Promise You Won't Tell
mmmm gossip. what would my life be without gossip? XXX likes YYY but YYY likes ZZZ, while ZZZ is smitten with XXX. AAA likes BBB but BBB likes AAA and CCC while CCC frankly doesn't give a damn. not that any of these strange love triangle scenarios are real since my rather limited social circles aren't (as far as i know) anywhere near as happening as this. i wouldn't be bored enough to come here and blog if anything half as interesting as this actually occurred.
anyway, what i meant to say was that blogs are pivotal to my very existence because they are major suppliers of juicy tidbits and other scandalmongering essentials, even with their stunning lack of complicated love triangles and rectangles and hexagons. i really can't imagine why my peers don't engage in more complicated courtship rituals like crane dances or peacock displays, it would make life so much more interesting. i mean if even animals can come up with stuff like that (even penguins have lives exciting enough to be made into movies!), surely we higher level beings should be able to lead slightly more soap opera-ish lovelives right? clearly, as you can see, i am a Grade A gossip addict, and i need to get a weekly fix or i'll go into withdrawal and suffer long debilitating spasms of boredom and dismay which would have an extremely dampening effect on my prelims and you, my gentle loving friends, wouldn't want that to happen now, would you?
so please, i beg you, do not stop blogging! do not let the weighty pressures of mugging prevent you from coming online to give this voyeur her daily newsbite! heed the cry of this desperate busybody and give her something to look forward to! do not stop blogging.
when the blogging stops, the breathing can too and you don't want to be responsible for my death, do you? on second thoughts, please don't answer that :( :( :( i'm afraid i won't like the answer.