SMS stand for Strange Mad ...something else
Or, 'What happens when my cracked brain, and the cracked brain of my very best friend, spills out in text message form.'
Right, so lily_st_regis and I have a tendency to watch mad TV programmes. Currently, the ‘House Of Crack Fuelled Programming’ that is ITV is showing a series called ‘Lost In Austen’, where a girl not all together dissimilar from ourselves finds a door in her bathroom, and ends up in the middle of Pride and Prejudice.
Honestly, it is a real show, I promise.
Anyway, I’m English, female and single. Pride and Prejudice is practically my second bible. Therefore, I want an invisible magical door next to my toilet that deposits me amongst the fictional inhabitants of classic literature. Like any other sensible girl, so does Lily, which is where this conversation started.
lily_st_regis - Also, I’ve looked behind my bath and there’s no door. Now I feel jipped, I want to be Lost In Austen.
jeze_belle - I know, how much fun would that be? You could go drinking with the servants, dance with the officers, flirt with Bingley and end up with Darcy. All whilst wearing fabulous dresses and having perfect hair. It’d be awesome.
L: Have you checked your bathtub?
J: Yes, and I can’t even get as far as 1978, it’s very depressing.
L: Oh wait, I haven’t checked my wardrobe…. Nah, nothing in there but some snow, a lamppost and a creepy goat in a scarf.
J: Ah, now about that goat in a scarf. If you give him slick indie kid hair, will he suddenly be dramatically attractive?
L: It’s possible he would, hold on, I’ll go and check…. Hmm, he’s gone, and there’s no snow, but there are some people who look like they got lost on the way to Stonehenge on Solstice, singing ‘Ding dong, the witch is dead.’
J: Has it been very windy at your house?
L: Not that I noticed but I fell down and hit my head on the way back from seeing some fortune teller, and when I woke up it looked more colourful than before, and I can’t find my Auntie Em.
J: Well, if any dodgy green women in overly stripy socks come after you, just set your small yappy type dog on them.
L: Oh, I’ve met her already, she’s very nice, she’s just misunderstood. She lent me her socks and is teaching me about the animal rights movement - they could speak, you know?
J: Really? Well, that’s nice. Just be careful she doesn’t steal your boyfriend and turn him into some form of garden ornament. And look out for monkeys.
L: The monkeys have been most violently abused by a creepy guy who hides behind curtains.
J: The guy behind the curtain? I think I’ve met him. Don’t you think he looks a bit like that fortune teller you saw?
L: Come to think of it, there is a resemblance. Hmm, there may be something hinky going on here. There’s a lion who looks awfully like our gardener.
J: Look, you’ll be fine. Just don’t drink anything green, and if you find some red shoes, hang on to them. Failing that, catch the next hot air balloon home.
L: Red shoes, you say? Now that’s horse of a different colour.
(Bonus points for anyone who can spot all of the pop-culture references. We’re actually turning into the Gilmore Girls, it’s a little worrying.)
Right, so lily_st_regis and I have a tendency to watch mad TV programmes. Currently, the ‘House Of Crack Fuelled Programming’ that is ITV is showing a series called ‘Lost In Austen’, where a girl not all together dissimilar from ourselves finds a door in her bathroom, and ends up in the middle of Pride and Prejudice.
Honestly, it is a real show, I promise.
Anyway, I’m English, female and single. Pride and Prejudice is practically my second bible. Therefore, I want an invisible magical door next to my toilet that deposits me amongst the fictional inhabitants of classic literature. Like any other sensible girl, so does Lily, which is where this conversation started.
lily_st_regis - Also, I’ve looked behind my bath and there’s no door. Now I feel jipped, I want to be Lost In Austen.
jeze_belle - I know, how much fun would that be? You could go drinking with the servants, dance with the officers, flirt with Bingley and end up with Darcy. All whilst wearing fabulous dresses and having perfect hair. It’d be awesome.
L: Have you checked your bathtub?
J: Yes, and I can’t even get as far as 1978, it’s very depressing.
L: Oh wait, I haven’t checked my wardrobe…. Nah, nothing in there but some snow, a lamppost and a creepy goat in a scarf.
J: Ah, now about that goat in a scarf. If you give him slick indie kid hair, will he suddenly be dramatically attractive?
L: It’s possible he would, hold on, I’ll go and check…. Hmm, he’s gone, and there’s no snow, but there are some people who look like they got lost on the way to Stonehenge on Solstice, singing ‘Ding dong, the witch is dead.’
J: Has it been very windy at your house?
L: Not that I noticed but I fell down and hit my head on the way back from seeing some fortune teller, and when I woke up it looked more colourful than before, and I can’t find my Auntie Em.
J: Well, if any dodgy green women in overly stripy socks come after you, just set your small yappy type dog on them.
L: Oh, I’ve met her already, she’s very nice, she’s just misunderstood. She lent me her socks and is teaching me about the animal rights movement - they could speak, you know?
J: Really? Well, that’s nice. Just be careful she doesn’t steal your boyfriend and turn him into some form of garden ornament. And look out for monkeys.
L: The monkeys have been most violently abused by a creepy guy who hides behind curtains.
J: The guy behind the curtain? I think I’ve met him. Don’t you think he looks a bit like that fortune teller you saw?
L: Come to think of it, there is a resemblance. Hmm, there may be something hinky going on here. There’s a lion who looks awfully like our gardener.
J: Look, you’ll be fine. Just don’t drink anything green, and if you find some red shoes, hang on to them. Failing that, catch the next hot air balloon home.
L: Red shoes, you say? Now that’s horse of a different colour.
(Bonus points for anyone who can spot all of the pop-culture references. We’re actually turning into the Gilmore Girls, it’s a little worrying.)