The Zombie Lobby shall not win!
I applied for a personalized license plate two and a half weeks ago. I got a mail yesterday which said my application was rejected.
So I wrote them an email.
Dear DMV,
I recently attempted to purchase a personalized plate, ZMB KLLR, from the DMV website, and just received a letter that said this plate was unavailable because it was deemed "considered objectionable". I can blame only myself for this, as it appears my efforts to destroy the walking dead have not been sufficient. One of several scenarios must be the cause of my plate's rejection, each of them unthinkable.
1. The pro-undead agenda has infiltrated the Department of Motor Vehicles. If that is the case, then it is only a matter of time before organ donors' names, addresses and vehicular information is disseminated to the zombie population at large. Everyone knows that zombies crave the fresh brains of the living, and the DMV would be handing them a smorgasboard of Romero-like proportion.
2. Zombies are a protected group, meaning that hunting the filthy, shambling corpses of the recently and not-so-recently deceased is a hate crime. This too would mean that the pro-unlife lobby had wormed its way into the highest echelons of our government. If that is the case, then I have many more problems than a rejected personalized license plate and concede the point.
3. The person who processed my plate application is a zombie. If this is the case, I invite them to give me their address so I can thank them personally for their attention.
Failing any of these plausible scenarios, I am left dumbfounded as to any other possible reason my plate was rejected and invite someone to explain.
Thank you for your attention.
Yours in zombie slaying,
Tim McConnaughy
So I wrote them an email.
Dear DMV,
I recently attempted to purchase a personalized plate, ZMB KLLR, from the DMV website, and just received a letter that said this plate was unavailable because it was deemed "considered objectionable". I can blame only myself for this, as it appears my efforts to destroy the walking dead have not been sufficient. One of several scenarios must be the cause of my plate's rejection, each of them unthinkable.
1. The pro-undead agenda has infiltrated the Department of Motor Vehicles. If that is the case, then it is only a matter of time before organ donors' names, addresses and vehicular information is disseminated to the zombie population at large. Everyone knows that zombies crave the fresh brains of the living, and the DMV would be handing them a smorgasboard of Romero-like proportion.
2. Zombies are a protected group, meaning that hunting the filthy, shambling corpses of the recently and not-so-recently deceased is a hate crime. This too would mean that the pro-unlife lobby had wormed its way into the highest echelons of our government. If that is the case, then I have many more problems than a rejected personalized license plate and concede the point.
3. The person who processed my plate application is a zombie. If this is the case, I invite them to give me their address so I can thank them personally for their attention.
Failing any of these plausible scenarios, I am left dumbfounded as to any other possible reason my plate was rejected and invite someone to explain.
Thank you for your attention.
Yours in zombie slaying,
Tim McConnaughy