Segregation Start
Tue has gone full Wakanda.
- Taking advantage of the fact that I have had several altercations with people who … shared the complexion, temperament, and locality of my ex fiancée, I decided to take an offer to stay with someone in Warrensburg, on the other side of the state.
- My black roommate invited me to go to church with the black pastor. The black supervisor hired me. The black woman who I knew in high school talks to me roughly an hour a day every day for three months. I realized that those who are mindlessly combative I could replace absentmindedly.
- The problem I’m facing now is that I’m having trouble reconciling those things. Because of the behaviors of the women who I mentioned before, it’s hard for me to be kind to non-combatant women who come from that background. Or, to be blunt, I’m so used to white women being cruel, it’s hard NOT to be cruel to white women who themselves are NOT cruel.
- Brandi Bear is kind. Sunshine is fun. Snowflake is cute and quirky. Most of Tue’s experiences with white women have been good. However, the experiences that have been bad in the twenty years after high school have ALL involved white women whom he has NOT had a sexual relationship with. So bad, that he’s willing to banish white women as a whole from his future permanently. Leave a spot for the women he just mentioned, take care of the goddaughter, banish the rest. Tue isn’t angry about so-and-so, because who can be bothered to remember their names. Tue is tired. Tue is getting older. Tue is happy to redirect your psychotic ass towards some other white person to make HIS life miserable.
- Tue has been seeing a therapist for months. He didn’t have time before - he was too tied up with those who could go off at any moment, keeping him too miserable to even try to work on it. Tue makes roughly three times the money he made before, because all the brainpower he put into keeping moody people happy he can now put into maintaining employer relationships, and getting better job interviews.
- The last person to tear into my ass did me a long term kindness. How? By being older when she needlessly tore into my ass with untruths for half an hour. I can expect that those white women in their twenties will behave that way in their sixties. The lack of self awareness on their part means I can eliminate them before they can become problematic. It's not like they have minds or souls.
- My backstabbing gay coworker in Alaska? Same thing. Tue doesn't want to give the queers the Handmaiden's Tale treatment (kill them all), but he has no need to interact with them.
- And that's why it's Wakanda for Tue. Remember the white women who felt so entitled to yell false things, or worse yet, not even bother to see if what they are yelling about is true? Tue remembers, years later - even when you're too manic to stop from being cruel. Tue has either found a collection of the most considerate black people in America, or the most mindlessly combative white women in America. Tue expects God himself to tell him, and for the white women around him to never self reflect enough to know. Or be honest enough to tell.
- Tue’s turn away from the abuse isn’t based on him being drunk. It’s based on him being sober.
Tue understands the separation and segregation that events in Oregon, Missouri, and Alaska have made absolutely necessary. May our children live in a better world.