thoughts from a nomad.

[jezi]

so i have 9days left. Then i leave this place. I guess there are all sorts of feelings running through my head. I am glad to go. There is alot of drama around here. I caused most of it myself. See, if i see anything in a guy that is kinda what i want, well then i want that guy in my life. The problem is I have yet to meet a guy who has allll those qualities. Shawn is great, he's so old fashioned and pays for everything and takes care of me. However, my sister would shoot me if i continued to hang out with him. Kev's a nice guy. I love the way he looks at me, but all together he really doesnt have what i am looking for. It's kinda weird, i dunno.

I just need to go back to being myself again. I forget so easily that I dont need a man in my life. Then i dissapear for a week or to, get completely intangled in something, then remember who i am and have to walk away. However, this time i am moving so i will really be walking away from it.

I want to be this person, but i dont know who it is. I have a hundred differnt things pulling on me all at once. Ususally i could go to church and that would help set me in the right path, but church really doesn't do that for me anymore. I hope that when i get to flagstaff that my new church whereever it is, will be able to do that for me. I jsut need a place to refuel what it is that i believe in. I dunno...

lots to think about.
love you all an happy new years...