Ugh
I finally got over the breakup, and was able to think clearly about what I need to do. Unfortunately I got hit with a bunch of bills, so I don't think I'll be moving home to California. It's possible I'll move in with my friends here and live for up to a year and a half and possibly move out to Seattle. I don't know yet, I hope I'll understand my situation better later on.
It was surprising how painful it was once it all settled into my mind. I was depressed for a week, and I didn't sleep, eat, or go out much at all. It's painful to hear people mean well and tell you things to comfort you, but it's not quite what's really happening. As I tried to explain to my friends what was happening to the best of my abilities, I feel like I failed to explain how I think it was. I think my friends sometimes has a much too bright idea about me, and I'm a flawed human. I'm glad I didn't have to smoke a pack to get through the day, but I am feeling much much better. I'm glad to have been with someone and love her for over a year, but that was partially what was so painful about it. I do believe it is better this way, and that logical part is taking control again, I just wish I did a lot of things differently, but I think it's still better this way. I've been reading East of Eden again, because the book, and it's lovely characters give me a wonderful distraction and someone to relate to.
It was surprising how painful it was once it all settled into my mind. I was depressed for a week, and I didn't sleep, eat, or go out much at all. It's painful to hear people mean well and tell you things to comfort you, but it's not quite what's really happening. As I tried to explain to my friends what was happening to the best of my abilities, I feel like I failed to explain how I think it was. I think my friends sometimes has a much too bright idea about me, and I'm a flawed human. I'm glad I didn't have to smoke a pack to get through the day, but I am feeling much much better. I'm glad to have been with someone and love her for over a year, but that was partially what was so painful about it. I do believe it is better this way, and that logical part is taking control again, I just wish I did a lot of things differently, but I think it's still better this way. I've been reading East of Eden again, because the book, and it's lovely characters give me a wonderful distraction and someone to relate to.