as i was walking out my closet...

[jezebeltrnqlzd]

i have been trying to figure out for a long time how i can use my talents to make money. it seems so simple and yet so difficult. my life has been crippled most of my life searching for a connection. the connection, in reality, is inside of me. i hold a collection of natural talents that i can throw together somehow. i have notebooks and notebooks of my ramblings. my emotional ramblings. there are blogs and blogs of my ramblings. i havent even had the thought of that alone to be interesting. i mean, i have said, and even wrote a few pages about my life. i realized i have already written a lot of it. i have always been very private about certain things. im open and private at the same time. there are a few parts that are missing, of which i can write about, at least what i remember. i do doodle-sketches with my writing. thats not even taking into consideration of the work i do seperately in that are. i am yet to be sure what i will do with my ability with the tarot cards. i think i need to study them more. ive been studying them for years, but if i refresh my memories, learn how each card is reflected back at me and why. oh there are so many many things i can work on. there are so many many things that ive already worked on without realizing it :) i am so happy that this is a lighthearted post compared to the past few. i just remembered something that i had forgotten. the reason im ok being alone; to focus more on my son, my writing, my art. bring it all together into a somewhat interesting read. ive had someone that knows very little about me, and is very different from me tell me he'd read a book about my life. ha, how many other people that dont know who i am would stumble across it as a good read. would a company print it? i do not know. but its something i can do. perhaps in the meantime get a real job, probably try to find a way to sale my tarot card readings that is a lot cheaper than others. everyone is interested if only to test and see if the cards are accurate. curiousity. well, its not something i havent thought of before, i just kinda planned it differently. as i was walking through my closet after laying my son down, i looked at my new painting, rolled up a belt, saw my notebook and snagged it because i planned on writing in it. then i thought about all of this.

as jimmy would say: yea dawg