Phase Shift
So I caught one of Richard's notes on Facebook today. You know, it's amazing watching someone progress through the stages after a breakup like his and Ashley's was. It reminds me a ton of how Nancy and I fell apart, which is rather frightening. Basically same scenario, except he and Ashley were still in the same time zone and/or country. I did a lot of the same things he's doing now, writing those bitter letters for everyone to see, playing the victim, seeing fault in his own actions, praising the other guy, etc. It sucks to go through such things, but the actions of the person being bitter usually step a bit too far. He's overstepping much like I did, saying things publicly that should remain private. It's a path bound to piss just about everyone off, save for those closest friends who'll side with you no matter what.
I was once like that, and in some ways I still am. But I'd like to think that I'm beyond the public blowup point. Nowadays I play things a lot closer to the chest than I used to. It's hard, it's so very hard to not just lash out at anything and everything when my love life goes sour, but I'm starting to manage.
Sure it blows to see your ex so emphatically happy with someone else and proclaiming their feelings all over the internet as often as you resent your own, but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet. Things change, sometimes when you don't pay someone enough of the right kind of attention or you both just come to realize that you're just too different or for any other number of reasons, things change. It's just the way things work. Life may get better from that point on, it may also remain miserable, but it does somehow keep going.
Lessons of this final semester:
1. Seriously, don't underestimate the ability of piddly little 10 point assignments to seriously affect your grade.
2. Be honest and open with your other half. God knows I've bombed this one way too much in my time.
3. Try and at least be courteous to others. Don't blast someone for leaving you (unless they cheated, then by all means), but also try and at least wait until the body of the old relationship is cold before jumping "I love you" first into a new one.
4. Timing is everything. Sitting here on my bed, looking back over the past few months, I've been overly patient way too many times. Now this can cause a conflict with #3, but if it's something you've been holding back for the longest time and the first opportunity presents itself, just go for it. Who knows, you may learn something that you didn't know.
5. Buy a giant dry-erase board. Not to write your laundry list of assignments on and therefore constantly remind yourself of why the next few weeks will be among the most miserable of your life, but instead to write a funny "House" quote or to amaze yourself at your amazing dry-erase marker coloring abilities that you picked up while growing up in firehouses.
6. Lastly, if you really want something or someone, you owe it to yourself and to who or whatever to put forth an honest, whole-hearted effort. If it doesn't work out, at least you know that you tried.
I feel for you Richard, but stop being a dick about the whole thing with Ashley. Try and find another way to vent, the internet's not really the best place for such things.
I was once like that, and in some ways I still am. But I'd like to think that I'm beyond the public blowup point. Nowadays I play things a lot closer to the chest than I used to. It's hard, it's so very hard to not just lash out at anything and everything when my love life goes sour, but I'm starting to manage.
Sure it blows to see your ex so emphatically happy with someone else and proclaiming their feelings all over the internet as often as you resent your own, but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet. Things change, sometimes when you don't pay someone enough of the right kind of attention or you both just come to realize that you're just too different or for any other number of reasons, things change. It's just the way things work. Life may get better from that point on, it may also remain miserable, but it does somehow keep going.
Lessons of this final semester:
1. Seriously, don't underestimate the ability of piddly little 10 point assignments to seriously affect your grade.
2. Be honest and open with your other half. God knows I've bombed this one way too much in my time.
3. Try and at least be courteous to others. Don't blast someone for leaving you (unless they cheated, then by all means), but also try and at least wait until the body of the old relationship is cold before jumping "I love you" first into a new one.
4. Timing is everything. Sitting here on my bed, looking back over the past few months, I've been overly patient way too many times. Now this can cause a conflict with #3, but if it's something you've been holding back for the longest time and the first opportunity presents itself, just go for it. Who knows, you may learn something that you didn't know.
5. Buy a giant dry-erase board. Not to write your laundry list of assignments on and therefore constantly remind yourself of why the next few weeks will be among the most miserable of your life, but instead to write a funny "House" quote or to amaze yourself at your amazing dry-erase marker coloring abilities that you picked up while growing up in firehouses.
6. Lastly, if you really want something or someone, you owe it to yourself and to who or whatever to put forth an honest, whole-hearted effort. If it doesn't work out, at least you know that you tried.
I feel for you Richard, but stop being a dick about the whole thing with Ashley. Try and find another way to vent, the internet's not really the best place for such things.