A rough entry

[jfgenius]

What are people looking for? In a time of tight politics, strong sentences, and reshaped youth people seem a bit lost. The 'next issue' is the tangible thing we all want to hold onto. Strong thoughts on how our future is going to turn out. Gay or not, the youth of today seem to be stuck at a cusp. Some have broken loose, we feel years of fear

Comments

[ate86]

I guess its just the look on the face of a boy when I tell him how many Ive people been with. I dont like the fact I have given myself away to be used, and to use others in return. I dont want to be disappointed in myself, or make excuses for myself so I dont feel like a slut at the end of the day.

And physically clean, does not mean that your inner self has not been tainted differently from the emotional baggage you slowly but surely accumulate from the multiple hook ups. It wears on you, even if you dont realize it right away. It sounds as though you think the problem is that theres nothing wrong with being a slut to begin with. From what I read, you question the rules that were put up to begin with which says its not wrong to sleep around. And yeah, I can see your viewpoint and concerns. Im aware I wouldnt feel so ashamed if the way the world percieved sex was different. At the same time, now that I am here, 28 guys later. I dont feel relieved. I dont feel satisfied. I dont feel happy. And thats no reflection of how I think the world views me, its just how I view myself. I told a boy the other day my number, and he was upset that I had had treated myself with such disrespect and I had to sympathize and appologize to him that he was getting the 28 guys later version of me.

In response to your comment above, some of the most disgusting displays of humanity, probably felt right at the time. But, from behind jail cells, or in the last moments of their life, some people come to terms that some things, are simply just mistakes.