2005 in a word.....or ten :)
well 2005 was a huge year, a painful year, a year of difficulties and a year of immense healing but most of all it was a year of learning.
I guess that one line would sum up the entire year, but I will explore a little deeper anyway
I started the year of trying to help deal with my housemates issues, that were dumped on me over the Xmas/New years period. Knowing full well that these problems were not my own, but not feeling strong enough to tell him not to dump them on me. I was supposed to go up to Queensland with him, but with his behaviour and state of mind, I thought it best for me to stay behind and enjoy the peace and quiet having the house to myself would bring.
Things had just started to get back on track and on my way to a benefit gig for the Tsunami, I wrote off my car (and almost myself and a girlfriend of mine). I spent most of the night in St Vincents Emergency with A by my side, until he thought I was stable (read: doped up enough on Morphine) enough to go and check on my other friend - who was taken to Royal Melbourne.
Hence began what is now a very beautiful relationship. It has been an interesting journey so far, but we are now living together in happy domestic bliss (okay...it IS still the honeymoon period and there have been many scraps and disagreements, but he balances me out and is strong enough to hold me when I fall apart...which I need - but he doesn't abuse this power in the way that others have done in the past.) I respect him and I love him...but I wouldn't say that we were "in love" in that stupid teenager always have to be humping each others leg and shoving your tongue down the throat of way. Its a quiet falling into place, comfortable in each others presence, not too much excess baggage, lots of mutual respect and appreciation kinda deal....and its working really well.
In searching for the good in situations, I would have to say that the car accident showed me how awesome my friends are!! So many people supported me and helped me through and genuinely cared about me, I would often sit and think about it and cry at how amazing all of my friends are!
My birthday ...and my lover of the time sleazing onto one of my girlfriends in front of me....unforgiveable!!!! Luckily I made up with the girlfriend, who has turned out to be one of my most treasured and loyal new friends.
There was a break down in communication and a huge argument with my father ... all is healed and things are still going along steadily.
An apparent falling out with someone - which was only brought to my attention by one of my best friends who I had introduced her to. This was never brought to my own attention (although there were a few behavioural issues...but nothing that I have overly worried about) so I have paid it no real heed. I know there is an issue there, and when the person involved is ready, it will be aired. To my mind, she is still a valued friend (frustrating at times, but then so am I).
Reuniting with my oldest sister - who is living in QLD. Long telephone calls and frequent emails and smses at the oddest times. Its strange having family again.
The death of one of my dearest confidants. The woman who supported and understood the troubles with my mother. The woman who knew better than anyone what exactly I have been through with her, the one person who could really tell me that everything would be ok, and I trusted her. The person who understood without me having to give background story.
A NEW CAR!!! After the car accident I bought this piece of crap toyota corona, which blew up whilst I was driving it....so I bit the bullet and got myself a loan and a new snazzy red ford KA...complete with sun roof, CD player and airconditioning!!! Am still in love with it!!
A NEW HOUSE!! With A. Ahh domestic bliss is hugely underrated!! We are still unpacking, but today I got the washer and drier operational!!
DR H...lots of progress....and I have gone down from 2 sessions a week with him to once a month. He is rapt and frequently tells me so at the progress I have made and how "together" I have become. I have learnt that it is better to tackle an issue head on, calmly and rationally. It is better to suck it up sometimes and just ignore people's social inadequacies - especially when they are not important. I can just go and talk to people. I am intelligent and entertaining, and should stop selling myself short. My 2 biggest lessons:
Now I am ready for 2006....BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!! With the wonderful friends that I have and the foundations that I have laid and lessons I have learnt...I think I can handle it!!
I guess that one line would sum up the entire year, but I will explore a little deeper anyway
I started the year of trying to help deal with my housemates issues, that were dumped on me over the Xmas/New years period. Knowing full well that these problems were not my own, but not feeling strong enough to tell him not to dump them on me. I was supposed to go up to Queensland with him, but with his behaviour and state of mind, I thought it best for me to stay behind and enjoy the peace and quiet having the house to myself would bring.
Things had just started to get back on track and on my way to a benefit gig for the Tsunami, I wrote off my car (and almost myself and a girlfriend of mine). I spent most of the night in St Vincents Emergency with A by my side, until he thought I was stable (read: doped up enough on Morphine) enough to go and check on my other friend - who was taken to Royal Melbourne.
Hence began what is now a very beautiful relationship. It has been an interesting journey so far, but we are now living together in happy domestic bliss (okay...it IS still the honeymoon period and there have been many scraps and disagreements, but he balances me out and is strong enough to hold me when I fall apart...which I need - but he doesn't abuse this power in the way that others have done in the past.) I respect him and I love him...but I wouldn't say that we were "in love" in that stupid teenager always have to be humping each others leg and shoving your tongue down the throat of way. Its a quiet falling into place, comfortable in each others presence, not too much excess baggage, lots of mutual respect and appreciation kinda deal....and its working really well.
In searching for the good in situations, I would have to say that the car accident showed me how awesome my friends are!! So many people supported me and helped me through and genuinely cared about me, I would often sit and think about it and cry at how amazing all of my friends are!
My birthday ...and my lover of the time sleazing onto one of my girlfriends in front of me....unforgiveable!!!! Luckily I made up with the girlfriend, who has turned out to be one of my most treasured and loyal new friends.
There was a break down in communication and a huge argument with my father ... all is healed and things are still going along steadily.
An apparent falling out with someone - which was only brought to my attention by one of my best friends who I had introduced her to. This was never brought to my own attention (although there were a few behavioural issues...but nothing that I have overly worried about) so I have paid it no real heed. I know there is an issue there, and when the person involved is ready, it will be aired. To my mind, she is still a valued friend (frustrating at times, but then so am I).
Reuniting with my oldest sister - who is living in QLD. Long telephone calls and frequent emails and smses at the oddest times. Its strange having family again.
The death of one of my dearest confidants. The woman who supported and understood the troubles with my mother. The woman who knew better than anyone what exactly I have been through with her, the one person who could really tell me that everything would be ok, and I trusted her. The person who understood without me having to give background story.
A NEW CAR!!! After the car accident I bought this piece of crap toyota corona, which blew up whilst I was driving it....so I bit the bullet and got myself a loan and a new snazzy red ford KA...complete with sun roof, CD player and airconditioning!!! Am still in love with it!!
A NEW HOUSE!! With A. Ahh domestic bliss is hugely underrated!! We are still unpacking, but today I got the washer and drier operational!!
DR H...lots of progress....and I have gone down from 2 sessions a week with him to once a month. He is rapt and frequently tells me so at the progress I have made and how "together" I have become. I have learnt that it is better to tackle an issue head on, calmly and rationally. It is better to suck it up sometimes and just ignore people's social inadequacies - especially when they are not important. I can just go and talk to people. I am intelligent and entertaining, and should stop selling myself short. My 2 biggest lessons:
- self deprecating humour is not funny
- to forgive is not to forget - sometimes it just makes living life easier.
Now I am ready for 2006....BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!! With the wonderful friends that I have and the foundations that I have laid and lessons I have learnt...I think I can handle it!!