thing i have realized due to nostalgia
the theme of my life for the past few months or year actually has been: nostalgia
its a bitch
but usually is supposed to be learned from
once again, i have had another person from my past enter my life.
he actually is awesomely awesome
so much that i have learned something
something very important
i shouldnt have to chase my love down
he should come to me
he should come to me willingly
he should come to me suprisingly
he should come without me having to beg
that is awesome. i think its huge. its a huge realization for me. realizing i have gone to them. everyone who i have wanted to spend time with, be with, i took the first step and went to them.
the night we met, he even came to me. he stepped up to me and talked to me.
he came into town to see me.
he told me he couldnt come.
he suprised me and came anyway--one of my fondest memories, if not the fondest.
that and the hugs. i loved the hugs.
i feel as if life has been testing me, trying to teach me something by bringing these people back into my life. i dont know exactly what i was supposed to learn from some people. at least, it didnt take me long to learn that.
i suppose another thing learned is to not back away from something that you have always wanted to do out of fear of what may happen. fear has stopped me from amazing experiences.
another thing i have learned has been i am beautiful good and bad. anyone that tells me i need to change or makes me feel like i need to change to suit their idea of how a person should be does not need to be around me. they are toxic to my very existence. that was huge.
i feel as if there should be more.
perhaps if i think on it more, i will figure it out.
its a bitch
but usually is supposed to be learned from
once again, i have had another person from my past enter my life.
he actually is awesomely awesome
so much that i have learned something
something very important
i shouldnt have to chase my love down
he should come to me
he should come to me willingly
he should come to me suprisingly
he should come without me having to beg
that is awesome. i think its huge. its a huge realization for me. realizing i have gone to them. everyone who i have wanted to spend time with, be with, i took the first step and went to them.
the night we met, he even came to me. he stepped up to me and talked to me.
he came into town to see me.
he told me he couldnt come.
he suprised me and came anyway--one of my fondest memories, if not the fondest.
that and the hugs. i loved the hugs.
i feel as if life has been testing me, trying to teach me something by bringing these people back into my life. i dont know exactly what i was supposed to learn from some people. at least, it didnt take me long to learn that.
i suppose another thing learned is to not back away from something that you have always wanted to do out of fear of what may happen. fear has stopped me from amazing experiences.
another thing i have learned has been i am beautiful good and bad. anyone that tells me i need to change or makes me feel like i need to change to suit their idea of how a person should be does not need to be around me. they are toxic to my very existence. that was huge.
i feel as if there should be more.
perhaps if i think on it more, i will figure it out.