truth of the matter is.shakeandquakeJanuary 4 2010, 08:41:31 UTC
Feng is so fucked up you couldn't even begin to figure him out if you wanted to.
He is insecure in his capability of being able to provide for his now wife. It's why he used to womanize. He has always felt he doesn't deserve anything he has in life and the rug is gonna be swept out from under him quicker than you can imagine, which is why he pushes himself so hard to try and cement something that might last. But he knows nothing he's worked for is really as permanent as it seems.
Being a disappointment to his family isn't an issue so much as it is part of who he is at this point, which is why he doesn't view it as enough of a problem to talk about it to anyone. Melody is a dancer who he can't help out? That's cool, he'll smile about it. Vincent is too insecure to work on his own relationship or to even come to his own brother for advice on it? That's cool, Vince is his own man.
Feng so very desperately wants to be the person people can rely on, but he thinks they can't. Because he thinks he's too immature, too unstable, too unready to face anything to actually offer sound advice more than 'get 'er done!' But in his own lingo, of course.
Dying was the worst thing that could have happened to him not because he died, but because he came back to life and saw that there really wasn't a reason for it. Bai Hua loves him, but she can move on if she had to. Jun cares about him as a friend, but he's more than capable of standing on his own. And his siblings might have missed him, but they have lives so far independent from his own that it wouldn't effect them in the way he thought it might.
Some days, he thinks he might be better off still a zombie. Some days he's not really sure why he bothers with anything at all.
But he still thinks he's good. 'Cause he's rich and good looking (to the right people) and has a wife and a nice home and flashy cars. What else does a former fat boy from LA really deserve, right?
He is insecure in his capability of being able to provide for his now wife. It's why he used to womanize. He has always felt he doesn't deserve anything he has in life and the rug is gonna be swept out from under him quicker than you can imagine, which is why he pushes himself so hard to try and cement something that might last. But he knows nothing he's worked for is really as permanent as it seems.
Being a disappointment to his family isn't an issue so much as it is part of who he is at this point, which is why he doesn't view it as enough of a problem to talk about it to anyone. Melody is a dancer who he can't help out? That's cool, he'll smile about it. Vincent is too insecure to work on his own relationship or to even come to his own brother for advice on it? That's cool, Vince is his own man.
Feng so very desperately wants to be the person people can rely on, but he thinks they can't. Because he thinks he's too immature, too unstable, too unready to face anything to actually offer sound advice more than 'get 'er done!' But in his own lingo, of course.
Dying was the worst thing that could have happened to him not because he died, but because he came back to life and saw that there really wasn't a reason for it. Bai Hua loves him, but she can move on if she had to. Jun cares about him as a friend, but he's more than capable of standing on his own. And his siblings might have missed him, but they have lives so far independent from his own that it wouldn't effect them in the way he thought it might.
Some days, he thinks he might be better off still a zombie. Some days he's not really sure why he bothers with anything at all.
But he still thinks he's good. 'Cause he's rich and good looking (to the right people) and has a wife and a nice home and flashy cars. What else does a former fat boy from LA really deserve, right?
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