although, I don't really need them. We have entirely too much Halloween candy around here. Now I have a box of chocolates.
After the mall, we dropped everything off at the dorm and went out to eat. The wait was about an hour. My dad got sort of pissy because of the wait, so that made my mom mad too. I was like anywhere we go we will have a wait. It was dinner time...duh! So we waited and barely talked. My mom was being a bitch. Dad was being ok, he always is though. So then we get seated, in which we only waited 45 minutes, and order and everything. Then my mother brings up the issue of transfering again. I really didn't want to talk about it right then, so I just said I don't want to talk about this right now. That was it, I pissed her off! She got tears in her eyes and was really bitchy after that. She wasn't just mean towards me and my dad, but she was rude to the waitress. I fucking hate when she pulls this shit. After about 5 minutes of sitting in silence, my dad starts to ask me, well do you want to come home and go to Bradley? I was like no, I don't want to do that. Why the hell would I want to go back to Peoria and go to school. I've lived there my whole life. At least he didn't get upset with me when I said no. So dinner just plain sucked. Well, the food was good. I got really full.
I drove them around all day in my mom's car. Showed them around and everything. On our way back to school, I thought my mom's foot was going to go through the floorboard. She was like pretending like she had a brake over there. I wasn't even driving crazily. Or if I made a turn she shifted in her seat like she had to hang on for dear life. So I pull into the parking lot and park and ask if they want me to turn the car off? My mom just looks at my dad and he was like I don't know. No one really answered me, but he got out and acting like he was going to get into the driver's seat so I just left it on. He was like Nancee, aren't you going to give her some gas money. She was like yeah...and then handed me money. I hugged my mom and told her I'd see her next weekend. Then I got out and hugged my dad and he was like we'll talk this weekend. It sounded promising...sorta. Well more than the rest of the night had. So today just plain sucked! I've never been more frustrated. I could just cry.
So I don't think I've mentioned that I want to transfer. It's not like this school is bad, but it's just not challenging for me. I barely study for classes and I'm getting all A's. It just seems like a problem to me. I know that freshmen year is supposed to be the easiest year, but not this easy. I've talked Gil at U of I and he said his classes are mad hard. And that he has to study all the time. Well he'd study even if they weren't hard, but he said it's challenging. I don't want to go to U of I though. I don't want to go to any schools in Illinois or Iowa. There aren't any that appeal to me. Another reason I want to transfer is that I am very bored here. There isn't anything to do. On the weekends, it's the same thing. Go to the townhouses, I mean that's fun every once in a while, and it's fun because everyone is nice. But I just don't feel like it's something I want to do every weekend. I guess it'd just be better if I was closer friends with those people. I want a bigger school. There is no diversity here. That isn't how the real world is. Not everyone is the same. I won't be working with people that are just like me. I mean probably the people I work will be like me somewhat, but not every one of them. I want to be farther away from my parents too. I feel like I have no freedom. I do to some extent, but it's like they know every move. Well...except last weekend. ;-) But it's the feeling that if something gets tough, I know that home is just an hour away. Or that mom can run up here. That's not acting like an adult. I don't figure things out on my own, because it's just so easy to go home or have her come here. That's not how my life is going to be. I wish my mom would just let me make my own choices. For once, I wish she would just accept what I'm going to do and not object. I wish she would just support me and let me go. When is she going to let me go. I'm going to be 19 in 2 weeks ( 2 weeks to the day by the way!). Is she going to wait til I'm 20 or 21 or 22? How much longer can she keep acting like this. I feel like she controls everything about my life. Everything that is major. It's ok that she has some input, but when it comes to it, I make the decisions. I understand that she doesn't want me to make mistakes, but that is part of life. I'll live through them. I know she doesn't want to see me upset, but again, she can't shelter me from everythiing... A reason for wanting to go to out to school out east is to be closer to Mike too. I'm not going to deny that part. He definately is reasoning for going east instead of south or west, although there isn't much out west except Cali. And the east has good business schools. Better than around here anyways. I just want to be closer to Mike though. Let's see how I'm going to explain that to my mom. She doesn't listen to me as it is...
So everytime I try to tell her about this, she goes psycho and I barely get a word in. Either she intrupts me and I eventually give up on saying anything or she starts crying and just gets pissed and doesn't listen. Real mature if you ask me. I don't know what else to try. When I talk to her on the phone she basically does the same thing. What am I supposed to do, write an e-mail? That's not going to happen. I just wish I could keep her mouth shut completely until I get done fully explaining myself. But anyways...
On a good note, I'm still completely in love. I just wish I was older and out of school. I wish I was braver and could stand up to my mom all the way. Ahh! It's going to drive me crazy.
I should get going. Maybe I should get drunk tonight and become a depressed lush. Sounds like a good idea to me...ok, maybe not. Maybe I'll do some research on schools.