(Dance Is) The Hidden Language of The Soul - J2 - AU - NC17
Title: (Dance Is) The Hidden Language of The Soul
Author: jeyhawk
Pairings/Characters: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC17
Word Count: ~8000.
Summary: Jensen owns a dance school and Jared is a nurse. Will Jensen's insecurities ruin their relationship or can they make it work?
Warnings: AU.
Notes: This is the dance!verse. :0P At some point I will most definitely write the logical sequel to this. You'll get what I mean when you've read it. :0P Written for the j2_diaries prompt dancing using the prompts arabiana wanted for the drabble she won off me (8000+ words is totally a drabble). Also belated Happy Birhtday to Jared. :0)
(Dance is the) hidden language of the soul
Jensen doesn’t want to be a jealous, insecure prick, he really doesn’t, but as soon as Jared runs more than ten minutes late, he’s convinced that he’s cheating. It’s insane, he knows that, but he just can’t shake the feeling that makes the demons of insecurity well up within him, setting his teeth on edge and turning him snappish.
It doesn’t help, exactly, that Jensen has never had a partner that didn’t cheat on him, or that life has an inane tendency to throw him nothing but curveballs. Like his dance-school for example, that’s a curveball right there. Sure the school is doing well, way better than he ever dreamed it would, but he wouldn’t have a dance-school if it wasn’t for the fact that simple misstep fucked up his right knee so that he had to put his dancing shoes on the shelf.
He still dances, as much as his knee will let him get away with, and he teaches the occasional advanced class, but mostly these days he’s a choreographer and a coach. He makes a good living and he loves his job, but whenever he follows one of his couples to a competition he can’t help the pang of near palpable longing to be the one up there in a fancy suit.
Even Jared is a curveball in a way. The first time they met was eight years ago in Brighton, England of all places. Jared had run into him at the beach and one way or another, they had gotten to talking. Jensen had taken an instant linking to the gangly, gorgeous young man and he’d been more than happy to show Jared around.
It had taken a week for Jensen to be sure that the attraction he felt wasn’t just one-sided, and on Jared's last night in Brighton he’d easily seduced him. Being a romantic obnoxious fool, he’d been sure they were meant to be, right up until he found out Jared was just seventeen and not even legal. He’d turned tail and ran without leaving as much as a contact number.
Luck, or maybe it was cosmic justice, had him bumping into Jared again as he walked into Jensen's dance school looking for waltz lessons, and this time Jensen didn’t intend to let him go ever again. It had been a bumpy ride to begin with, especially since Jared had spend the last three years of his life trying hard to forget everything about being gay. But for once, Jensen had been the one winning the grand prize, even beating heavy competition in the guise of Jared's long time girlfriend, Sandy, and he just couldn’t believe it was real.
The sound of Jared putting his key in the lock makes him stiffen and look up from the chart he’s been pretending to work on for the last hour. He puts it to the side and gets up from his chair, walking out into the hall.
“You’re late,” he says, and he can hear the accusation in his own voice.
“Hey, babe, it’s nice to see you, too,” Jared says with something close to exasperation in his voice as he shrugs off his jacket and runs a hand through his hair.
He looks tired and Jensen tries to swallow down his sudden anger. “Why are you late?” he asks and the accusation is still there.
“One of the night nurses was late,” Jared answers, pushing past Jensen and heading for the kitchen.
Jensen follows him with his arms crossed across his chest and his mouth pressed into a tight line. “Again?”
Jared opens the fridge door and starts rummaging around. “Yes, again,” he says softly.
Jensen reaches past him and pulls out a tinfoil-covered plate, balling the tinfoil up and putting the plate into the microwave, putting the time to two minutes. Jared's hopeless; he could have rummaged around the fridge for two hours and still not found the plate Jensen put there for him an hour or so earlier, when he finally gave up on waiting with dinner.
“It’s the third night this week you’re late,” he says, glaring at Jared, trying to gauge his open features for any insincerity.
“Yes, indeed it is,” Jared admits. “On Monday there was an emergency just before I was off the clock, yesterday the night nurse was late. The same nurse, I might add, that was late today. I will talk to the head nurse about it tomorrow, because even though
everyone can be late every now and then, two days in a row is a bit too much.”
“Why couldn’t any of the other nurses stay?” he asks, just as he asked yesterday.
“Because,” Jared says very carefully, “I’m the one that lives closest and didn’t have anywhere urgent to be. Besides, I’m still pretty new and we all know the new people get all the crap.”
The microwave pings and Jared pulls out his steaming plate, putting it on the kitchen island. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m really fucking hungry and I would like to have my food in peace, if that’s not too much to ask.”
Jensen flinches, Jared's words hitting him like a blow to the face. Jared doesn’t look angry, though, just tired, and Jensen slowly backs out of the kitchen. He forces himself to go and sit on the couch, staring at his own hands. He’s acting like an ass, it’s not as if he even honestly thinks Jared is cheating on him, but he just can’t stop poking. It’s like he’s waiting for Jared to blow up, pack his bags and hightail out of Jensen’s life as quickly as he entered it.
The thing is, Jensen is a bottom, always was, always will be, and he likes his guys to be toppy as hell. In his previous experience, toppy also meant mean, but Jared's not like that at all. He’s a top all right, and his touch is quite enough to make Jensen go all goey inside and bend over the nearest flat surface for him, but he’s never mean. Jensen keeps waiting for it, though, keeps waiting for Jared to lash out at him and tell him he’s an insufferable, annoying bitch.
It’s like he’s trying to mould Jared into the frame a lifetime of sucky boyfriends left behind, and so far he hasn’t succeeded. He doesn’t even want to succeed - he wants Jared just the way he is, gentle, sweet and caring. But it’s hard to break old habits, so he keeps pushing, waiting for the blow. He listens to the sounds of Jared eating, cutlery clinking against the plate and then the sound of the plate being washed. He makes no move to walk into the kitchen again. He wants to apologize, but doesn’t know what to say.
He does get up, though, when Jared turns the kitchen stereo on, the sound of Lady In Red filtering out into the living room. He looks down on his red shirt and smiles a little, maybe he doesn’t have to apologize this time.
Jared is leaning against the kitchen island when he walks back into the kitchen, but he pushes himself up as soon as he sees Jensen, opening his arms.
“May I have this dance?” Jared asks softly, and Jensen burrows into his embrace without a word, pressing his face against Jared's chest.
Jared's arms close around him, holding him close as he slowly sways to the beat. Jensen bunches the back of Jared's t-shirt up in his fists and easily moves in step with him. Jared's not a half bad dancer, not like this, but he’s got no passion for it and if you let him loose on a dance floor to any kind of rock beat, his flailing is bound to hurt innocent people.
Jensen doesn’t mind, though. He’s had enough of high strung dancer types who are too wrapped up in themselves to really care about anyone else. He used to be one of them, but he likes to think he’s learned something over the years. Other people might laugh at Jared dancing, but Jensen just watches and thinks he’s all mine. Besides, he’s the only one that gets this, Jared's arms around him and the reassuring thrum of his heart against his nose.
The song changes into Kenny Roger’s rendition of Lady and Jensen smiles against the soft fabric of Jared's t-shirt.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, hoping that Jared can hear his muffled words.
“Me too,” Jared says softly, reaching a hand up to cup the back of Jensen's neck.
Jensen looks up in sudden alarm. What does Jared have to be sorry for? He wasn’t the ass in this equation. Jared just smiles at him, rubbing his thumb over the fine hairs at the back of Jensen's neck.
“I’m sorry it has to be like this,” Jared says softly. “I wish you could just trust me. I love you, Jen, but it’s tiresome to be interrogated every time I come home later than you expected.”
“Don’t leave me,” Jensen squeaks in near panic, cold sweat breaking out all over his body. “Please, Jay… I’ll…”
Jared laughs and shakes his head. “Silly,” he admonishes softly. “It took me eight years to find you, I’m not letting you go again.”
Jensen smiles, trying to pretend it’s not a bit wobbly around the edges and buries his head back in Jared's shirt. The song ends again and this time Jared lets him go. Jensen holds on for a second longer before letting his hands drop, as well. Suddenly he doesn’t know what to do with himself. This, them, is still new and Jared is living with him out of necessity more than anything else. Not that he ever wants Jared to leave, but he can’t find the words to actually say it.
Jared walks over to turn the stereo off and Jensen just watches him.
“Are you looking at apartments tomorrow morning?” he asks, because Jared has been out looking at apartments every morning this week.
“No, don’t think so,” Jared answers, turning around to face him.
“Oh… I thought you wanted to see the one with the tiny kitchen again.”
“I already bought it,” Jared says, and Jensen's heart nearly stops.
“Oh,” he says weakly. “Oh… I thought…”
“What did you think?” Jared asks, moving closer.
“I don’t know,” Jensen whispers, full of despair. That I’d get a chance to stop you.
“I don’t mind when you are clingy,” Jared rumbles, moving into Jensen's personal space and speaking against his ear. “I like it even.”
“Stay,” Jensen says, finally finding his voice. “Please, please, please stay with me.”
“You really want me to live here, with you?”
“Yes,” Jensen exclaims, sliding his arms around Jared's neck. “I don’t want you to move out and I don’t care that it’s stupid and too soon, and every damned idiotic thing anyone can think of. It’s you and me and it’s fucking perfect.”
“All you had to do was ask, you stupid idiot,” Jared says with an obvious grin in his voice, straightening up so suddenly, he hoists Jensen off his feet. Jensen easily wraps his legs around Jared's waist and looks him in the eyes.
“You didn’t buy that stupid apartment,” he says, narrowing his eyes.
Jared laughs and leans their foreheads together, arms wrapped securely around Jensen's back. “No, I didn’t.”
“That was a pretty mean joke to play on me.”
“I’m sorry,” Jared murmurs, leaning even closer so that their lips are almost touching. “I just wanted to be sure.”
Jensen closes the distance between their mouths. He’s tired of talking and it’s been hours upon hours since they last kissed. Jared takes control immediately, his tongue pushing into Jensen's mouth and claiming him in a way that never fails to turn him on. Jared's a fantastic kisser, slow and thorough, messy when he wants to be, but always focused. Jensen could spend days just kissing him, trading slow lazy kisses until he can’t remember his own name.
“Bedroom?” Jared asks when they break apart, as if the erection digging into his stomach isn’t answer enough.
Jensen chuckles and places a wet kiss below Jared's ear. “What do you think?”
~*~
Jared had thought that living with someone new after living with Sandy for almost two years would be hard, but he’d been wrong. Even though his moving in with Jensen had been born out of necessity more than anything else, he’s never been as ecstatically happy. Jensen is everything he ever wanted in a man. Well, he’s the man Jared has been wanting since he was seventeen, and a gorgeous Texan dancer made him realize he was gay.
In a way, he feels cheated out of the eight years they spent apart, when they turned out to be this good together. Shouldn’t they have been together all the time? In another, he thinks that the time they spent apart made them better, more compatible. At seventeen, Jared had still been a child, not sure of what he wanted, or how he wanted it. Even though they had been good together for the brief time they got back then, Jensen was not set to be the bossy one in a relationship, and their dynamic would have been weird in the long run.
Jared is a top. He likes being the dominant one and he thinks that was what made him able to have a relationship with Sandy. It’s not that he likes his men feminine, and he has sure as hell tried all kinds, but he likes it best when he’s the one calling the shots. Now Jensen is a bottom, but a damned pushy one, and he suits Jared better than he ever could have imagined. They just fit somehow and Jensen is insane if he thinks Jared is going to let that go.
“So now that you are going to live here for… uhm… real… Is there anything you’d like to change about the place?” Jensen asks one Saturday afternoon when they are cuddling on the couch with the rain beating against the windowpanes.
Jared blinks and turns his head a little so that he can look at Jensen. “What do you mean, change?”
Jensen smiles a little. “I don’t know… Like decorations or something. Or maybe you’d rather we get another place… you know, together.”
“I like it here,” Jared says, looking around. “It’s cozy and close to the hospital. Besides, it would be pretty stupid for you to move away when you live on top of your dance school.”
“So you want to move alone then?” Jensen asks, chewing at his lower lip.
“Your mother dropped you on your head when you were a child, admit it,” Jared answers in exasperation.
Jensen pinches him in the side. “I’m serious, Jay. I want you to feel like this is your home too, not like you’re living in my home.”
“In that case… We have to get a new bed.”
“What’s wrong with my bed?” Jensen pouts very prettily and Jared has to kiss him for a while, until the pout is gone and Jensen's lips are shiny with his spit.
“Your bed,” he says, “is tiny. It’s not that I don’t love sleeping wrapped around you, but I would love to do it without my feet hanging out.”
“Your feet do not hang out. There’s nothing wrong with my bed.”
“Maybe not…” Jared says. “But I want it to be our bed.”
Jensen's next protest dies on his lips and he pouts again. Jared figures he just does it to get kissed, so he kisses him again, long and slow with his hands cupping the sides of Jensen's face. Jensen is a really fucking awesome kisser and Jared could spend days just kissing him, if it wasn’t for the fact that kissing Jensen makes him think of doing other things to Jensen.
“Okay, we’ll get a new bed,” Jensen says when they break apart.
Jared chuckles, rubbing his thumbs over Jensen's cheekbones. Jensen smiles at him, his eyes going soft.
“You and me,” he murmurs. “It’s for real, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Jared answers. “For real.”
“I mean like… you know… getting married real.”
Jared laughs. “Are you proposing?”
“No… I mean… I just…”
“I would, you know,” Jared says softly. “I’d marry you.”
“Are you proposing?”
Jared smiles a bit crookedly. “Not yet.”
Jensen grins. “But you will.”
Jared just smiles for an answer. He does actually want to marry Jensen, because he’s stupid like that. He doesn’t even care that it isn’t exactly legal, he just wants to do it, make it official, but there are a few issues that need to be addressed first.
The music in the background turns to some slow, lazy song and Jared grins.
“You wanna dance?” he asks softly.
Jensen grins back, all teeth and sparkling eyes. “Only if it’s horizontal.”
With a laugh, Jared flips them over so that he’s on top of Jensen on the couch. “I think I can live with that,” he murmurs before bending down and fusing their lips together.
~*~
Jensen is on his hands and knees in the middle of their brand new bed, naked as the day he was born. He feels oddly exposed, even though the only other person in the room is Jared and he’s naked, too.
“Would you stop staring?” Jensen asks, his voice thick with arousal and something like embarrassment.
“You’re beautiful,” Jared murmurs, putting his large hands on Jensen's ass and pulling the cheeks apart.
Jensen cringes, reflexively trying to pull away. He never really believed that Jared thinks he’s beautiful everywhere. His cock twitches, though, getting even stiffer so that the head is gracing his stomach with every breath. He wishes that Jared would just do something. He’s been standing like this for almost half an hour now, and Jared has done nothing but watch him, grazing his fingers over Jensen's flushed skin every now and then.
Jensen's arms are already trembling and he can hear his pulse roaring in his ears. No one ever made love to him like Jared does. Even when Jared is pounding into him so hard that Jensen almost chokes on his cock, it’s more about love than about fucking. Every gentle touch, and every kiss pressed against sweat damp skin tells him so.
“I love you,” Jensen chokes out, dropping down on his elbows and spreading his legs, letting Jared get his fill of whatever it is he wants to see.
Jared hardly touches him and he feels like he’s about to come, his skin’s too tight and his cock’s leaking precome onto the pristine sheets.
“So hot, baby,” Jared murmurs, letting his hands slide down to grip Jensen's trembling thighs. “So fucking hot for you.”
Jensen makes an embarrassing sound, his hips twitching against nothing as he waits for Jared to do something, anything. Jared shifts behind him and then there is hot air blowing over his hole and he groans deep in his throat. He knows he should be embarrassed about Jared being close enough to smell him there, but the mere thought that Jared is willing to get that up close and personal makes him tremble inside.
The first flick of Jared's tongue over his hole has him keening while a deep blush spreads over his face and down his chest, until he’s sure even his cock is blushing.
“Jared,” he groans, half turned on, half scandalized.
“You taste so good,” Jared murmurs against his skin, his tongue lapping over Jensen's flexing flesh again.
“God,” Jensen moans, his flush deepening.
He screws his eyes shut and wills himself not to think about what Jared is doing, because it feels like heaven. A few more delicate licks have him whimpering with need, rocking his hips shamelessly against Jared's face. He near to chants Jared's name over and over, bunching the sheets up in his hands.
It’s so hot, dirty, wrong and intimate he can hardly breathe, sweat breaking out all over his skin while the muscles of his lower stomach quiver. Jared's hands tighten on his thighs, keeping him still while Jared pushes his tongue inside. With a low keening wail, Jensen's comes, shooting so hard he gets come on his face while his entire body convulses with exquisite pleasure.
Jared presses one last open-mouthed kiss against his flexing opening before straightening up. Jensen collapses on his side, panting for breath, almost dizzy with pleasure. Jared gently nudges him over to his back and Jensen blinks dumbly up at him.
With gentle touches, Jared arranges Jensen's limbs to his liking and Jensen thinks that the reoccurring theme of the evening is exposed. When Jensen is positioned how Jared wants him, Jared drapes himself over Jensen, licking the come from his chin and cheek.
“I understand if you don’t want to kiss me,” Jared murmurs, pressing a kiss to the side of Jensen's jaw, his cock pressing hot and heavy against Jensen's hip.
Jensen knows that he shouldn’t want to, thinks it’s a bit disgusting, even as reaches up to grab Jared's hair and steer his lips right. He sucks hungrily on Jared's tongue, licking the roof of his mouth until Jared no longer tastes like him, but as a mix of them.
Jared grins, big and bright, when they break apart, his lips shiny with spit, and Jensen thinks he’s never been more beautiful. With a last soft kiss, Jared starts moving down his body, dutifully licking the remains of splattered come from Jensen's chest and stomach. Jensen shivers, his cock twitching in a pitiful attempt to rise again.
Jared chuckles, burying his nose in Jensen's thick pubes and rubbing his cheek against his soft cock. “Too soon?” he asks, his breath fanning over Jensen's skin.
“Maybe not,” Jensen rasps, as his cock stiffens slightly.
Jared grins, sucking Jensen's cock into his mouth, tonguing it back into full hardness while Jensen writhes underneath him. It’s almost too much, pleasure sizzling along his sensitized nerve endings, but it’s Jared's mouth, and oh so fucking good. He pushes
himself up on his elbows to be able to see the length of his cock disappearing in between Jared's lips.
Jared looks up as if he can feel him looking, and lets Jensen's cock slip from his lips with a wet pop. He licks his lips with a smile, reaching for the lube on the nightstand. Jensen watches as he pours a generous amount onto his fingers and obligingly spreads his legs even further when Jared nudges him slightly.
“Yeah,” he sighs when the first slick finger slides into him without the slightest twinge of pain. Before Jared, he’d been the type to need lots and lots of preparation, but it’s like he wants Jared within him so much that his body just opens up to his touch. He only needs the most cursory preparation to be able to take Jared's sizable cock, but of course Jared loves his foreplay, so that theory doesn’t get tested very often.
A second finger and even more lube join the first and Jensen shifts his hips impatiently, rocking into Jared's touch. Jared's watching him again, hazel eyes sliding up and down his body while he slowly prepares Jensen. He groans impatiently when Jared's adds a third finger, slowly scissoring them in and out of his body.
“Jesus,” he moans. “Just fuck me, will you?”
Jared huffs out a laugh. “What’s the matter, baby? Don’t you like my fingers?”
“Not… yeah… when you’re being a fucking… tease.”
Jared spreads his fingers slightly, making a ripple of pleasure go through Jensen's body.
“Jared,” he half moans, half whines.
Jared chuckles and gently slides his fingers out. Jensen immediately feels empty, missing the feel of Jared within him, but he knows it’ll soon get even better.
“So hungry for me,” Jared murmurs, reaching for the lube again and getting up on his knees.
Jensen licks his lips as Jared pours a liberal amount of lube into the palm of his hand and reaches down to curl it around his angry looking erection. If he hadn’t been so worked up, he would have loved to watch Jared palm himself until he came all over Jensen's prone body. There is something intensely erotic about the sight of Jared's long fingers wrapped around his cock.
When Jared pulls his hand away, his cock is glistening with lube and his skin is flushed with arousal.
“Gorgeous,” Jensen says, his cock twitching as his eyes slide over Jared's built body. “Fucking gorgeous.”
“You’re one to talk,” Jared answers, moving forward until he’s blanketing Jensen with his body.
Jensen moves his legs up to wrap around Jared's back, shivering when the blunt head of Jared's cock brushes his hole. Jared smiles down at him, pressing a soft kiss to his nose before he reaches down to lead his cock right as he slowly pushes forward. Jensen screws his eyes shut at the initial burn, even though it doesn’t really hurt and Jared pauses once he’s fully buried inside.
“Look at me,” he coaxes, giving Jensen's slightly parted lips a soft kiss.
Jensen blinks his eyes open and smiles. “M’good.”
Jared starts rocking into him, slow and easy at first, giving Jensen time to get used to the intrusion. Jensen slides his hands down to cup his ass, pulling Jared closer and deeper. Jared groans deep in his throat, bending down to give Jensen a messy kiss with
more teeth and tongue than lips.
“Yeah,” Jensen moans, the word eaten by Jared's impatient lips. “God, yeah.”
Jared's rapid panted breaths tell Jensen he’s getting close, thrusting deep and hard into Jensen’s willing body. Every thrust rubs against his prostate and Jensen feels like he’s flying high. He brings one of his hands up to his mouth, getting his fingers nice and
wet before reaching down again, sliding his fingers in between Jared's ass cheeks and brushing against his hole.
Jared groans, pushing back against Jensen's fingers and forward into his tight heat. It’s a bit of a struggle to reach, but the sounds Jared’s making are well worth the strain on his muscles. He can’t really push his finger into Jared from this angle, but he keeps
rubbing his fingers over his opening, touching and teasing him until Jared's hips stutter and he buries himself balls deep in Jensen as he comes.
Jensen keeps up his gentle teasing until Jared collapses on top of him with a groan, pushing the breath out of his lungs. His own cock is pounding, hot and hard, against Jared's stomach, and he wriggles his hand in between them.
“Jesus,” Jared moans, his hips twitching.
He pushes himself up on his elbows to be able to look down between them to Jensen's hand wrapped around his own cock. He lowers himself and easily rolls them over, crushing Jensen's hand between them.
“Ride me,” he says, his voice hoarse and ragged.
Jensen grins, sitting up on his haunches and letting his pounding cock go for the time being. Jared is still half hard within him and being the freak of nature that he is, Jensen's sensuous rocking soon has him growing to full hardness again. Jensen throws his head back and squeezes his eyes shut, focusing on the delicious feel of Jared inside him.
He groans when Jared grips his hips, forcing him to keep a slow, steady rhythm, more grinding than actual riding. Jared feels huge within him and pleasure’s sizzling through his body, coiling in his stomach. He reaches for his cock, but Jared stops him with a touch to his wrist.
He blinks his eyes open to find Jared watching him, hazel eyes almost black with pleasure. His skin is flushed pink and sweat is glistening on his chest. Jared's rocking into him, twisting his hips to get even deeper, but his grip on Jensen's hips still keep him from just letting himself go, fucking himself on Jared's cock.
“Please,” Jensen pants. “Please… Jay… Just let me…”
He reaches for his cock again, desperate to just come already, but Jared stops him this time, too.
“Not yet,” he says.
Jensen whimpers hoarsely, the need to come is the only thing he can think of. He tries to up the pace, riding Jared harder, but Jared's hands tighten on his hips, keeping him still.
“Jared,” he whines. “Pleaseeee.”
Jared licks his lips, his mouth open around his harsh breaths. “Just a little more,” he moans. “I’m getting… yeah… close…”
Jensen tightens his muscles, milking Jared's cock as good as he can. Jared groans, giving Jensen a little more leeway to ride him, but not enough to finally let him get off.
“God, baby… you’re so fucking huge… filling me so good…” Jensen pants. “I love it when you fuck me… so fucking… yeah… good.”
“Jesus,” Jared groans and he finally lets go of Jensen's hips in favor of snaking a hand around his neck and pulling him down for a wet, dirty kiss.
“Yeah,” Jensen groans, gripping Jared's shoulder to get leverage as he rides Jared harder and faster, lifting himself almost off before slamming back down.
Jared pants his name over and over, lifting his hips to meet every down stroke until Jensen's head is lolling with every thrust. It feels so fucking good, Jensen can’t even think straight, he wants to grip his rock hard, leaking cock and just finish himself off, but when he tries he almost topples over.
Whimpering with his need to come, he lets himself fall forward until he’s more or less lying on top of Jared, his cock leaving a wet trail on Jared's sweaty abs.
“That’s it, baby,” Jared's groans. “Yeah… god… yeah…”
Jensen wails when Jared suddenly rolls them over again, fucking him deep and hard until he can’t even scream anymore. When Jared finally takes pity on him, wrapping a huge sweaty hand around Jensen's cock, he comes and comes and comes and comes so hard that he finally passes out.
When he comes back to himself, Jared is curled up beside him, stroking his sweaty hair with a trembling hand.
“Wake up, Jen,” he’s whispering. “Please, baby.”
Jensen blinks his eyes open and turns his head to look at him. “Hey,” he says.
Jared's frown turns into a relieved smile and Jensen finds himself being kissed within an inch of his life.
“Don’t ever do that to me again,” Jared says weakly. “You scared the shit out me.”
Jensen smiles lazily. “Don’t let me wait so long next time and I might not come so hard.”
“Jesus…” Jared huffs out a breath, burying his head against Jensen's neck. “I thought I fucking killed you.”
Jensen laughs. “Killed by the mighty Padalecki cock.”
“It’s not funny. I was sure you’d had an aneurysm or something.”
Jensen suddenly realizes that Jared isn’t joking; he really did think he’d killed Jensen. “I’m sorry, babe,” Jensen murmurs, reaching up to pet Jared's sweat soaked hair. “I didn’t mean to.”
“I know you didn’t,” Jared huffs against his skin. “You just scared me, that’s all.”
“So… uh… did you…”
“Yeah,” Jared says wryly. “And believe me, if I actually had killed you… that would have tortured me to the day I died.”
Jensen chuckles, wrapping his arms around Jared and giving him a tight hug. “We should shower,” he says.
“Yeah,” Jared agrees, reluctantly getting out of Jensen's embrace.
Jared puts the bathroom radio on before they get into the shower and they end up with their arms wrapped around each other, swaying slowly to the beat of some romantic ballad while the water beats down on their skin. Jensen doesn’t think he’s ever been so happy and he tightens his hold on Jared's slippery skin, grinning with his entire face.
“Love you,” he says softly.
“You too,” Jared answers, pressing a kiss to his ear.
It’s eerily like he’s living in a dance themed romantic comedy, and he never ever wants it to end. He doesn’t care if he loses his dance school, his home and the clothes on his back. As long as he still got Jared, nothing else matters.
~*~
It’s Friday night and Jared is in a bar having drinks with Chad. It’s one of those upscale places that Chad loves and Jared just feels uncomfortable in, but then their friendship always was an unlikely one. Chad’s got flash, expensive clothes, fast cars, beautiful women, while Jared is a gay male nurse that would slob around in sweats and torn t-shirts if Jensen didn’t force some style on him.
He hooks a finger under the collar of his dress shirt for the millionth time, trying to loosen its vice like grip of his poor defenseless throat. He felt really stupid back home when he was putting on a goddamned suit, the same he wore to Chad’s wedding, just to have a few drinks with his best friend, especially since Jensen wasn’t home to appreciate it.
Jensen had been away for over a week and wasn’t expected home until Sunday, and it was desperate loneliness more than any need to be out and about that had made Jared agree to this outing. He wasn’t used to being on his own any more and he missed Jensen like a limb.
Chad chuckles, giving him a slanted look. “Let me guess, you’re thinking about Jen again, aren’t you?”
Jared looks sheepish. “Yeah… Sorry.”
Chad just shakes his head and looks down on his drink. “I envy you,” he says softly. “It seems so easy for you guys.”
Jared blinks. “You envy me? Who are you and what have you done to my best friend?”
Chad smiles a little, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “We’re getting divorced.”
“Oh… I’m sorry, man.” Jared can’t say his surprised. He’s rather surprised they lasted this long.
Chad shrugs. “Not your fault.”
“Did something happen, or did you just… run out of love?”
Chad snorts. “Well… She ran out of love for me, at any rate.”
“Oh, that hurts.”
“Yeah…” Chad looks up from his froofy drink and pins Jared with a look. “Have you talked to Sandy lately?”
Jared shakes his head. He tried to keep in touch with Sandy for a while after they broke up, guilt making him want to ease the transition for her, but eventually he realized that he was only prolonging the pain for her and hurting Jensen, to boot. The fact that Jensen had been foremost on his mind had made him feel even more like an ass, but he’d made his choice and he’d deserved every bit of discomfort he experienced.
They still exchanged Christmas cards and he’d run into her at the hospital once in a while, but other than that, he’d hardly spoken to her for a year.
“Yeah, well, apparently your fall back into rainbow land inspired her.”
“You mean…”
“Yeah.” Chad makes a face. “Sandy and Sophia.”
Jared blinks. “Jesus.”
“That’s one way to put it.”
Jared signals a passing waiter to bring them another round of drinks and settles back into his chair. Sandy gay, who would have thought?
*
It’s much later when Jared finally finds his way back home and he’s got a pleasant buzz going. He’s not half as drunk as Chad was when he poured him into a cab, though, and he almost feels bad for not suggesting he stay over. It’s just that Jensen worries about these things and Jared doesn’t want to cause him any unnecessary pain.
Sure, Jensen knows Chad and he knows that Jared does so not want to sleep with him, but his over active imagination is bound to start pulling up worst case scenarios anyway. Sometimes it gets to Jared that Jensen doesn’t fully trust him, even after almost two years, but he supposes life just fucked Jensen over one too many times.
He pulls his phone out of his pocket and hits speed-dial one. He hasn’t quite figured out the time difference, but he supposes it’s morning in England where Jensen is.
“Yeah?” Jensen answers sounding preoccupied.
“Hey, baby. I miss you so damned much,” he says, letting his voice drop to low and sultry.
There is a clatter on the other end and then Jensen makes a sound half way between a curse and a laugh.
“I’ll call you back in five minutes,” he says and then the line goes dead.
Jared grins to himself and uses his five minutes to get out of the suit and brush his teeth. He settles into bed just as Jensen calls him back.
“Hey,” he answers.
“Hey,” Jensen says and Jared can actually hear him smiling.
“I’m home now.” The pillow feels awful good under Jared’s head and it still smells faintly like Jensen’s after shave.
“You drunk?”
“A little… Chad’s getting divorced.”
“Oh… I… How’s he taking it?”
“Pretty well, I guess… Apparently, Sophia is leaving him for Sandy.”
“What? That’s… Really?”
“Yeah.”
Jared lets Jensen process the news, rolling over on his side and pressing his nose against the pillowcase.
“How are you taking it?” Jensen asks.
“Taking what?” Jared counter-asks, sniffling the pillowcase to chase the lingering scent of Jensen. “God, I miss you.”
“You do?” Jensen sounds stupidly pleased, like Jared hasn’t told him every day.
“Yeah.”
“I miss you, too.”
Jared smiles, pressing the phone a little tighter to his ear. “Want me to pick you up on Sunday?”
There’s a brief pause. “No… It’s easier if I catch a ride with Jason and Danneel.”
“Okay. So how are you holding up?”
“What? I’m fine.”
“Mmmhmmm.”
“It’s just… It stings, you know? I’m really happy to be here cheering for them, but…” Jensen trails off.
“It should have been you,” Jared fills in. Jensen doesn’t answer and Jared sighs. “I love you,” he offers, even though he knows that his love is not much in the face of what a simple misstep cost Jensen.
“I love you, too. You just…” Jensen inhales raggedly. “You just… understand.”
Jared does understand; he was the one that told Jensen it was a really stupid idea when Jason and Danneel approached him looking for a new coach and choreographer. Of course Jensen hadn’t listened to him, and in a way Jared understood why he had
agreed; he just didn’t like what it was doing to Jensen. Danneel had been Jensen’s partner while he was still in the circuit and Jason and his old partner had been their worst opponents.
Jared hadn’t been around at the time, but it was obvious that Danneel turning to Jason once Jensen was out of the game had hurt him, and in a way it had been resurrection when they turned to him for coaching. In another way it just meant he was
constantly reminded of what he couldn’t have anymore.
“You know what?” Jensen asks. “Screw them. I got the best damned dance partner in the world.”
Jared laughs, grinning into the dark of their bedroom. “As long as you don’t mind never dancing anything but slow dance and waltz.”
“Hey, you’re getting pretty good at the tango, too.”
“You only say that because I tip you into bed and fuck you blind every time I grow frustrated with my own lack of coordination.”
“That should totally be an approved move,” Jensen chuckles.
Jared grins. “Yeah, but it might be a bit bothersome to dance around the beds.”
Jensen laughs and the sound makes Jared feel a bit better. He hates thinking about Jensen being lonely and sad when he’s not there to kiss it all better.
“I gotta go,” Jensen says. ”They’re up soon and there’s bound to be some last minute emergencies.”
“Okay, babe. Wish them luck from me.”
“I will. Love you.”
“Love you.”
The line goes dead and Jared puts the phone on the nightstand before burying his head in the pillow again. Jensen will be home soon and all will be right with the world.
*
Jared knows Jensen better than Jensen think he does, maybe even better than Jensen knows himself. So when Jensen told him it was better to catch a ride with Jason and Danneel, Jared didn’t believe him for a second. Of course it would have been a whole lot more practical, especially since the flight turns out to be three hours delayed. However, showing up at the airport means that he cares, and besides, Jared can’t fucking wait a minute longer than necessary to see Jensen.
Waiting turns out to be hellish, though, even though he buys himself a book and settles down in one of the many coffee shops to read it. He just doesn’t like the thought of Jensen being on a plane and he finds himself picturing all kinds of worst-case scenarios.
Whenever the nervous energy goes through the roof and his legs start jittering, he manages to calm himself by touching his pocket, letting his finger trace the square jewellery box hidden in its depth, because he’s been nervous about popping the question a whole lot longer than he’s been nervous about Jensen dying in a plane crash.
Eventually the plane does touch down, though, and Jared moves towards the arrivals right away, positioning himself halfway behind a pillar as a he waits for people to start walking out. It takes forever and then some, but then people start trickling out through the doors and Jared pulls himself up to his full height, easily looking over the heads of the people surrounding him.
He spots Jensen as soon as he walks out, and the relieved rush that goes through him makes his knees weak and his heart stutter. Somehow he didn’t truly believe that Jensen would really be back until he saw him. He moves into the shadow as Jensen's eyes furtively scan the crowd, disappointment clouding his features for a moment when he doesn’t spot Jared. Then Jason says something, Daneelle’s hand clutched tightly in his, and Jared can see that smile Jensen puts on is entirely fake.
Even from across the hall, Jared can see how tired Jensen looks, lines marring his normally smooth complexion and he decides that the hiding is over. He carelessly pushes his way to the front of the crowd, keeping his eyes on Jensen the entire time. As if Jensen can feel him, he looks up and spots Jared right away. He blinks a couple of times, like he can’t believe his eyes, and then he grins so brightly that Jared gets an urge to shield his eyes.
Jensen drops his bags to the floor and starts walking towards him and Jared moves faster until he’s almost running. They meet in the middle of the floor and Jared catches Jensen in his arms, holding him tight. Jensen's fingers wind themselves in the back of his shirt, just hanging on, and he can feel Jensen trembling minutely.
“You came,” Jensen murmurs against his shirt and Jared hugs him a little tighter.
“Marry me,” he blurts out, his voice sounding raw and edgy.
Jensen loosens his hold of Jared's shirt enough to be able to look up at him. “What?” he asks, his green eyes full of hopeful confusion behind his wire rimmed glasses.
“Marry me,” Jared repeats, louder and surer.
Jensen licks his lips, his freckles standing out in stark relief against his pale skin. “I… What?”
Jared smiles softly. “I said…” he bends down, pressing his lips to Jensen's ear. “Marry me.”
Jensen's trembling is getting a lot more pronounced as the seconds pass, and Jared is vaguely aware of Jason and Danneel walking up to them with Jensen's bags.
“What?” Jensen asks again, his voice barely a whisper.
Jared grins, letting his arms drop from Jensen's back in favor of getting down on one knee, pulling the jewellery box from his pocket. He’s pretty sure that people are watching them and a few of them might have issues with what they are witnessing, but he can’t bring himself to care. People will always have issues; it doesn’t really matter.
“Jensen Ackles,” he says, looking up at Jensen's pale face. “Will you marry me?”
He opens the box and holds it up for Jensen, who is looking like he might faint any minute. Jensen's mouth opens and closes a few times without any sound coming out until he finally finds his voice.
“Yes,” he says, his voice raw with emotion. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
Jared hardly hears the smatter of applause as he bounces to his feet again and pulls Jensen into his arms, pressing a kiss to his soft lips.
“I’m gonna make you so happy,” he murmurs against Jensen's ear, hugging him so hard he’s surprised that Jensen doesn’t protest.
“You already do,” Jensen says, sounding dazed and out of breath.
Jared releases him, looking down into his too beautiful face. “Let’s go home.”
Jensen nods and smiles, his eyes shining with emotion. Jared suddenly remembers the box still in his hand, the corners of it digging into his palm. He takes the ring out, keeping it between his thumb and forefinger. Jensen licks his lips and the hand he offers Jared is shaking visibly. Keeping their eyes locked, Jared slides the white gold band onto Jensen's ring finger, unable to stop smiling at how perfect it looks there.
The ring is broad and shining, with a simple wave-like engraving that made Jared think of rhythm when he picked it out. Jensen is staring at it like it’s gonna eat his finger and Jared covers his hand with his own.
“Love you.”
Jensen blinks up at him without saying anything. Jared chuckles, ruffling his hair with his free hand to lighten the mood. When Jensen still just stares at him, Jared figures it’s time to take him home.
He gets Jensen's bags from Daneell and Jason, the two of them offering the warmest congratulations, Dannell looking so excited she’s fairly bouncing. She looks at Jensen, who’s keeping a tight grip on Jared's hand, staring off into space, seemingly unaware
that they are even there.
“I don’t think he’s slept very much during the trip,” she says. “I know for sure he didn’t sleep on the plane.”
Jared nods. He figured as much. “I’ll take care of him,” he promises, hoisting Jensen's carry on bag onto his shoulder and taking the wheeled one in his free hand.
“See you around,” he says as way of goodbye.
“Yeah,” Jason responds, tilting his head in an off hand wave.
Jared more or less drags Jensen with him to the car, the only thing reminding him that Jensen is still with him is Jensen's death grip on his fingers and the shimmering feeling of pure happiness that’s making his chest swell.
Jensen lets go of his hand to get into the passenger seat of Jared's truck, but as soon as Jared is seated behind the wheel, his hand snakes around Jared's thigh, fingers digging into his leg. The ring glints on his finger and Jared grins so widely his jaw aches.
“Is there… Will you have a ring, too?” Jensen asks, looking at Jared's ring-less hand.
“Of course,” Jared's says, reaching over Jensen to pop the glove compartment open and retrieves a second jewellery box, this one red.
He opens the lid and holds it up for Jensen. “Would you do the honor?”
Jensen gets the ring out with trembling fingers and looks inside it. The inscription simply says Jensen because Jared's had the rings for almost a year, knowing that he wanted to pop the question but never really finding the courage or the opportune moment. But if being without Jensen for one week taught him anything, it’s that he never wants to live without him.
“My name,” Jensen says, sounding dazed. “My name against your skin.”
“And mine against yours,” Jared says softly, offering Jensen his left hand.
Jensen slides the ring onto his ring finger and closes Jared's hand with his own. “Jesus,” he chokes, letting go of Jared's thigh to scrub a hand over his eyes. “Jared… I…” Jensen's voice breaks and there’s tears in his eyes.
“What’s wrong?” Jared asks softly, lifting his hand to Jensen's cheek.
“Nothing… I’m just… I couldn’t sleep without you there and it’s been a rough week, and I hate flying, and I never looked worse, and you… you ask me to marry you?”
Jared chuckles, catching the lone tear escaping Jensen's eyes with his thumb. “I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I don’t care what you look like.”
Jensen smiles, pressing his cheek against Jared's hand for a moment. “Let’s go home,” he says.
Jared gives his cheek one last caress before putting his hands back on the wheel. “Yeah,” he says still grinning. “Let’s go home.”
The End
Author: jeyhawk
Pairings/Characters: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC17
Word Count: ~8000.
Summary: Jensen owns a dance school and Jared is a nurse. Will Jensen's insecurities ruin their relationship or can they make it work?
Warnings: AU.
Notes: This is the dance!verse. :0P At some point I will most definitely write the logical sequel to this. You'll get what I mean when you've read it. :0P Written for the j2_diaries prompt dancing using the prompts arabiana wanted for the drabble she won off me (8000+ words is totally a drabble). Also belated Happy Birhtday to Jared. :0)
(Dance is the) hidden language of the soul
Jensen doesn’t want to be a jealous, insecure prick, he really doesn’t, but as soon as Jared runs more than ten minutes late, he’s convinced that he’s cheating. It’s insane, he knows that, but he just can’t shake the feeling that makes the demons of insecurity well up within him, setting his teeth on edge and turning him snappish.
It doesn’t help, exactly, that Jensen has never had a partner that didn’t cheat on him, or that life has an inane tendency to throw him nothing but curveballs. Like his dance-school for example, that’s a curveball right there. Sure the school is doing well, way better than he ever dreamed it would, but he wouldn’t have a dance-school if it wasn’t for the fact that simple misstep fucked up his right knee so that he had to put his dancing shoes on the shelf.
He still dances, as much as his knee will let him get away with, and he teaches the occasional advanced class, but mostly these days he’s a choreographer and a coach. He makes a good living and he loves his job, but whenever he follows one of his couples to a competition he can’t help the pang of near palpable longing to be the one up there in a fancy suit.
Even Jared is a curveball in a way. The first time they met was eight years ago in Brighton, England of all places. Jared had run into him at the beach and one way or another, they had gotten to talking. Jensen had taken an instant linking to the gangly, gorgeous young man and he’d been more than happy to show Jared around.
It had taken a week for Jensen to be sure that the attraction he felt wasn’t just one-sided, and on Jared's last night in Brighton he’d easily seduced him. Being a romantic obnoxious fool, he’d been sure they were meant to be, right up until he found out Jared was just seventeen and not even legal. He’d turned tail and ran without leaving as much as a contact number.
Luck, or maybe it was cosmic justice, had him bumping into Jared again as he walked into Jensen's dance school looking for waltz lessons, and this time Jensen didn’t intend to let him go ever again. It had been a bumpy ride to begin with, especially since Jared had spend the last three years of his life trying hard to forget everything about being gay. But for once, Jensen had been the one winning the grand prize, even beating heavy competition in the guise of Jared's long time girlfriend, Sandy, and he just couldn’t believe it was real.
The sound of Jared putting his key in the lock makes him stiffen and look up from the chart he’s been pretending to work on for the last hour. He puts it to the side and gets up from his chair, walking out into the hall.
“You’re late,” he says, and he can hear the accusation in his own voice.
“Hey, babe, it’s nice to see you, too,” Jared says with something close to exasperation in his voice as he shrugs off his jacket and runs a hand through his hair.
He looks tired and Jensen tries to swallow down his sudden anger. “Why are you late?” he asks and the accusation is still there.
“One of the night nurses was late,” Jared answers, pushing past Jensen and heading for the kitchen.
Jensen follows him with his arms crossed across his chest and his mouth pressed into a tight line. “Again?”
Jared opens the fridge door and starts rummaging around. “Yes, again,” he says softly.
Jensen reaches past him and pulls out a tinfoil-covered plate, balling the tinfoil up and putting the plate into the microwave, putting the time to two minutes. Jared's hopeless; he could have rummaged around the fridge for two hours and still not found the plate Jensen put there for him an hour or so earlier, when he finally gave up on waiting with dinner.
“It’s the third night this week you’re late,” he says, glaring at Jared, trying to gauge his open features for any insincerity.
“Yes, indeed it is,” Jared admits. “On Monday there was an emergency just before I was off the clock, yesterday the night nurse was late. The same nurse, I might add, that was late today. I will talk to the head nurse about it tomorrow, because even though
everyone can be late every now and then, two days in a row is a bit too much.”
“Why couldn’t any of the other nurses stay?” he asks, just as he asked yesterday.
“Because,” Jared says very carefully, “I’m the one that lives closest and didn’t have anywhere urgent to be. Besides, I’m still pretty new and we all know the new people get all the crap.”
The microwave pings and Jared pulls out his steaming plate, putting it on the kitchen island. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m really fucking hungry and I would like to have my food in peace, if that’s not too much to ask.”
Jensen flinches, Jared's words hitting him like a blow to the face. Jared doesn’t look angry, though, just tired, and Jensen slowly backs out of the kitchen. He forces himself to go and sit on the couch, staring at his own hands. He’s acting like an ass, it’s not as if he even honestly thinks Jared is cheating on him, but he just can’t stop poking. It’s like he’s waiting for Jared to blow up, pack his bags and hightail out of Jensen’s life as quickly as he entered it.
The thing is, Jensen is a bottom, always was, always will be, and he likes his guys to be toppy as hell. In his previous experience, toppy also meant mean, but Jared's not like that at all. He’s a top all right, and his touch is quite enough to make Jensen go all goey inside and bend over the nearest flat surface for him, but he’s never mean. Jensen keeps waiting for it, though, keeps waiting for Jared to lash out at him and tell him he’s an insufferable, annoying bitch.
It’s like he’s trying to mould Jared into the frame a lifetime of sucky boyfriends left behind, and so far he hasn’t succeeded. He doesn’t even want to succeed - he wants Jared just the way he is, gentle, sweet and caring. But it’s hard to break old habits, so he keeps pushing, waiting for the blow. He listens to the sounds of Jared eating, cutlery clinking against the plate and then the sound of the plate being washed. He makes no move to walk into the kitchen again. He wants to apologize, but doesn’t know what to say.
He does get up, though, when Jared turns the kitchen stereo on, the sound of Lady In Red filtering out into the living room. He looks down on his red shirt and smiles a little, maybe he doesn’t have to apologize this time.
Jared is leaning against the kitchen island when he walks back into the kitchen, but he pushes himself up as soon as he sees Jensen, opening his arms.
“May I have this dance?” Jared asks softly, and Jensen burrows into his embrace without a word, pressing his face against Jared's chest.
Jared's arms close around him, holding him close as he slowly sways to the beat. Jensen bunches the back of Jared's t-shirt up in his fists and easily moves in step with him. Jared's not a half bad dancer, not like this, but he’s got no passion for it and if you let him loose on a dance floor to any kind of rock beat, his flailing is bound to hurt innocent people.
Jensen doesn’t mind, though. He’s had enough of high strung dancer types who are too wrapped up in themselves to really care about anyone else. He used to be one of them, but he likes to think he’s learned something over the years. Other people might laugh at Jared dancing, but Jensen just watches and thinks he’s all mine. Besides, he’s the only one that gets this, Jared's arms around him and the reassuring thrum of his heart against his nose.
The song changes into Kenny Roger’s rendition of Lady and Jensen smiles against the soft fabric of Jared's t-shirt.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, hoping that Jared can hear his muffled words.
“Me too,” Jared says softly, reaching a hand up to cup the back of Jensen's neck.
Jensen looks up in sudden alarm. What does Jared have to be sorry for? He wasn’t the ass in this equation. Jared just smiles at him, rubbing his thumb over the fine hairs at the back of Jensen's neck.
“I’m sorry it has to be like this,” Jared says softly. “I wish you could just trust me. I love you, Jen, but it’s tiresome to be interrogated every time I come home later than you expected.”
“Don’t leave me,” Jensen squeaks in near panic, cold sweat breaking out all over his body. “Please, Jay… I’ll…”
Jared laughs and shakes his head. “Silly,” he admonishes softly. “It took me eight years to find you, I’m not letting you go again.”
Jensen smiles, trying to pretend it’s not a bit wobbly around the edges and buries his head back in Jared's shirt. The song ends again and this time Jared lets him go. Jensen holds on for a second longer before letting his hands drop, as well. Suddenly he doesn’t know what to do with himself. This, them, is still new and Jared is living with him out of necessity more than anything else. Not that he ever wants Jared to leave, but he can’t find the words to actually say it.
Jared walks over to turn the stereo off and Jensen just watches him.
“Are you looking at apartments tomorrow morning?” he asks, because Jared has been out looking at apartments every morning this week.
“No, don’t think so,” Jared answers, turning around to face him.
“Oh… I thought you wanted to see the one with the tiny kitchen again.”
“I already bought it,” Jared says, and Jensen's heart nearly stops.
“Oh,” he says weakly. “Oh… I thought…”
“What did you think?” Jared asks, moving closer.
“I don’t know,” Jensen whispers, full of despair. That I’d get a chance to stop you.
“I don’t mind when you are clingy,” Jared rumbles, moving into Jensen's personal space and speaking against his ear. “I like it even.”
“Stay,” Jensen says, finally finding his voice. “Please, please, please stay with me.”
“You really want me to live here, with you?”
“Yes,” Jensen exclaims, sliding his arms around Jared's neck. “I don’t want you to move out and I don’t care that it’s stupid and too soon, and every damned idiotic thing anyone can think of. It’s you and me and it’s fucking perfect.”
“All you had to do was ask, you stupid idiot,” Jared says with an obvious grin in his voice, straightening up so suddenly, he hoists Jensen off his feet. Jensen easily wraps his legs around Jared's waist and looks him in the eyes.
“You didn’t buy that stupid apartment,” he says, narrowing his eyes.
Jared laughs and leans their foreheads together, arms wrapped securely around Jensen's back. “No, I didn’t.”
“That was a pretty mean joke to play on me.”
“I’m sorry,” Jared murmurs, leaning even closer so that their lips are almost touching. “I just wanted to be sure.”
Jensen closes the distance between their mouths. He’s tired of talking and it’s been hours upon hours since they last kissed. Jared takes control immediately, his tongue pushing into Jensen's mouth and claiming him in a way that never fails to turn him on. Jared's a fantastic kisser, slow and thorough, messy when he wants to be, but always focused. Jensen could spend days just kissing him, trading slow lazy kisses until he can’t remember his own name.
“Bedroom?” Jared asks when they break apart, as if the erection digging into his stomach isn’t answer enough.
Jensen chuckles and places a wet kiss below Jared's ear. “What do you think?”
~*~
Jared had thought that living with someone new after living with Sandy for almost two years would be hard, but he’d been wrong. Even though his moving in with Jensen had been born out of necessity more than anything else, he’s never been as ecstatically happy. Jensen is everything he ever wanted in a man. Well, he’s the man Jared has been wanting since he was seventeen, and a gorgeous Texan dancer made him realize he was gay.
In a way, he feels cheated out of the eight years they spent apart, when they turned out to be this good together. Shouldn’t they have been together all the time? In another, he thinks that the time they spent apart made them better, more compatible. At seventeen, Jared had still been a child, not sure of what he wanted, or how he wanted it. Even though they had been good together for the brief time they got back then, Jensen was not set to be the bossy one in a relationship, and their dynamic would have been weird in the long run.
Jared is a top. He likes being the dominant one and he thinks that was what made him able to have a relationship with Sandy. It’s not that he likes his men feminine, and he has sure as hell tried all kinds, but he likes it best when he’s the one calling the shots. Now Jensen is a bottom, but a damned pushy one, and he suits Jared better than he ever could have imagined. They just fit somehow and Jensen is insane if he thinks Jared is going to let that go.
“So now that you are going to live here for… uhm… real… Is there anything you’d like to change about the place?” Jensen asks one Saturday afternoon when they are cuddling on the couch with the rain beating against the windowpanes.
Jared blinks and turns his head a little so that he can look at Jensen. “What do you mean, change?”
Jensen smiles a little. “I don’t know… Like decorations or something. Or maybe you’d rather we get another place… you know, together.”
“I like it here,” Jared says, looking around. “It’s cozy and close to the hospital. Besides, it would be pretty stupid for you to move away when you live on top of your dance school.”
“So you want to move alone then?” Jensen asks, chewing at his lower lip.
“Your mother dropped you on your head when you were a child, admit it,” Jared answers in exasperation.
Jensen pinches him in the side. “I’m serious, Jay. I want you to feel like this is your home too, not like you’re living in my home.”
“In that case… We have to get a new bed.”
“What’s wrong with my bed?” Jensen pouts very prettily and Jared has to kiss him for a while, until the pout is gone and Jensen's lips are shiny with his spit.
“Your bed,” he says, “is tiny. It’s not that I don’t love sleeping wrapped around you, but I would love to do it without my feet hanging out.”
“Your feet do not hang out. There’s nothing wrong with my bed.”
“Maybe not…” Jared says. “But I want it to be our bed.”
Jensen's next protest dies on his lips and he pouts again. Jared figures he just does it to get kissed, so he kisses him again, long and slow with his hands cupping the sides of Jensen's face. Jensen is a really fucking awesome kisser and Jared could spend days just kissing him, if it wasn’t for the fact that kissing Jensen makes him think of doing other things to Jensen.
“Okay, we’ll get a new bed,” Jensen says when they break apart.
Jared chuckles, rubbing his thumbs over Jensen's cheekbones. Jensen smiles at him, his eyes going soft.
“You and me,” he murmurs. “It’s for real, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Jared answers. “For real.”
“I mean like… you know… getting married real.”
Jared laughs. “Are you proposing?”
“No… I mean… I just…”
“I would, you know,” Jared says softly. “I’d marry you.”
“Are you proposing?”
Jared smiles a bit crookedly. “Not yet.”
Jensen grins. “But you will.”
Jared just smiles for an answer. He does actually want to marry Jensen, because he’s stupid like that. He doesn’t even care that it isn’t exactly legal, he just wants to do it, make it official, but there are a few issues that need to be addressed first.
The music in the background turns to some slow, lazy song and Jared grins.
“You wanna dance?” he asks softly.
Jensen grins back, all teeth and sparkling eyes. “Only if it’s horizontal.”
With a laugh, Jared flips them over so that he’s on top of Jensen on the couch. “I think I can live with that,” he murmurs before bending down and fusing their lips together.
~*~
Jensen is on his hands and knees in the middle of their brand new bed, naked as the day he was born. He feels oddly exposed, even though the only other person in the room is Jared and he’s naked, too.
“Would you stop staring?” Jensen asks, his voice thick with arousal and something like embarrassment.
“You’re beautiful,” Jared murmurs, putting his large hands on Jensen's ass and pulling the cheeks apart.
Jensen cringes, reflexively trying to pull away. He never really believed that Jared thinks he’s beautiful everywhere. His cock twitches, though, getting even stiffer so that the head is gracing his stomach with every breath. He wishes that Jared would just do something. He’s been standing like this for almost half an hour now, and Jared has done nothing but watch him, grazing his fingers over Jensen's flushed skin every now and then.
Jensen's arms are already trembling and he can hear his pulse roaring in his ears. No one ever made love to him like Jared does. Even when Jared is pounding into him so hard that Jensen almost chokes on his cock, it’s more about love than about fucking. Every gentle touch, and every kiss pressed against sweat damp skin tells him so.
“I love you,” Jensen chokes out, dropping down on his elbows and spreading his legs, letting Jared get his fill of whatever it is he wants to see.
Jared hardly touches him and he feels like he’s about to come, his skin’s too tight and his cock’s leaking precome onto the pristine sheets.
“So hot, baby,” Jared murmurs, letting his hands slide down to grip Jensen's trembling thighs. “So fucking hot for you.”
Jensen makes an embarrassing sound, his hips twitching against nothing as he waits for Jared to do something, anything. Jared shifts behind him and then there is hot air blowing over his hole and he groans deep in his throat. He knows he should be embarrassed about Jared being close enough to smell him there, but the mere thought that Jared is willing to get that up close and personal makes him tremble inside.
The first flick of Jared's tongue over his hole has him keening while a deep blush spreads over his face and down his chest, until he’s sure even his cock is blushing.
“Jared,” he groans, half turned on, half scandalized.
“You taste so good,” Jared murmurs against his skin, his tongue lapping over Jensen's flexing flesh again.
“God,” Jensen moans, his flush deepening.
He screws his eyes shut and wills himself not to think about what Jared is doing, because it feels like heaven. A few more delicate licks have him whimpering with need, rocking his hips shamelessly against Jared's face. He near to chants Jared's name over and over, bunching the sheets up in his hands.
It’s so hot, dirty, wrong and intimate he can hardly breathe, sweat breaking out all over his skin while the muscles of his lower stomach quiver. Jared's hands tighten on his thighs, keeping him still while Jared pushes his tongue inside. With a low keening wail, Jensen's comes, shooting so hard he gets come on his face while his entire body convulses with exquisite pleasure.
Jared presses one last open-mouthed kiss against his flexing opening before straightening up. Jensen collapses on his side, panting for breath, almost dizzy with pleasure. Jared gently nudges him over to his back and Jensen blinks dumbly up at him.
With gentle touches, Jared arranges Jensen's limbs to his liking and Jensen thinks that the reoccurring theme of the evening is exposed. When Jensen is positioned how Jared wants him, Jared drapes himself over Jensen, licking the come from his chin and cheek.
“I understand if you don’t want to kiss me,” Jared murmurs, pressing a kiss to the side of Jensen's jaw, his cock pressing hot and heavy against Jensen's hip.
Jensen knows that he shouldn’t want to, thinks it’s a bit disgusting, even as reaches up to grab Jared's hair and steer his lips right. He sucks hungrily on Jared's tongue, licking the roof of his mouth until Jared no longer tastes like him, but as a mix of them.
Jared grins, big and bright, when they break apart, his lips shiny with spit, and Jensen thinks he’s never been more beautiful. With a last soft kiss, Jared starts moving down his body, dutifully licking the remains of splattered come from Jensen's chest and stomach. Jensen shivers, his cock twitching in a pitiful attempt to rise again.
Jared chuckles, burying his nose in Jensen's thick pubes and rubbing his cheek against his soft cock. “Too soon?” he asks, his breath fanning over Jensen's skin.
“Maybe not,” Jensen rasps, as his cock stiffens slightly.
Jared grins, sucking Jensen's cock into his mouth, tonguing it back into full hardness while Jensen writhes underneath him. It’s almost too much, pleasure sizzling along his sensitized nerve endings, but it’s Jared's mouth, and oh so fucking good. He pushes
himself up on his elbows to be able to see the length of his cock disappearing in between Jared's lips.
Jared looks up as if he can feel him looking, and lets Jensen's cock slip from his lips with a wet pop. He licks his lips with a smile, reaching for the lube on the nightstand. Jensen watches as he pours a generous amount onto his fingers and obligingly spreads his legs even further when Jared nudges him slightly.
“Yeah,” he sighs when the first slick finger slides into him without the slightest twinge of pain. Before Jared, he’d been the type to need lots and lots of preparation, but it’s like he wants Jared within him so much that his body just opens up to his touch. He only needs the most cursory preparation to be able to take Jared's sizable cock, but of course Jared loves his foreplay, so that theory doesn’t get tested very often.
A second finger and even more lube join the first and Jensen shifts his hips impatiently, rocking into Jared's touch. Jared's watching him again, hazel eyes sliding up and down his body while he slowly prepares Jensen. He groans impatiently when Jared's adds a third finger, slowly scissoring them in and out of his body.
“Jesus,” he moans. “Just fuck me, will you?”
Jared huffs out a laugh. “What’s the matter, baby? Don’t you like my fingers?”
“Not… yeah… when you’re being a fucking… tease.”
Jared spreads his fingers slightly, making a ripple of pleasure go through Jensen's body.
“Jared,” he half moans, half whines.
Jared chuckles and gently slides his fingers out. Jensen immediately feels empty, missing the feel of Jared within him, but he knows it’ll soon get even better.
“So hungry for me,” Jared murmurs, reaching for the lube again and getting up on his knees.
Jensen licks his lips as Jared pours a liberal amount of lube into the palm of his hand and reaches down to curl it around his angry looking erection. If he hadn’t been so worked up, he would have loved to watch Jared palm himself until he came all over Jensen's prone body. There is something intensely erotic about the sight of Jared's long fingers wrapped around his cock.
When Jared pulls his hand away, his cock is glistening with lube and his skin is flushed with arousal.
“Gorgeous,” Jensen says, his cock twitching as his eyes slide over Jared's built body. “Fucking gorgeous.”
“You’re one to talk,” Jared answers, moving forward until he’s blanketing Jensen with his body.
Jensen moves his legs up to wrap around Jared's back, shivering when the blunt head of Jared's cock brushes his hole. Jared smiles down at him, pressing a soft kiss to his nose before he reaches down to lead his cock right as he slowly pushes forward. Jensen screws his eyes shut at the initial burn, even though it doesn’t really hurt and Jared pauses once he’s fully buried inside.
“Look at me,” he coaxes, giving Jensen's slightly parted lips a soft kiss.
Jensen blinks his eyes open and smiles. “M’good.”
Jared starts rocking into him, slow and easy at first, giving Jensen time to get used to the intrusion. Jensen slides his hands down to cup his ass, pulling Jared closer and deeper. Jared groans deep in his throat, bending down to give Jensen a messy kiss with
more teeth and tongue than lips.
“Yeah,” Jensen moans, the word eaten by Jared's impatient lips. “God, yeah.”
Jared's rapid panted breaths tell Jensen he’s getting close, thrusting deep and hard into Jensen’s willing body. Every thrust rubs against his prostate and Jensen feels like he’s flying high. He brings one of his hands up to his mouth, getting his fingers nice and
wet before reaching down again, sliding his fingers in between Jared's ass cheeks and brushing against his hole.
Jared groans, pushing back against Jensen's fingers and forward into his tight heat. It’s a bit of a struggle to reach, but the sounds Jared’s making are well worth the strain on his muscles. He can’t really push his finger into Jared from this angle, but he keeps
rubbing his fingers over his opening, touching and teasing him until Jared's hips stutter and he buries himself balls deep in Jensen as he comes.
Jensen keeps up his gentle teasing until Jared collapses on top of him with a groan, pushing the breath out of his lungs. His own cock is pounding, hot and hard, against Jared's stomach, and he wriggles his hand in between them.
“Jesus,” Jared moans, his hips twitching.
He pushes himself up on his elbows to be able to look down between them to Jensen's hand wrapped around his own cock. He lowers himself and easily rolls them over, crushing Jensen's hand between them.
“Ride me,” he says, his voice hoarse and ragged.
Jensen grins, sitting up on his haunches and letting his pounding cock go for the time being. Jared is still half hard within him and being the freak of nature that he is, Jensen's sensuous rocking soon has him growing to full hardness again. Jensen throws his head back and squeezes his eyes shut, focusing on the delicious feel of Jared inside him.
He groans when Jared grips his hips, forcing him to keep a slow, steady rhythm, more grinding than actual riding. Jared feels huge within him and pleasure’s sizzling through his body, coiling in his stomach. He reaches for his cock, but Jared stops him with a touch to his wrist.
He blinks his eyes open to find Jared watching him, hazel eyes almost black with pleasure. His skin is flushed pink and sweat is glistening on his chest. Jared's rocking into him, twisting his hips to get even deeper, but his grip on Jensen's hips still keep him from just letting himself go, fucking himself on Jared's cock.
“Please,” Jensen pants. “Please… Jay… Just let me…”
He reaches for his cock again, desperate to just come already, but Jared stops him this time, too.
“Not yet,” he says.
Jensen whimpers hoarsely, the need to come is the only thing he can think of. He tries to up the pace, riding Jared harder, but Jared's hands tighten on his hips, keeping him still.
“Jared,” he whines. “Pleaseeee.”
Jared licks his lips, his mouth open around his harsh breaths. “Just a little more,” he moans. “I’m getting… yeah… close…”
Jensen tightens his muscles, milking Jared's cock as good as he can. Jared groans, giving Jensen a little more leeway to ride him, but not enough to finally let him get off.
“God, baby… you’re so fucking huge… filling me so good…” Jensen pants. “I love it when you fuck me… so fucking… yeah… good.”
“Jesus,” Jared groans and he finally lets go of Jensen's hips in favor of snaking a hand around his neck and pulling him down for a wet, dirty kiss.
“Yeah,” Jensen groans, gripping Jared's shoulder to get leverage as he rides Jared harder and faster, lifting himself almost off before slamming back down.
Jared pants his name over and over, lifting his hips to meet every down stroke until Jensen's head is lolling with every thrust. It feels so fucking good, Jensen can’t even think straight, he wants to grip his rock hard, leaking cock and just finish himself off, but when he tries he almost topples over.
Whimpering with his need to come, he lets himself fall forward until he’s more or less lying on top of Jared, his cock leaving a wet trail on Jared's sweaty abs.
“That’s it, baby,” Jared's groans. “Yeah… god… yeah…”
Jensen wails when Jared suddenly rolls them over again, fucking him deep and hard until he can’t even scream anymore. When Jared finally takes pity on him, wrapping a huge sweaty hand around Jensen's cock, he comes and comes and comes and comes so hard that he finally passes out.
When he comes back to himself, Jared is curled up beside him, stroking his sweaty hair with a trembling hand.
“Wake up, Jen,” he’s whispering. “Please, baby.”
Jensen blinks his eyes open and turns his head to look at him. “Hey,” he says.
Jared's frown turns into a relieved smile and Jensen finds himself being kissed within an inch of his life.
“Don’t ever do that to me again,” Jared says weakly. “You scared the shit out me.”
Jensen smiles lazily. “Don’t let me wait so long next time and I might not come so hard.”
“Jesus…” Jared huffs out a breath, burying his head against Jensen's neck. “I thought I fucking killed you.”
Jensen laughs. “Killed by the mighty Padalecki cock.”
“It’s not funny. I was sure you’d had an aneurysm or something.”
Jensen suddenly realizes that Jared isn’t joking; he really did think he’d killed Jensen. “I’m sorry, babe,” Jensen murmurs, reaching up to pet Jared's sweat soaked hair. “I didn’t mean to.”
“I know you didn’t,” Jared huffs against his skin. “You just scared me, that’s all.”
“So… uh… did you…”
“Yeah,” Jared says wryly. “And believe me, if I actually had killed you… that would have tortured me to the day I died.”
Jensen chuckles, wrapping his arms around Jared and giving him a tight hug. “We should shower,” he says.
“Yeah,” Jared agrees, reluctantly getting out of Jensen's embrace.
Jared puts the bathroom radio on before they get into the shower and they end up with their arms wrapped around each other, swaying slowly to the beat of some romantic ballad while the water beats down on their skin. Jensen doesn’t think he’s ever been so happy and he tightens his hold on Jared's slippery skin, grinning with his entire face.
“Love you,” he says softly.
“You too,” Jared answers, pressing a kiss to his ear.
It’s eerily like he’s living in a dance themed romantic comedy, and he never ever wants it to end. He doesn’t care if he loses his dance school, his home and the clothes on his back. As long as he still got Jared, nothing else matters.
~*~
It’s Friday night and Jared is in a bar having drinks with Chad. It’s one of those upscale places that Chad loves and Jared just feels uncomfortable in, but then their friendship always was an unlikely one. Chad’s got flash, expensive clothes, fast cars, beautiful women, while Jared is a gay male nurse that would slob around in sweats and torn t-shirts if Jensen didn’t force some style on him.
He hooks a finger under the collar of his dress shirt for the millionth time, trying to loosen its vice like grip of his poor defenseless throat. He felt really stupid back home when he was putting on a goddamned suit, the same he wore to Chad’s wedding, just to have a few drinks with his best friend, especially since Jensen wasn’t home to appreciate it.
Jensen had been away for over a week and wasn’t expected home until Sunday, and it was desperate loneliness more than any need to be out and about that had made Jared agree to this outing. He wasn’t used to being on his own any more and he missed Jensen like a limb.
Chad chuckles, giving him a slanted look. “Let me guess, you’re thinking about Jen again, aren’t you?”
Jared looks sheepish. “Yeah… Sorry.”
Chad just shakes his head and looks down on his drink. “I envy you,” he says softly. “It seems so easy for you guys.”
Jared blinks. “You envy me? Who are you and what have you done to my best friend?”
Chad smiles a little, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “We’re getting divorced.”
“Oh… I’m sorry, man.” Jared can’t say his surprised. He’s rather surprised they lasted this long.
Chad shrugs. “Not your fault.”
“Did something happen, or did you just… run out of love?”
Chad snorts. “Well… She ran out of love for me, at any rate.”
“Oh, that hurts.”
“Yeah…” Chad looks up from his froofy drink and pins Jared with a look. “Have you talked to Sandy lately?”
Jared shakes his head. He tried to keep in touch with Sandy for a while after they broke up, guilt making him want to ease the transition for her, but eventually he realized that he was only prolonging the pain for her and hurting Jensen, to boot. The fact that Jensen had been foremost on his mind had made him feel even more like an ass, but he’d made his choice and he’d deserved every bit of discomfort he experienced.
They still exchanged Christmas cards and he’d run into her at the hospital once in a while, but other than that, he’d hardly spoken to her for a year.
“Yeah, well, apparently your fall back into rainbow land inspired her.”
“You mean…”
“Yeah.” Chad makes a face. “Sandy and Sophia.”
Jared blinks. “Jesus.”
“That’s one way to put it.”
Jared signals a passing waiter to bring them another round of drinks and settles back into his chair. Sandy gay, who would have thought?
*
It’s much later when Jared finally finds his way back home and he’s got a pleasant buzz going. He’s not half as drunk as Chad was when he poured him into a cab, though, and he almost feels bad for not suggesting he stay over. It’s just that Jensen worries about these things and Jared doesn’t want to cause him any unnecessary pain.
Sure, Jensen knows Chad and he knows that Jared does so not want to sleep with him, but his over active imagination is bound to start pulling up worst case scenarios anyway. Sometimes it gets to Jared that Jensen doesn’t fully trust him, even after almost two years, but he supposes life just fucked Jensen over one too many times.
He pulls his phone out of his pocket and hits speed-dial one. He hasn’t quite figured out the time difference, but he supposes it’s morning in England where Jensen is.
“Yeah?” Jensen answers sounding preoccupied.
“Hey, baby. I miss you so damned much,” he says, letting his voice drop to low and sultry.
There is a clatter on the other end and then Jensen makes a sound half way between a curse and a laugh.
“I’ll call you back in five minutes,” he says and then the line goes dead.
Jared grins to himself and uses his five minutes to get out of the suit and brush his teeth. He settles into bed just as Jensen calls him back.
“Hey,” he answers.
“Hey,” Jensen says and Jared can actually hear him smiling.
“I’m home now.” The pillow feels awful good under Jared’s head and it still smells faintly like Jensen’s after shave.
“You drunk?”
“A little… Chad’s getting divorced.”
“Oh… I… How’s he taking it?”
“Pretty well, I guess… Apparently, Sophia is leaving him for Sandy.”
“What? That’s… Really?”
“Yeah.”
Jared lets Jensen process the news, rolling over on his side and pressing his nose against the pillowcase.
“How are you taking it?” Jensen asks.
“Taking what?” Jared counter-asks, sniffling the pillowcase to chase the lingering scent of Jensen. “God, I miss you.”
“You do?” Jensen sounds stupidly pleased, like Jared hasn’t told him every day.
“Yeah.”
“I miss you, too.”
Jared smiles, pressing the phone a little tighter to his ear. “Want me to pick you up on Sunday?”
There’s a brief pause. “No… It’s easier if I catch a ride with Jason and Danneel.”
“Okay. So how are you holding up?”
“What? I’m fine.”
“Mmmhmmm.”
“It’s just… It stings, you know? I’m really happy to be here cheering for them, but…” Jensen trails off.
“It should have been you,” Jared fills in. Jensen doesn’t answer and Jared sighs. “I love you,” he offers, even though he knows that his love is not much in the face of what a simple misstep cost Jensen.
“I love you, too. You just…” Jensen inhales raggedly. “You just… understand.”
Jared does understand; he was the one that told Jensen it was a really stupid idea when Jason and Danneel approached him looking for a new coach and choreographer. Of course Jensen hadn’t listened to him, and in a way Jared understood why he had
agreed; he just didn’t like what it was doing to Jensen. Danneel had been Jensen’s partner while he was still in the circuit and Jason and his old partner had been their worst opponents.
Jared hadn’t been around at the time, but it was obvious that Danneel turning to Jason once Jensen was out of the game had hurt him, and in a way it had been resurrection when they turned to him for coaching. In another way it just meant he was
constantly reminded of what he couldn’t have anymore.
“You know what?” Jensen asks. “Screw them. I got the best damned dance partner in the world.”
Jared laughs, grinning into the dark of their bedroom. “As long as you don’t mind never dancing anything but slow dance and waltz.”
“Hey, you’re getting pretty good at the tango, too.”
“You only say that because I tip you into bed and fuck you blind every time I grow frustrated with my own lack of coordination.”
“That should totally be an approved move,” Jensen chuckles.
Jared grins. “Yeah, but it might be a bit bothersome to dance around the beds.”
Jensen laughs and the sound makes Jared feel a bit better. He hates thinking about Jensen being lonely and sad when he’s not there to kiss it all better.
“I gotta go,” Jensen says. ”They’re up soon and there’s bound to be some last minute emergencies.”
“Okay, babe. Wish them luck from me.”
“I will. Love you.”
“Love you.”
The line goes dead and Jared puts the phone on the nightstand before burying his head in the pillow again. Jensen will be home soon and all will be right with the world.
*
Jared knows Jensen better than Jensen think he does, maybe even better than Jensen knows himself. So when Jensen told him it was better to catch a ride with Jason and Danneel, Jared didn’t believe him for a second. Of course it would have been a whole lot more practical, especially since the flight turns out to be three hours delayed. However, showing up at the airport means that he cares, and besides, Jared can’t fucking wait a minute longer than necessary to see Jensen.
Waiting turns out to be hellish, though, even though he buys himself a book and settles down in one of the many coffee shops to read it. He just doesn’t like the thought of Jensen being on a plane and he finds himself picturing all kinds of worst-case scenarios.
Whenever the nervous energy goes through the roof and his legs start jittering, he manages to calm himself by touching his pocket, letting his finger trace the square jewellery box hidden in its depth, because he’s been nervous about popping the question a whole lot longer than he’s been nervous about Jensen dying in a plane crash.
Eventually the plane does touch down, though, and Jared moves towards the arrivals right away, positioning himself halfway behind a pillar as a he waits for people to start walking out. It takes forever and then some, but then people start trickling out through the doors and Jared pulls himself up to his full height, easily looking over the heads of the people surrounding him.
He spots Jensen as soon as he walks out, and the relieved rush that goes through him makes his knees weak and his heart stutter. Somehow he didn’t truly believe that Jensen would really be back until he saw him. He moves into the shadow as Jensen's eyes furtively scan the crowd, disappointment clouding his features for a moment when he doesn’t spot Jared. Then Jason says something, Daneelle’s hand clutched tightly in his, and Jared can see that smile Jensen puts on is entirely fake.
Even from across the hall, Jared can see how tired Jensen looks, lines marring his normally smooth complexion and he decides that the hiding is over. He carelessly pushes his way to the front of the crowd, keeping his eyes on Jensen the entire time. As if Jensen can feel him, he looks up and spots Jared right away. He blinks a couple of times, like he can’t believe his eyes, and then he grins so brightly that Jared gets an urge to shield his eyes.
Jensen drops his bags to the floor and starts walking towards him and Jared moves faster until he’s almost running. They meet in the middle of the floor and Jared catches Jensen in his arms, holding him tight. Jensen's fingers wind themselves in the back of his shirt, just hanging on, and he can feel Jensen trembling minutely.
“You came,” Jensen murmurs against his shirt and Jared hugs him a little tighter.
“Marry me,” he blurts out, his voice sounding raw and edgy.
Jensen loosens his hold of Jared's shirt enough to be able to look up at him. “What?” he asks, his green eyes full of hopeful confusion behind his wire rimmed glasses.
“Marry me,” Jared repeats, louder and surer.
Jensen licks his lips, his freckles standing out in stark relief against his pale skin. “I… What?”
Jared smiles softly. “I said…” he bends down, pressing his lips to Jensen's ear. “Marry me.”
Jensen's trembling is getting a lot more pronounced as the seconds pass, and Jared is vaguely aware of Jason and Danneel walking up to them with Jensen's bags.
“What?” Jensen asks again, his voice barely a whisper.
Jared grins, letting his arms drop from Jensen's back in favor of getting down on one knee, pulling the jewellery box from his pocket. He’s pretty sure that people are watching them and a few of them might have issues with what they are witnessing, but he can’t bring himself to care. People will always have issues; it doesn’t really matter.
“Jensen Ackles,” he says, looking up at Jensen's pale face. “Will you marry me?”
He opens the box and holds it up for Jensen, who is looking like he might faint any minute. Jensen's mouth opens and closes a few times without any sound coming out until he finally finds his voice.
“Yes,” he says, his voice raw with emotion. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
Jared hardly hears the smatter of applause as he bounces to his feet again and pulls Jensen into his arms, pressing a kiss to his soft lips.
“I’m gonna make you so happy,” he murmurs against Jensen's ear, hugging him so hard he’s surprised that Jensen doesn’t protest.
“You already do,” Jensen says, sounding dazed and out of breath.
Jared releases him, looking down into his too beautiful face. “Let’s go home.”
Jensen nods and smiles, his eyes shining with emotion. Jared suddenly remembers the box still in his hand, the corners of it digging into his palm. He takes the ring out, keeping it between his thumb and forefinger. Jensen licks his lips and the hand he offers Jared is shaking visibly. Keeping their eyes locked, Jared slides the white gold band onto Jensen's ring finger, unable to stop smiling at how perfect it looks there.
The ring is broad and shining, with a simple wave-like engraving that made Jared think of rhythm when he picked it out. Jensen is staring at it like it’s gonna eat his finger and Jared covers his hand with his own.
“Love you.”
Jensen blinks up at him without saying anything. Jared chuckles, ruffling his hair with his free hand to lighten the mood. When Jensen still just stares at him, Jared figures it’s time to take him home.
He gets Jensen's bags from Daneell and Jason, the two of them offering the warmest congratulations, Dannell looking so excited she’s fairly bouncing. She looks at Jensen, who’s keeping a tight grip on Jared's hand, staring off into space, seemingly unaware
that they are even there.
“I don’t think he’s slept very much during the trip,” she says. “I know for sure he didn’t sleep on the plane.”
Jared nods. He figured as much. “I’ll take care of him,” he promises, hoisting Jensen's carry on bag onto his shoulder and taking the wheeled one in his free hand.
“See you around,” he says as way of goodbye.
“Yeah,” Jason responds, tilting his head in an off hand wave.
Jared more or less drags Jensen with him to the car, the only thing reminding him that Jensen is still with him is Jensen's death grip on his fingers and the shimmering feeling of pure happiness that’s making his chest swell.
Jensen lets go of his hand to get into the passenger seat of Jared's truck, but as soon as Jared is seated behind the wheel, his hand snakes around Jared's thigh, fingers digging into his leg. The ring glints on his finger and Jared grins so widely his jaw aches.
“Is there… Will you have a ring, too?” Jensen asks, looking at Jared's ring-less hand.
“Of course,” Jared's says, reaching over Jensen to pop the glove compartment open and retrieves a second jewellery box, this one red.
He opens the lid and holds it up for Jensen. “Would you do the honor?”
Jensen gets the ring out with trembling fingers and looks inside it. The inscription simply says Jensen because Jared's had the rings for almost a year, knowing that he wanted to pop the question but never really finding the courage or the opportune moment. But if being without Jensen for one week taught him anything, it’s that he never wants to live without him.
“My name,” Jensen says, sounding dazed. “My name against your skin.”
“And mine against yours,” Jared says softly, offering Jensen his left hand.
Jensen slides the ring onto his ring finger and closes Jared's hand with his own. “Jesus,” he chokes, letting go of Jared's thigh to scrub a hand over his eyes. “Jared… I…” Jensen's voice breaks and there’s tears in his eyes.
“What’s wrong?” Jared asks softly, lifting his hand to Jensen's cheek.
“Nothing… I’m just… I couldn’t sleep without you there and it’s been a rough week, and I hate flying, and I never looked worse, and you… you ask me to marry you?”
Jared chuckles, catching the lone tear escaping Jensen's eyes with his thumb. “I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I don’t care what you look like.”
Jensen smiles, pressing his cheek against Jared's hand for a moment. “Let’s go home,” he says.
Jared gives his cheek one last caress before putting his hands back on the wheel. “Yeah,” he says still grinning. “Let’s go home.”
The End