(no subject)
i guess this is like a backdated entry because i wont post it for a few hours. its 4 am and i cant sleep. i should be afraid i think, because i caught people trying to rob us, but im not, i had a sword and i just wasnt afraid . thats not the matter. i am up right now and my mind wont turn off. i am so scared jess. i know for a fact you dont even know youve shown me a whole new world of life. i have so many things that my mind tells me are the sweetest things to say and youre more than deserving to hear them, but my heart wont let me because i need you so badly. i have this song that gets my by the heart when i listen to it, and i sat here and lost myself in your picture and i dont know how many times the song played because all i could think about was how many ways i could use my lips to make your lips smile. there are so many things my heart would be satisfied to do that would involve smothering you absolutely and giving my whole essence as a being to you because if im stupid enough to give it up to anyone, it would be you. . i have so many feelings about you i havent thought of them all, and all the ones ive had... are unique to say the least. if someone asked me if i would fuck you, i couldnt answer them. you and i both know the answer to that. for >.< god knows how many hours. but even if i gave myself a heart attack in an effort to give you like 15 orgasms, you would be smiling, but i would not have proven an inkling of my love. i cant tell you this sentence im trying to get out, i dont know why. i guess im trying to say that some people base their lives on sex, if they cant get laid they dont know what happiness is. when i think of you, i am already happy before i think of sex. i just stabbed the fuck out of my big toe >.< it was an experiment with a light bulb that went too far. blood everywhere. blah. talk about losing ur train of thought. I love you baby and blah fucking puddles i need bandaids.wow my blood is really thick pink. i dont share myself with people like i can with you. your my buddy and you just happen to be amazingly gorgeous. i knew i loved you and had to be near you before you ever sent me a pic, and youre gorgeous baby,i told you before im going to be so romantic to you, i dont care if were in public if my brain blesses me with an excuse to make you smile or blush i will make an ass out of myself to see it through. i cant tell you some of the twisted things id do for you. i need to shutup already. when we live together you will still be finding huge emails like this just cuz if i have a lame job ill get bored and start writing to you. if you want to skip the long text of rambling, all it basically says is I love you. and miss you. and im covered in blood <.>