#81 of 100… This one's gonna leave a huge scar
I woke up this morning and looked out my window and not surprisingly the weather was much like my thoughts this last week or so… foggy. And as it slowly fades away there’s nothing more I can do then to sit and watch. I can’t grab it… I can’t take hold of it. Right through my fingers and all I can fuckin do is watch. This weather was predicted though. I knew it was coming just didn’t know when.
I’ve kept arms length away from everyone so that when they turned and walked away there was little need for more then cordial goodbyes and hopes that for them something positive came from meeting me. Somehow one got by though… ran up full speed and jumped right into my waiting arms… huggin and kissin me.
As I held her there chest to chest our hearts somehow connected. Now as they slowly start to pull away I can feel the burn. Damn! This one… like my first love… is gonna leave a huge scar.
I guess I’ve served my purpose though. I’ve taught her “another reason to believe in it again”… “To smile when I think about love”. What greater satisfaction can someone such as me have then releasing the love of this gorgeous, incredible, passionate woman to the world? She destined for happiness… destined for greatness… who am I to deny the world of that?
The answer to that is quite sad actually… for I am nobody really. I’ve never even touched her skin… never felt her lips… shit I’ve never even heard her voice. So why all these fuckin tears? The people at the office here have never seen me without my smile… everyone’s coming up to me askin me what’s wrong. I think to myself she’s not wrong… she’s right… just our timings a bit off.
I know my purpose here… or at least I’ve defined to myself what I want my purpose to be here. To make people smile. Now to do this at times it takes the building of trust and friendship. It takes a caring ear and a shoulder to cry on. I have absolutely no problem doing that. I love doing that. Allowing people to tell me what hurts them… maybe I have some advice… maybe just some words of encouragement… maybe I simply listen.
They come in usually hurting from a lost boyfriend looking for comfort and understanding. I’m there… I befriend and usually time goes on and heals their hearts. Eventually enough that they find someone else and slowly but surely fade away. Many never to be heard from again and certainly if ever heard from again our relationship has drastically changed in not only how often but in what we share.
I know the final result here though and it never ever varies so I’m well prepared for them… I hurt but it doesn’t last very long but I was not prepared for you. I’m not prepared for the long healing process it would take were I to lose you.
That’s a complete thought right?
Well now that the mood has been set :o) On with the show!!!...
#81 of 100… Martina
LOL umm yea that kinda seemed the right moment to thrown that in there didnt it? One of the finalists of the Maxim Hometown Hotties contest. She’s not the only one from this contest on the countdown. You’ll see Ursala later in the countdown. Dr is coming up much later in the countdown as well… she’s emails me concerned she’s not worthy but where would you put this? Umm her?
This entries Fuck Count = 2
I’ve kept arms length away from everyone so that when they turned and walked away there was little need for more then cordial goodbyes and hopes that for them something positive came from meeting me. Somehow one got by though… ran up full speed and jumped right into my waiting arms… huggin and kissin me.
As I held her there chest to chest our hearts somehow connected. Now as they slowly start to pull away I can feel the burn. Damn! This one… like my first love… is gonna leave a huge scar.
I guess I’ve served my purpose though. I’ve taught her “another reason to believe in it again”… “To smile when I think about love”. What greater satisfaction can someone such as me have then releasing the love of this gorgeous, incredible, passionate woman to the world? She destined for happiness… destined for greatness… who am I to deny the world of that?
The answer to that is quite sad actually… for I am nobody really. I’ve never even touched her skin… never felt her lips… shit I’ve never even heard her voice. So why all these fuckin tears? The people at the office here have never seen me without my smile… everyone’s coming up to me askin me what’s wrong. I think to myself she’s not wrong… she’s right… just our timings a bit off.
I know my purpose here… or at least I’ve defined to myself what I want my purpose to be here. To make people smile. Now to do this at times it takes the building of trust and friendship. It takes a caring ear and a shoulder to cry on. I have absolutely no problem doing that. I love doing that. Allowing people to tell me what hurts them… maybe I have some advice… maybe just some words of encouragement… maybe I simply listen.
They come in usually hurting from a lost boyfriend looking for comfort and understanding. I’m there… I befriend and usually time goes on and heals their hearts. Eventually enough that they find someone else and slowly but surely fade away. Many never to be heard from again and certainly if ever heard from again our relationship has drastically changed in not only how often but in what we share.
I know the final result here though and it never ever varies so I’m well prepared for them… I hurt but it doesn’t last very long but I was not prepared for you. I’m not prepared for the long healing process it would take were I to lose you.
That’s a complete thought right?
Well now that the mood has been set :o) On with the show!!!...
#81 of 100… Martina
LOL umm yea that kinda seemed the right moment to thrown that in there didnt it? One of the finalists of the Maxim Hometown Hotties contest. She’s not the only one from this contest on the countdown. You’ll see Ursala later in the countdown. Dr is coming up much later in the countdown as well… she’s emails me concerned she’s not worthy but where would you put this? Umm her?
This entries Fuck Count = 2