(no subject)
you ever realize how much shit your friends take for you? i mean think about it if you've ever been though anything in you life who did you turn to? you friends! they hold you up when your knees go out, they catch you when the decide its time to finally jump off the edge! i know that i would not be here if it wasn't for my friends! it seems like every time it gets to be to much they are always there to pull the gun away from my head or pull the razor out of my hand i honestly don't think i would have made it though some of the shit I've been though if it wasn't for them. sometime i worry about them, what if what I've been though some how damages them when the come to rescue do they feel that pain do they know how the heart breaks? i don't want them to know how i feel i don't them to feel that pain, i don't want them to have to handle the flashbacks, the tears, the screams and the blood. i wouldn't wish that on anyone. i know the only way to heal is to let it go, and i have but i still know that pain, it plays its self back to me at random times. Maybe its Gods way of making me appreciate the power I have found to go on of the friends I have. I'm not afraid to bleed and I'm not afraid to hurt, I am afraid to let someone else know or feel the pain. I want to be the protector I want to be the one who takes that away from other people. I cant hold it inside anymore. this is my way of letting it out. I wont let you hold me down or make me deal with you evils anymore. ITS OVER LET ME GO!