I'm home from my second surgery this month and I'm probably better, done with hospitals, brain surgery, and lumbar taps. I'm healing. I'm getting better. I can see that
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I know what you were going through, when I was in hospital for 9 months, the first 4 weeks I was in ICU, they had my family in three times for the 'we don't think she's going to make it, come and say your goodbyes' and each time I rallied, just that little bit more.
But what I remember from that is the dreams I was having while I was basically so out of it that it was almost a coma, I was trapped in these never ending dreams, endlessly replaying in my head, and I couldn't get through to anyone, I knew they were there but I couldn't make anyone understand me, or help me, all I wanted was to be out of these endless repetitive scary dreams.
I wanted them to wake me up, so I could stop dreaming/hallucinating, when they finally did let me wake up properly I was too damned scared to go to sleep again for weeks, because I would dream the same dreams and this time I knew that I would never wake up.
Even now some three years later I still can't sleep properly, I have nightmares/flashbacks/mini hallucinations and endless dreams about still being in hospital and still being trapped.
I know what you were going through, when I was in hospital for 9 months, the first 4 weeks I was in ICU, they had my family in three times for the 'we don't think she's going to make it, come and say your goodbyes' and each time I rallied, just that little bit more.
But what I remember from that is the dreams I was having while I was basically so out of it that it was almost a coma, I was trapped in these never ending dreams, endlessly replaying in my head, and I couldn't get through to anyone, I knew they were there but I couldn't make anyone understand me, or help me, all I wanted was to be out of these endless repetitive scary dreams.
I wanted them to wake me up, so I could stop dreaming/hallucinating, when they finally did let me wake up properly I was too damned scared to go to sleep again for weeks, because I would dream the same dreams and this time I knew that I would never wake up.
Even now some three years later I still can't sleep properly, I have nightmares/flashbacks/mini hallucinations and endless dreams about still being in hospital and still being trapped.
I would not wish those feelings on anyone, ever.
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