Motherhood and you...
Some days I feel glorious to be a mom. I feel like a queen, like a benevolent goddess with adoring supplicants, like the bearer of wisdom... today, not so much.
Today, I feel like the disshelved, completely stupefied, absolutely harried mother. Complete with preschooler who asserts his individuality in the oddest ways. I preface my next statement with this: Aidan is potty trained. Completely and totally. Has been for the last year. So why, this night, he decided to pee in the garbage can in the bathroom is beyond me. Typing up info for a pre-reg sheet for an SCA event, he comes to me at the computer and smiles. "I did it..." "Did what, honey?" "I peed in the garbage can!" At which point I freak out and cry WHAT! at about the level of a jet plane. He seems stricken that this is a bad idea and upset that I would consider it horrific.
Now, I monitor his television. He knows about only peeing in the potty, even holds it if someone else is on the pot. I have no freaking clue where peeing in things comes from. Maybe it's an extension of the "I have a penis, must pee on stuff" thing. I'm not sure entirely. But he sits in his room now, knowing that it's bad to pee in garbage cans as the mini-Fran Drescher in my head still whines "Wh-h-hy?"
Today, before that, I had cause to feel pretty damn good about myself. I went to a friend's baby shower and was told my ex (hubby of babymama we were showering) misses his "Carrie-time." Said bastard dropped me like a hot potato 6 years ago, so I had to laugh. But I promised Amber(babymama) that I'd come down and we'd go babystuff shopping. I had a damn fun time and realized how much I miss the camaraderie of the girls. Before I had SCA I had the girls. We all hung together, got pregnant at the same time (within 9 months 4 of us had buns) and knew lots about each other. We shared storylines, had dated each others exes and had way too much history. Which made us good friends. Life, distance and kids had us drift apart, but we still maintain touch. Which brings me to my point. I had a connection today that wasn't uneasy, didn't have awkwardness and was forged through lots and lots of experience. It was nice to just be me and hang out.
Then, I met someone for coffee and talked about a great many things. I found a new someone I appreciate for her sensibilities, fun and outlook. I'm looking forward to working with her on things and doing basketry with her. I think it'll be fun.
I kinda had a "one is silver and the other gold" moment.
I lamented the fact that I lost a friend through my words, but understand that some bridges can't be repaired. Besides, who wants to spend too much time with someone SO much like themselves. It stings a little, but I've accepted that there are reasons everything happens.
So, life goes on, I miss being youthful and wild but adore my practical and amazing husband. My child who is so unfathomable at times is a blessing in many ways. Sometimes the tearing your hair out way. Friends come and go in our lives, true friendships sustain many things, even hurt and tears. And I have a job to do and laundry to catch up...
Peace, my peeps, I'm outta here!
Today, I feel like the disshelved, completely stupefied, absolutely harried mother. Complete with preschooler who asserts his individuality in the oddest ways. I preface my next statement with this: Aidan is potty trained. Completely and totally. Has been for the last year. So why, this night, he decided to pee in the garbage can in the bathroom is beyond me. Typing up info for a pre-reg sheet for an SCA event, he comes to me at the computer and smiles. "I did it..." "Did what, honey?" "I peed in the garbage can!" At which point I freak out and cry WHAT! at about the level of a jet plane. He seems stricken that this is a bad idea and upset that I would consider it horrific.
Now, I monitor his television. He knows about only peeing in the potty, even holds it if someone else is on the pot. I have no freaking clue where peeing in things comes from. Maybe it's an extension of the "I have a penis, must pee on stuff" thing. I'm not sure entirely. But he sits in his room now, knowing that it's bad to pee in garbage cans as the mini-Fran Drescher in my head still whines "Wh-h-hy?"
Today, before that, I had cause to feel pretty damn good about myself. I went to a friend's baby shower and was told my ex (hubby of babymama we were showering) misses his "Carrie-time." Said bastard dropped me like a hot potato 6 years ago, so I had to laugh. But I promised Amber(babymama) that I'd come down and we'd go babystuff shopping. I had a damn fun time and realized how much I miss the camaraderie of the girls. Before I had SCA I had the girls. We all hung together, got pregnant at the same time (within 9 months 4 of us had buns) and knew lots about each other. We shared storylines, had dated each others exes and had way too much history. Which made us good friends. Life, distance and kids had us drift apart, but we still maintain touch. Which brings me to my point. I had a connection today that wasn't uneasy, didn't have awkwardness and was forged through lots and lots of experience. It was nice to just be me and hang out.
Then, I met someone for coffee and talked about a great many things. I found a new someone I appreciate for her sensibilities, fun and outlook. I'm looking forward to working with her on things and doing basketry with her. I think it'll be fun.
I kinda had a "one is silver and the other gold" moment.
I lamented the fact that I lost a friend through my words, but understand that some bridges can't be repaired. Besides, who wants to spend too much time with someone SO much like themselves. It stings a little, but I've accepted that there are reasons everything happens.
So, life goes on, I miss being youthful and wild but adore my practical and amazing husband. My child who is so unfathomable at times is a blessing in many ways. Sometimes the tearing your hair out way. Friends come and go in our lives, true friendships sustain many things, even hurt and tears. And I have a job to do and laundry to catch up...
Peace, my peeps, I'm outta here!