A birthday gift
A dream I had a day after I turned 21
I am wearing a white dress again, walking along a sidewalk towards a particular house. I’ve been in that house before. I walk into it, maneuvering my way through the hallways. It’s really quiet, except for the sound of footsteps coming from one room. I recognize the room and walk in. I see the same little boy, but this time he is not crying. He looks up from his position on the floor and for some reason he was not surprised to see me.
“You’re back. I’ve been waiting for you.”
I frown. “You have?”
He nods and goes back to his toy. He does not seem like the little boy I knew from the first time. He seemed wiser beyond his age. It was the way he talked to me. It felt more grown up.
“You remember me?” I ask. I walk and sit right in front of him.
He looks up at me and his eyes seem to go right through me. As if he was trying to memorize something.
“It’s your face.”
“My face?”
He keeps looking right into my eyes. “I don’t remember a lot of things but there is something about your face I can’t forget. It’s like my mind needs to remember you.”
“But what if you don’t remember me?”
“I’ll always remember you.”
I smile, quite flattered that a little boy was talking to me this way.
He smiles and turns away, taking a box out of his pocket and handing it to me.
“Happy Birthday.”
I hold the box, surprised he knew. “How did you know it was my birthday?”
He does not say anything but gives me a small smile. I look down and open the box. In it was a necklace. It had two charms, traced in cubic zirconia. One was a heart and the other was a star. They were intertwined together.
“This is for me?” I asked. He takes the necklace out of the box and starts to place it onto my neck. He leans over and whispers as if telling a secret.
“If I were to find my way, would you come back to me?”
Not understanding what he meant, I turn around but find myself outside on a porch alone. It's night but the stars are all out and the sky was clear. I felt at ease and by instinct I touched my neck and found the necklace still there. I smile and remember the little boy. I begin to feel someone watching me but I don't feel threatened. I turn my head to the left where the doorway was and there stood Brian wearing a black dress shirt and dark jeans. He was leaning against the doorway just watching me.
I didn't know what to say. "Hi" was all that I could say.
He grinned and came walking towards me. "Good evening."
He stopped right in front of me but I turned to look at the sky. He asked, "What's wrong?"
"I don't like the way you look at me."
He chuckled. "I can't look at you?"
I continued to stare at the sky. “Not that way.”
He comes up close to me and I could feel his breath against my ear. “But I always look at you this way.”
I turn to look at him and see a soft smile there. He reaches over to move a strand of my hair and places it behind my ear. I could feel the vulnerability in me start to stir when his eyes gaze into mine. It felt like fire. I’m no stranger to the feeling. It always feels like this. Every single time he’s around.
His eyes grow serious. “I’m sorry.”
My eyes continue to search his. “For what?”
I watch as he cups my face in his hands. “For making you think I forgot your birthday.”
My face tries to register his words as his eyes fall down to where my new necklace hung on my neck. His fingers touch the intertwined charms. “A heart and a star..one helps lead the other to its rightful place,” he murmurs.
I thought about it for a moment. “But sometimes the heart gets lost.”
He nodded sadly. “Sometimes. But one day that heart will find its way back to where it is supposed to be.”
His eyes slowly met mine again and they were filled with a strained hope that I wished were real.
“If I were to find my way, would you come back to me?”
I let that question linger in the air as I felt the warm tears start to fall down my cheeks and watched as his thumbs gently brushed them all away.
I woke up at that moment with warm tears in my eyes. I couldn’t sleep anymore.
I am wearing a white dress again, walking along a sidewalk towards a particular house. I’ve been in that house before. I walk into it, maneuvering my way through the hallways. It’s really quiet, except for the sound of footsteps coming from one room. I recognize the room and walk in. I see the same little boy, but this time he is not crying. He looks up from his position on the floor and for some reason he was not surprised to see me.
“You’re back. I’ve been waiting for you.”
I frown. “You have?”
He nods and goes back to his toy. He does not seem like the little boy I knew from the first time. He seemed wiser beyond his age. It was the way he talked to me. It felt more grown up.
“You remember me?” I ask. I walk and sit right in front of him.
He looks up at me and his eyes seem to go right through me. As if he was trying to memorize something.
“It’s your face.”
“My face?”
He keeps looking right into my eyes. “I don’t remember a lot of things but there is something about your face I can’t forget. It’s like my mind needs to remember you.”
“But what if you don’t remember me?”
“I’ll always remember you.”
I smile, quite flattered that a little boy was talking to me this way.
He smiles and turns away, taking a box out of his pocket and handing it to me.
“Happy Birthday.”
I hold the box, surprised he knew. “How did you know it was my birthday?”
He does not say anything but gives me a small smile. I look down and open the box. In it was a necklace. It had two charms, traced in cubic zirconia. One was a heart and the other was a star. They were intertwined together.
“This is for me?” I asked. He takes the necklace out of the box and starts to place it onto my neck. He leans over and whispers as if telling a secret.
“If I were to find my way, would you come back to me?”
Not understanding what he meant, I turn around but find myself outside on a porch alone. It's night but the stars are all out and the sky was clear. I felt at ease and by instinct I touched my neck and found the necklace still there. I smile and remember the little boy. I begin to feel someone watching me but I don't feel threatened. I turn my head to the left where the doorway was and there stood Brian wearing a black dress shirt and dark jeans. He was leaning against the doorway just watching me.
I didn't know what to say. "Hi" was all that I could say.
He grinned and came walking towards me. "Good evening."
He stopped right in front of me but I turned to look at the sky. He asked, "What's wrong?"
"I don't like the way you look at me."
He chuckled. "I can't look at you?"
I continued to stare at the sky. “Not that way.”
He comes up close to me and I could feel his breath against my ear. “But I always look at you this way.”
I turn to look at him and see a soft smile there. He reaches over to move a strand of my hair and places it behind my ear. I could feel the vulnerability in me start to stir when his eyes gaze into mine. It felt like fire. I’m no stranger to the feeling. It always feels like this. Every single time he’s around.
His eyes grow serious. “I’m sorry.”
My eyes continue to search his. “For what?”
I watch as he cups my face in his hands. “For making you think I forgot your birthday.”
My face tries to register his words as his eyes fall down to where my new necklace hung on my neck. His fingers touch the intertwined charms. “A heart and a star..one helps lead the other to its rightful place,” he murmurs.
I thought about it for a moment. “But sometimes the heart gets lost.”
He nodded sadly. “Sometimes. But one day that heart will find its way back to where it is supposed to be.”
His eyes slowly met mine again and they were filled with a strained hope that I wished were real.
“If I were to find my way, would you come back to me?”
I let that question linger in the air as I felt the warm tears start to fall down my cheeks and watched as his thumbs gently brushed them all away.
I woke up at that moment with warm tears in my eyes. I couldn’t sleep anymore.