anyone know where i can get happiness in a bottle?
yesterday feels like tomorrow and tomorrow feels like today.
One day i feel fine and the next i just dont know..
well what has happened to me as of late..
well i struggled w/ a cocain problem for just about 2 years hurt the one girl that i know loved me w/ all her heart i left florida to try and start a life for her and i in ohio i left her in florida and told her i would get her up there as soon as i got my CDL and start driving.
well i was up there for 1 month and she calls me and tells me she got a truck w/ a huge payment that i could not afford to pay and she said she could not get transfered to anystore up there at full time so we could not get her up there. so i got pissed and told her to just stay in florida and that i needed time to think and figgure out what i wanted to do.
then my room mate wreckes my car and did not even have a job to help me pay the 1000.00 to get it back then about a month later i decided that i just would go back to florida to be w/ the girl and she was excited and i was under the impression that we were back togather i mean she told me that she was my girl again and that she loved me and missed me.
she even sent me 600 bucks to help me get my car back so i could get back faster.
then i find out she is talking to this guy and she claims they are just friends nothing more and i knew better and she told me that we would talk and work on things when i got back.
i get back and she is all well i dont want to hurt him and i have never been so happy blah blah blah. i mean can i blame her? i was nasty to her for a long time while i was on the drugs.
i know i did this to my self but i feel so hurt by her because she could not be upfront w/ me about the whole thing i feel the only reason she lied to me is so i would come back and she could move out of my moms house and not leave her stuck w/ all the bills. i mean i was coming back anyways because i was not happy w/ all the shit i was dealing w/ in ohio and being over the road truck driver.
now im looking for a job and not haveing very good luck. im confused about everything and in my hearts of hearts all i want is to feel her touch and for her to be w/ me. but i know deap down that will prolly never happen.
i wish there was something i could say to her to make her forgive me and take me back but there is no such thing.
is it better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all i question that everyday.
but im clean now and im a different person. am i happy? i am more now then i have been in a long time.
I know this much ill never treat another girl the way i treated her..
One day i feel fine and the next i just dont know..
well what has happened to me as of late..
well i struggled w/ a cocain problem for just about 2 years hurt the one girl that i know loved me w/ all her heart i left florida to try and start a life for her and i in ohio i left her in florida and told her i would get her up there as soon as i got my CDL and start driving.
well i was up there for 1 month and she calls me and tells me she got a truck w/ a huge payment that i could not afford to pay and she said she could not get transfered to anystore up there at full time so we could not get her up there. so i got pissed and told her to just stay in florida and that i needed time to think and figgure out what i wanted to do.
then my room mate wreckes my car and did not even have a job to help me pay the 1000.00 to get it back then about a month later i decided that i just would go back to florida to be w/ the girl and she was excited and i was under the impression that we were back togather i mean she told me that she was my girl again and that she loved me and missed me.
she even sent me 600 bucks to help me get my car back so i could get back faster.
then i find out she is talking to this guy and she claims they are just friends nothing more and i knew better and she told me that we would talk and work on things when i got back.
i get back and she is all well i dont want to hurt him and i have never been so happy blah blah blah. i mean can i blame her? i was nasty to her for a long time while i was on the drugs.
i know i did this to my self but i feel so hurt by her because she could not be upfront w/ me about the whole thing i feel the only reason she lied to me is so i would come back and she could move out of my moms house and not leave her stuck w/ all the bills. i mean i was coming back anyways because i was not happy w/ all the shit i was dealing w/ in ohio and being over the road truck driver.
now im looking for a job and not haveing very good luck. im confused about everything and in my hearts of hearts all i want is to feel her touch and for her to be w/ me. but i know deap down that will prolly never happen.
i wish there was something i could say to her to make her forgive me and take me back but there is no such thing.
is it better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all i question that everyday.
but im clean now and im a different person. am i happy? i am more now then i have been in a long time.
I know this much ill never treat another girl the way i treated her..