Don’t care about all the pain in front of me cause I’m just trying to be happy...
I’m here looking out my window, watching the rain fall. Tomorrow is the last day of 2009 and I have a lot to mull over. You can call it my final assessment of the past year.
I think from the beginning of this year I never knew what to expect so looking back on what has happened made me realize a few things.
What hurts you makes you stronger. I think this year was such an emotional rollercoaster for me. There were times I felt content. There were times I felt like a failure. There were times I felt that the love I felt for one person will never be enough to change circumstance and attitude; that my love was never enough. There would always be something missing in the equation. Where I used to feel like I didn’t have to yearn for my past, I realize I do simply as a means of comfort. Even if I turn the world upside down, try to change for the better, make as much effort as possible, I know to him I will never be enough. I’m not sure when that will change. I’m not sure if that’ll change at all. As of right now I will continue my efforts to be a supportive and loving girlfriend no matter the current circumstances. I was raised to be a strong individual, to be a pillar of strength when there is none in sight. I say what hurts me makes me stronger and what this relationship, despite the hurts, has taught me is to become stronger. What is important is that I myself am enough for me.
Love is simple. Fear complicates it. I think over time the fears that have shadowed me have been slowly fading. I realize that what is important is the love I have, not the love I fear of losing. I realize that I need to remove the fear in order to move on.
Relationships are hard to maintain. What I’ve learned is that relationships need a lot of work to maintain, whether it’s romantic or platonic. It is itself an evolving process which takes more than one person and that awareness is key to its growth and strength.
Learn to dance in the rain. Despite problems we need to learn to work through them with as much positive energy as possible. I know it was difficult for me to see the positive in a lot of things but with constant effort I was able to move forward instead of giving up.
J’aime et j’espere. I love and I hope. I believe these words are what keep me going on a day to day basis. I love and will continue loving. I hope for a better tomorrow. I believe that I can carry that to the upcoming year with as much fervor and effort as I am able.
Happy New Year to all! See you in 2010!
I think from the beginning of this year I never knew what to expect so looking back on what has happened made me realize a few things.
What hurts you makes you stronger. I think this year was such an emotional rollercoaster for me. There were times I felt content. There were times I felt like a failure. There were times I felt that the love I felt for one person will never be enough to change circumstance and attitude; that my love was never enough. There would always be something missing in the equation. Where I used to feel like I didn’t have to yearn for my past, I realize I do simply as a means of comfort. Even if I turn the world upside down, try to change for the better, make as much effort as possible, I know to him I will never be enough. I’m not sure when that will change. I’m not sure if that’ll change at all. As of right now I will continue my efforts to be a supportive and loving girlfriend no matter the current circumstances. I was raised to be a strong individual, to be a pillar of strength when there is none in sight. I say what hurts me makes me stronger and what this relationship, despite the hurts, has taught me is to become stronger. What is important is that I myself am enough for me.
Love is simple. Fear complicates it. I think over time the fears that have shadowed me have been slowly fading. I realize that what is important is the love I have, not the love I fear of losing. I realize that I need to remove the fear in order to move on.
Relationships are hard to maintain. What I’ve learned is that relationships need a lot of work to maintain, whether it’s romantic or platonic. It is itself an evolving process which takes more than one person and that awareness is key to its growth and strength.
Learn to dance in the rain. Despite problems we need to learn to work through them with as much positive energy as possible. I know it was difficult for me to see the positive in a lot of things but with constant effort I was able to move forward instead of giving up.
J’aime et j’espere. I love and I hope. I believe these words are what keep me going on a day to day basis. I love and will continue loving. I hope for a better tomorrow. I believe that I can carry that to the upcoming year with as much fervor and effort as I am able.
Happy New Year to all! See you in 2010!