tak ada inspirasi
i'm sitting in yet another airport, trying to write an overdue article about freedoms, and my head is about to explode. i have nothing to say. absolutely nothing at all. the instruction is to write about existing freedoms that we do have. but i am choking in the aftermath of news boycott, cause i just can;t stand another article about siti norhaliza's impending jiwang wedding.
meanwhile, a uniformed cop called arfan is asking for my passport, asking me to show him my airticket as proof that i legitimately belong in this space. i understand that US & UK are going all hysterical about liquid terrorists and dislocating their shoulders through over-zealous self-congratulatory gestures by successfully foiling yet another attack at democracy. but please lah. this is getting stupid. who wants to hang out at an airport at 2.30am in the morning except maybe to get free internet connection? or maybe there are lonesome alienated urbanites who come out here just to check out the boys in blue and their fetching cowboy hats. maybe i have just been solicited and am just not clued in to the sign. maybe i am just suffering from sleep deprivation.
anyway, back to my point. freedoms, freedoms.... how does one write about freedoms in malaysia hari ini? lemme see. some dude died and his family played tug-of-war with members of the religious force because of some words written in some document filed somewhere suddenly unearthed. when it comes to claiming the ummah, intrinsic beauracratic ineffeciency becomes more mythical than god. before you can amen (amin), the jangguts have arrived. then we have someone, not yet dead, just wanting a change in letters. depends on which side of the shadow i guess. crossing over to the dark side.. to the light side. depends who's looking. depends who's holding the chop & pen. so no joy for ms joy, and meanwhile, the congregation can only pray.
some agitated advocates decided to form a band of sisters and brothers, and actually get out of KL to do some public awareness dialogues. they should be awarded! given flowers and praises for their attempt at actually reaching out! but they are told to shut up in a case of mistaken identity. Article 11, Federal Constitution, IFC. ironically, none of the trinity are actually breaching any kinds of law. all legitimate attempts within our social contract to talk about god, baby. let's talk about you and me. they get the gag. they get the ghost. they get the unlucky number and the weed killer. party pooper. so now we all have to shut up, once again. lucky there is a violent war in lebanon to displace our moral righteousness. something to be compassionate about. another venue for us to display our kind and magnanimous malaysia. aku nak muntah.
then they want to monitor the internet. want to control the freedoms that is being practiced kononnya, sewenang-wenangnya. budaya kuning. budaya coklat. budaya maksiat. a couple is charged for not paying bribes. for fingers entwined. a website that republishes an article about women smartening up to sign legal pre-nups are being accused of spreading yet another strain of WDV, western decadence virus. a TV programme that shows young people actually going on dates is another example. datuks and drs threatening to pull all strings and raise this in parliament. malasnya....aku nak layan.
So what can i say about freedoms? The freedom to disengage? The freedom to not give a fuck anymore? The freedom to curse and blog and let the safety of this space neutralise any potential of political impetus from anger? The freedom to pay my way out of this stupid country since I am heralded as pendatang anyway. The freedom to blame everything on race? on class? on penises? The freedom to enjoy the privileges that comes from being Chinese, being in PJ, being a passport holder, being literate, being able to access spaces that can distortedly legitimate? The freedom to use all lack of freedom as an excuse to justify the unproblematised enjoyment of privileges? The freedom to buy ciplak DVDs? The freedom to afford broadband and download adegan lucah dalam muzik berunsur hitam via P2P? The freedom to refuse to read Utusan, NST, The Star, Berita Harian, Harian Metro, Kosmo and Cosmopolitan M'sia? The freedom to buy masturbate to Mastika and have wet dreams about pontianaks with hanging breasts and dangling fingers? The freedom to update my CV and get another job and put it in RHB to earn some interest to borrow some money to get a house to buy a family and maybe a little kitten? The freedom to choose Maxis or Digi? The freedom to choose which kind of Astro package to beli? The freedom to laugh at racist jokes when the last laugh is not aimed at me? The freedom to swerve in traffic jams and undercut slowdrivers who dont have the wit to get off the fast lane? The freedom to engage in privatised road rage? The freedom to take all my lack of freedoms, bunch them in a fist and take them home to my lover's face? The freedom to buy some forgetfulness?
It's past 3am. I have one more hour to come up with some kind of inspiring bullshit. I don't know what is possible. I just want to cackle like a crazy witch and flirt with a coconut tree.
meanwhile, a uniformed cop called arfan is asking for my passport, asking me to show him my airticket as proof that i legitimately belong in this space. i understand that US & UK are going all hysterical about liquid terrorists and dislocating their shoulders through over-zealous self-congratulatory gestures by successfully foiling yet another attack at democracy. but please lah. this is getting stupid. who wants to hang out at an airport at 2.30am in the morning except maybe to get free internet connection? or maybe there are lonesome alienated urbanites who come out here just to check out the boys in blue and their fetching cowboy hats. maybe i have just been solicited and am just not clued in to the sign. maybe i am just suffering from sleep deprivation.
anyway, back to my point. freedoms, freedoms.... how does one write about freedoms in malaysia hari ini? lemme see. some dude died and his family played tug-of-war with members of the religious force because of some words written in some document filed somewhere suddenly unearthed. when it comes to claiming the ummah, intrinsic beauracratic ineffeciency becomes more mythical than god. before you can amen (amin), the jangguts have arrived. then we have someone, not yet dead, just wanting a change in letters. depends on which side of the shadow i guess. crossing over to the dark side.. to the light side. depends who's looking. depends who's holding the chop & pen. so no joy for ms joy, and meanwhile, the congregation can only pray.
some agitated advocates decided to form a band of sisters and brothers, and actually get out of KL to do some public awareness dialogues. they should be awarded! given flowers and praises for their attempt at actually reaching out! but they are told to shut up in a case of mistaken identity. Article 11, Federal Constitution, IFC. ironically, none of the trinity are actually breaching any kinds of law. all legitimate attempts within our social contract to talk about god, baby. let's talk about you and me. they get the gag. they get the ghost. they get the unlucky number and the weed killer. party pooper. so now we all have to shut up, once again. lucky there is a violent war in lebanon to displace our moral righteousness. something to be compassionate about. another venue for us to display our kind and magnanimous malaysia. aku nak muntah.
then they want to monitor the internet. want to control the freedoms that is being practiced kononnya, sewenang-wenangnya. budaya kuning. budaya coklat. budaya maksiat. a couple is charged for not paying bribes. for fingers entwined. a website that republishes an article about women smartening up to sign legal pre-nups are being accused of spreading yet another strain of WDV, western decadence virus. a TV programme that shows young people actually going on dates is another example. datuks and drs threatening to pull all strings and raise this in parliament. malasnya....aku nak layan.
So what can i say about freedoms? The freedom to disengage? The freedom to not give a fuck anymore? The freedom to curse and blog and let the safety of this space neutralise any potential of political impetus from anger? The freedom to pay my way out of this stupid country since I am heralded as pendatang anyway. The freedom to blame everything on race? on class? on penises? The freedom to enjoy the privileges that comes from being Chinese, being in PJ, being a passport holder, being literate, being able to access spaces that can distortedly legitimate? The freedom to use all lack of freedom as an excuse to justify the unproblematised enjoyment of privileges? The freedom to buy ciplak DVDs? The freedom to afford broadband and download adegan lucah dalam muzik berunsur hitam via P2P? The freedom to refuse to read Utusan, NST, The Star, Berita Harian, Harian Metro, Kosmo and Cosmopolitan M'sia? The freedom to buy masturbate to Mastika and have wet dreams about pontianaks with hanging breasts and dangling fingers? The freedom to update my CV and get another job and put it in RHB to earn some interest to borrow some money to get a house to buy a family and maybe a little kitten? The freedom to choose Maxis or Digi? The freedom to choose which kind of Astro package to beli? The freedom to laugh at racist jokes when the last laugh is not aimed at me? The freedom to swerve in traffic jams and undercut slowdrivers who dont have the wit to get off the fast lane? The freedom to engage in privatised road rage? The freedom to take all my lack of freedoms, bunch them in a fist and take them home to my lover's face? The freedom to buy some forgetfulness?
It's past 3am. I have one more hour to come up with some kind of inspiring bullshit. I don't know what is possible. I just want to cackle like a crazy witch and flirt with a coconut tree.