my new found spirituality
Had a little chat with God on http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html
Me: how many of you are there?
God:Perhaps 50%.
Me: hmmm, so all those monotheists are full of freaking crap
God:It's all good.
Me: I kinda picture you looking like a gay black patrick swayze in saturday night fever (except female of course). Am I close?
God:It goes without saying.
Me: so you are a homosexual
God: Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am attracted to the opposite sex.
Me: do you have sex?
God: Food is more important than sex.
Me: are premarital blow jobs really wrong?
God: I like them. Couldn't really say for sure though.
Me: so that's a no?
God: Ah. A no is a terrible thing to waste.
Me: do you eat?
God: I eat wine and bread.
Me: You're a vegetarian!!!
God: Go on.
Me: and an alcoholic!!!
God: I have never heard of an alcoholic, but I must be.
Me: do you drink beer?
God: Dude!I am amazed by the wide variety of beers available nowadays.
Me: what's your favorite type?
God: I don't have a favorite type. I like Random natural disasters..
Me: hmm, never heard of that beer
Me: do you smoke pot?
God: Only for medical testing purposes.
Me: do you know george w. bush?
God: he is President of the United States.
Me: he's a douche bag
God: I don't know very many douche bags, but he truly is.
Me: are you a liberal?
God: Am I a liberal? Hell yeah!
Me: amen
God: Thanks for the prayer.
Me: how many of you are there?
God:Perhaps 50%.
Me: hmmm, so all those monotheists are full of freaking crap
God:It's all good.
Me: I kinda picture you looking like a gay black patrick swayze in saturday night fever (except female of course). Am I close?
God:It goes without saying.
Me: so you are a homosexual
God: Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am attracted to the opposite sex.
Me: do you have sex?
God: Food is more important than sex.
Me: are premarital blow jobs really wrong?
God: I like them. Couldn't really say for sure though.
Me: so that's a no?
God: Ah. A no is a terrible thing to waste.
Me: do you eat?
God: I eat wine and bread.
Me: You're a vegetarian!!!
God: Go on.
Me: and an alcoholic!!!
God: I have never heard of an alcoholic, but I must be.
Me: do you drink beer?
God: Dude!I am amazed by the wide variety of beers available nowadays.
Me: what's your favorite type?
God: I don't have a favorite type. I like Random natural disasters..
Me: hmm, never heard of that beer
Me: do you smoke pot?
God: Only for medical testing purposes.
Me: do you know george w. bush?
God: he is President of the United States.
Me: he's a douche bag
God: I don't know very many douche bags, but he truly is.
Me: are you a liberal?
God: Am I a liberal? Hell yeah!
Me: amen
God: Thanks for the prayer.