Without Love
You know, I don't normally post such things, but today I realized when talking to my friend Aly how lonely I am. Our conversation made me cry. Just to think of all the men out there and we happen to find the ones that only want to fuck us. The guys that really want us? Not even interested... because there is that brotherly sort of friendship going on.
I normally want the one person I will never have. Not because they are gorgeous or because they are with someone else. The one person I truly learn to trust enough to try and have a relationship with? The one person I would never confess to. The one person I would probably avoid the most or scare me. I hate it. Such insecurities are so hard to drop and long to drop them. Oh~ How I long to drop them.
No, I'm not desperate for love. I love my art enough to not even try and look for a man to fill those lonesome desires.
I don't want a boy who makes his feelings obvious the first night. For once... I would like to find someone who is like me. I have come to find that I cannot be with my counterpart. At least, not with someone who seems to be worlds away. I don't know what I am looking for. Its really hard to say. To even think sometimes. Why I am even writing this is sort of pathetic. At least in my eyes, but I guess written thoughts are sometimes best.
One day I will find someone to genuinely love me. Not puppy love or that hopeful wishing of togetherness. That person who will bring about a genuine smile and for once, when they hug me, I won't feel compelled to hug them back. It will just be natural. I would feel safe. How sad, fairy tales don't exist. Where is my Prince Charming?
I normally want the one person I will never have. Not because they are gorgeous or because they are with someone else. The one person I truly learn to trust enough to try and have a relationship with? The one person I would never confess to. The one person I would probably avoid the most or scare me. I hate it. Such insecurities are so hard to drop and long to drop them. Oh~ How I long to drop them.
No, I'm not desperate for love. I love my art enough to not even try and look for a man to fill those lonesome desires.
I don't want a boy who makes his feelings obvious the first night. For once... I would like to find someone who is like me. I have come to find that I cannot be with my counterpart. At least, not with someone who seems to be worlds away. I don't know what I am looking for. Its really hard to say. To even think sometimes. Why I am even writing this is sort of pathetic. At least in my eyes, but I guess written thoughts are sometimes best.
One day I will find someone to genuinely love me. Not puppy love or that hopeful wishing of togetherness. That person who will bring about a genuine smile and for once, when they hug me, I won't feel compelled to hug them back. It will just be natural. I would feel safe. How sad, fairy tales don't exist. Where is my Prince Charming?