#74 of 100… For the wants and needs of others...
So, I saw the movie Troy last night and had a homosexual moment. When Brad was hittin the Princess and you could see his muscles and ass… I was like “hmmm nice”. Then I was like “IT’S A FUCKIN GUY!!” I had to turn it off for a sec and go do some manly stuff… ya know… get a beer, let out a loud burp and scratch my balls.
Just a thought… every time you're with him I wonder if you'll make it back to me. Every moment you’re away I feel empty… but at the same time full… full of your love and my love for you…
Those of you that have taken the time to get to know me know that I always try and be there for my friends if they’re in need of somewhere to turn or someone to talk to. It’s my personality. I love the feeling I get from being able to help those I care about. But there’s a flip side to all of this…
I’m always the one sacrificing my heart, my wants and needs for others… I have my fears, doubts and hurts as much as the next person but as soon as theirs come out mine get sent to the back of my brain for me to deal with on my own again later… by myself …always later for me and it seems later never comes…
I’m always the one to put my concerns on the backburner in order to save the relationship. I have my wants, my needs, my dreams but as soon as wantin them satisfied threatens the relationship I’m the one that has to let them go… as it seems goodbye seems to be the preferred alternative to helping me with them anyway. You have no idea how many nights I’ve gone to bed crying because of this… It’s just somehow I always fall short of being worthy of them takin the risk needed to wipe away those tears.
I am who I am… I accept these things no matter how they affect me inside. I willingly do these things and expect nothing in return. I’m ok with takin the pressures of others on to my shoulders along with my own. It makes me feel like I’m helping… let’s them know someone cares. I love that…. I love makin people smile… I love givin them a new perspective on things that they night now have seen that maybe makes life a little easier. Doing that makes me smile… makes me feel like my things are gone…
But I do worry… I worry that all this stuff builds up… I don’t know where it goes. I don’t know if there’s a storage limit I need to know about. I worry that one day somethings gonna set me off and I’ll fuckin explode. Worry even more so that it’ll end up in a fight. Its been years since I’ve been in a fight and I will do all I can to avoid one but "I pity the fool" who fights the next fight with me... all this built up anger and pain its gonna be fuckin messy.
I deal with my own issues great… without problems for the most part. For some reason I was blessed with the ability to see things differently then most. Plus helpin others seems to be the best way for me to heal. Puttin a smile on the face of someone who needs it is all the medicine I need. It’s those very few times when my heart gets consumed with love that’s lost when I have the problem but that’s at a level that nobody is safe from.
Anyway this was not a cry to stop… if you need me keep doin what you’re doin… just an inside look is all… as my regulars know I share a lot of things many people keep in… this is something I should probably keep in because I don’t want people to be afraid to come to me now. But this is me… I share.
I needed to make sure everything was crystal clear with lolli before I put this entry up… what’s funny is the subject came up with her before the entry… she even put an entry up as if she was reading my mind… not the first time that’s happened trust me… you wouldn’t believe the connection here.
I said this in her entry and I’ll say it again… I'm here for you everyday, everyway and in everything you do. My hopes and dreams of you are not limited to thoughts of you and I. They extend to everything you are. When you smile... I smile. When you cry... I offer you my shoulder to cry on.
So anyway you’ve heard about em… and now… finally… you get the privilege of seein them for yourself…
Yep there they are in all their glory… The Most Comfortable Jammies in the World!!! 55% cotton, 45% polyester… Machine was cold, tumble dry low!!! Perry Ellis is the Man!!!
#74 of 100… Ana Sofia Henao
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
I’m sorry did you say something… I was watchin a boobie… ummm a movie… Do ya see that fuckin belly button? And that fuckin ass? Daaaaaammmnnn!!!
Ok I’m going back to watch The Matrix Revolutions in Spanish right now. Some fuckin funny shit :o)
This entries Fuck Count = 6
Just a thought… every time you're with him I wonder if you'll make it back to me. Every moment you’re away I feel empty… but at the same time full… full of your love and my love for you…
Those of you that have taken the time to get to know me know that I always try and be there for my friends if they’re in need of somewhere to turn or someone to talk to. It’s my personality. I love the feeling I get from being able to help those I care about. But there’s a flip side to all of this…
I’m always the one sacrificing my heart, my wants and needs for others… I have my fears, doubts and hurts as much as the next person but as soon as theirs come out mine get sent to the back of my brain for me to deal with on my own again later… by myself …always later for me and it seems later never comes…
I’m always the one to put my concerns on the backburner in order to save the relationship. I have my wants, my needs, my dreams but as soon as wantin them satisfied threatens the relationship I’m the one that has to let them go… as it seems goodbye seems to be the preferred alternative to helping me with them anyway. You have no idea how many nights I’ve gone to bed crying because of this… It’s just somehow I always fall short of being worthy of them takin the risk needed to wipe away those tears.
I am who I am… I accept these things no matter how they affect me inside. I willingly do these things and expect nothing in return. I’m ok with takin the pressures of others on to my shoulders along with my own. It makes me feel like I’m helping… let’s them know someone cares. I love that…. I love makin people smile… I love givin them a new perspective on things that they night now have seen that maybe makes life a little easier. Doing that makes me smile… makes me feel like my things are gone…
But I do worry… I worry that all this stuff builds up… I don’t know where it goes. I don’t know if there’s a storage limit I need to know about. I worry that one day somethings gonna set me off and I’ll fuckin explode. Worry even more so that it’ll end up in a fight. Its been years since I’ve been in a fight and I will do all I can to avoid one but "I pity the fool" who fights the next fight with me... all this built up anger and pain its gonna be fuckin messy.
I deal with my own issues great… without problems for the most part. For some reason I was blessed with the ability to see things differently then most. Plus helpin others seems to be the best way for me to heal. Puttin a smile on the face of someone who needs it is all the medicine I need. It’s those very few times when my heart gets consumed with love that’s lost when I have the problem but that’s at a level that nobody is safe from.
Anyway this was not a cry to stop… if you need me keep doin what you’re doin… just an inside look is all… as my regulars know I share a lot of things many people keep in… this is something I should probably keep in because I don’t want people to be afraid to come to me now. But this is me… I share.
I needed to make sure everything was crystal clear with lolli before I put this entry up… what’s funny is the subject came up with her before the entry… she even put an entry up as if she was reading my mind… not the first time that’s happened trust me… you wouldn’t believe the connection here.
I said this in her entry and I’ll say it again… I'm here for you everyday, everyway and in everything you do. My hopes and dreams of you are not limited to thoughts of you and I. They extend to everything you are. When you smile... I smile. When you cry... I offer you my shoulder to cry on.
So anyway you’ve heard about em… and now… finally… you get the privilege of seein them for yourself…
Yep there they are in all their glory… The Most Comfortable Jammies in the World!!! 55% cotton, 45% polyester… Machine was cold, tumble dry low!!! Perry Ellis is the Man!!!
#74 of 100… Ana Sofia Henao
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
I’m sorry did you say something… I was watchin a boobie… ummm a movie… Do ya see that fuckin belly button? And that fuckin ass? Daaaaaammmnnn!!!
Ok I’m going back to watch The Matrix Revolutions in Spanish right now. Some fuckin funny shit :o)
This entries Fuck Count = 6