<.>
its hard to find a clear thought in my head, so many and so little at the same time i dont know where to start or catch one. but i do realize one thing. IF I freak out and become depressed when one of your friends says you kissed a boy, and youre miles away, then i will not be able to manage later on in life. I will not be able to let you be the person you will be. you said yourself that the things that piss me off hardly even matter to you. that is what scares me. once your married, a husband is a boyfriend who is stable, and stable is boring. a husband is a bore. you will end up either a horny housewife waiting around for the pool boy to show up, or you will end up working in an office somewhere surrounded by horny office guys. i know that you are the type of person who would get fed up in holding it in, being horny is natural and you will dispatch of it naturally. i know that i am the type of person that sees being horny as a weakness, and if i am strong i can put it out of my mind. that will put stress on you. all of this unhappiness for my own wife just because i believe in my own ideal of virtue. ive said it before, the best love is a friendship. i can never have a sex kitten waiting for me at home to fall asleep in my arms, because my appetite will not fulfill any other appetite but mine. like wise i can not have a best friend who is also my sex slave. it would make me and her both think that the friendship was based off of sex, and it would ruin our love. there is a balance in the universe, i know it now, and it revolves around picking one side or the other and sticking to it, not stretching it to be the perfect middle. I am never to be married, and if i do fall in love, i will not answer that call. for the love of my friends.