Alive Again
Finally I am feeling more like myself. The surreal feelings are over, for a while there everything was hazy and the only real feelings were the pain, but gradually over the week the pain and the painkillers started wearing off and the edges of reality are now in focus as much as they ever are I suppose. I thank all of you out there who were praying for me and taking care of me. I appreciate your love, devotion, care and support.
Okay enough about that. There have been some things that I have been thinking about recently I read an Article by Urie Brofenbrenner. For those who are unfamiliar this is a famous social scientist who is an advocate for families and for systems thinking. He is an advocate for systems thinking in regard to ecological framework which consists of looking at several different systems and the overlapping qualities of these systems in conjunction with a problem. An example would be looking at a family and how the parents work and the child’s schools influences the parent child interaction, and how the social conditions influence the work and school and how the overall system influences the parent child interaction. Okay in an attempt to get to the point. In this article Brofenbrenner wrote about the state of families in the USA how more families are divorced, single parents, low income, and the state of the children of these families in that the children are more vulnerable to drug and alcohol addiction, to abuse, to behavior problems, and to juvenile delinquency.
Okay Urie states that what children need are for grownups to be irrationally involved with them. Meaning children need intense involvement and love, so they need time to be with grownups having interactions with them in order to learn how to be human beings, in order to be socialized. What is happening is because of the circumstances of the family such as the following: low income, parents having to work two jobs, single parents working full time, or poverty like situations with increased vulnerabilities of the family to gangs, and drugs. It is harder and harder for parents and children to have the intense socialization interactions that are needed for both to be better human beings.
Urie says this is further complicated by our society saying that individuals need to be self made and have to achieve on their own with out the support of others. No one stands alone the fact that we are standing he says is because other people have raised us up. Furthermore although our society says that we are all equal our society does not practice this statement.
Urie cited four things that non parents or policy makers or those who aid families need to do to help this situation. Two stuck out to me as being crucial. One the circumstances that families are in are important. One can not understand the dynamics of the family the problems and strengths of the family without understanding the environment and circumstances that the family is in and faces. Each family needs to be taken and considered on an individual basis; one can not apply a stereotyped solution to all. Band-Aid solutions will not solve the problem. Attention must be given to each wound.
Furthermore and I think this one is the most important. People need to learn to care for other people. Children are growing up without ever having to care for another child, without holding a baby, without taking care of the sick, or the elderly. If a human being does not learn how to care for others then how can they expect others to learn to care for them when they need it?
Basically I see the problem as this people do not know how to care for other. Care meaning physical care, spiritual care, emotional care, and psychological care. Our society tells us to focus on ourselves our needs our wants both physical and emotional. We are not taught to care for other people. Thus those who need support and care are not getting it either thru the churches, individuals or the government so the workings of our society --our families are being undermined. People are concerned about the bottom line meaning money, and in creating band aid solutions that will help without involving real effort or real help, without involving care.
Recently I have been surprised when I have found some one who really cares. This is a sad state of affairs. I should be surprised when I find one who doesn’t. Yet when one is considering the fact that American society does not socialize us to care for and about others is it really a surprise?
Okay enough about that. There have been some things that I have been thinking about recently I read an Article by Urie Brofenbrenner. For those who are unfamiliar this is a famous social scientist who is an advocate for families and for systems thinking. He is an advocate for systems thinking in regard to ecological framework which consists of looking at several different systems and the overlapping qualities of these systems in conjunction with a problem. An example would be looking at a family and how the parents work and the child’s schools influences the parent child interaction, and how the social conditions influence the work and school and how the overall system influences the parent child interaction. Okay in an attempt to get to the point. In this article Brofenbrenner wrote about the state of families in the USA how more families are divorced, single parents, low income, and the state of the children of these families in that the children are more vulnerable to drug and alcohol addiction, to abuse, to behavior problems, and to juvenile delinquency.
Okay Urie states that what children need are for grownups to be irrationally involved with them. Meaning children need intense involvement and love, so they need time to be with grownups having interactions with them in order to learn how to be human beings, in order to be socialized. What is happening is because of the circumstances of the family such as the following: low income, parents having to work two jobs, single parents working full time, or poverty like situations with increased vulnerabilities of the family to gangs, and drugs. It is harder and harder for parents and children to have the intense socialization interactions that are needed for both to be better human beings.
Urie says this is further complicated by our society saying that individuals need to be self made and have to achieve on their own with out the support of others. No one stands alone the fact that we are standing he says is because other people have raised us up. Furthermore although our society says that we are all equal our society does not practice this statement.
Urie cited four things that non parents or policy makers or those who aid families need to do to help this situation. Two stuck out to me as being crucial. One the circumstances that families are in are important. One can not understand the dynamics of the family the problems and strengths of the family without understanding the environment and circumstances that the family is in and faces. Each family needs to be taken and considered on an individual basis; one can not apply a stereotyped solution to all. Band-Aid solutions will not solve the problem. Attention must be given to each wound.
Furthermore and I think this one is the most important. People need to learn to care for other people. Children are growing up without ever having to care for another child, without holding a baby, without taking care of the sick, or the elderly. If a human being does not learn how to care for others then how can they expect others to learn to care for them when they need it?
Basically I see the problem as this people do not know how to care for other. Care meaning physical care, spiritual care, emotional care, and psychological care. Our society tells us to focus on ourselves our needs our wants both physical and emotional. We are not taught to care for other people. Thus those who need support and care are not getting it either thru the churches, individuals or the government so the workings of our society --our families are being undermined. People are concerned about the bottom line meaning money, and in creating band aid solutions that will help without involving real effort or real help, without involving care.
Recently I have been surprised when I have found some one who really cares. This is a sad state of affairs. I should be surprised when I find one who doesn’t. Yet when one is considering the fact that American society does not socialize us to care for and about others is it really a surprise?