Upon recovery from the annual Boston student migration...
Thank you, Northeasterners. Your wasteful lifestyle has given me, via the trash you piled all over my street indiscriminately, the following treasures:
-1 pair unworn, pesudo-pointy-toed black leather Aldos, exactly my size.
-3 Boomtown Rats LPs from 1977, 1979 and 1980 respectively.
-2 shelving units: one tall, skinny and stainless steel for my bathroom, one short, wide and unfinished wood for my bedroom.
-1 antique China tea cup with a hyacinth pattern.
-1 black plastic rotating cd shelf suitable for 100 cds.
You offered so much more, but my apartment is only so large and many were items I had no need for.
Though your brash attempts at establishing early pack dominance are loud and rather boring, I do enjoy watching you get hassled and arrested by the local rent-a-cops with complete disregard and/or unawareness of what to do and what your rights are in these situations.
In closing, thank you again for the trash and the street performance. You can go the fuck home now.