[Pin] [NC-17] Assassins!

[bumped]

Recipient: shinigami_00

Title: Assassins!
Group/Pairing(s): KAT-TUN and NEWS featured, pairing is Jin/Yamapi (Pin).
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Oh, man, how to summarise. They play Assassins. What else can I say.
Warnings/Notes: Um, I should say that this fic was prompted by this Summary backstage clip. What happens in it is that Tego starts to wind Jin up, and a

Comments

I LOVE YOU EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE

[twirlingleaves]

THIS IS SO AWESOME I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. THIS WHOLE CONCEPT IS WONDERFUL. ASSASSINS!!!

and brushes up on a book he bought on Amazon. Your Guide to Vanquishing Vampires. DIES DIES DIES UEDA IS A VAMPIRE DIES.

OMG UEDA'S HOUSE. GACKT SHRINE. SECRET CORRIDORS. Yamapi turns around in four complete circles, gawking at the light fixture above his head. His house is tiny in comparison. For a horrible, fleeting second he wonders whether Ueda is living with Johnny himself, as some sort of Gothic Lolita loveslave. Images, images, bad images run rampant in his brain until he makes a squawking sort of noise that startles everyone around him. OHMYGOD YOU KILL ME. GOTHIC LOLITA LOVESLAVE. DIES.

THE "DO NOT LET ME DOWN" SIGN!

Yamapi goes back to bed with a bit of a hard on, but a smug smile on his face. OHMYGOD AHAHA JIN SLEEPING NAKED OH YAMAPI. And I love the whole thing where Yamapi shoves the envelope down Jin's pants and Jin's fingertips brushing Yamapi's hipbone. *_______*

And oh my god this bit cracked me up so much: Ryo's iPod is black and its engraving reads, 'Der der, der der. Der der.' / That makes no sense whatsoever. / “It's the Jaws theme, idiot.” Ryo says, later. IT'S SO RANDOM BUT SO FRIGGIN' RYO AND JUST SO GODDAMN HILARIOUS. Oh god. ♥

AND THEN YOUR TEGOSHI, I LOVE YOUR TEGOSHI, YOUR TEGOSHI IS SO AWESOME. Tego would tear it to pieces and then sell it, broken up, to the highest bidders. SO. AWESOME. I always adore not-as-innocent-as-he-looks!Tegoshi (or just plain psycho!Tegoshi). And ahahaha “'Least I'm gonna be taller than you someday.” Oh Tego ilu. ♥

Ryo snoring is one of the more frightening images he's ever seen. As if the sound comes out triangular, all warped and strange. He smiles in his sleep. RYO SNORING, THAT IS SUCH A HILARIOUS IMAGE. I can't stop laughing. YOU WIN.

AND lakjdf;jkjkajksdjf the Yamapi masturbating in the shower thing ohmygod dying. *__________* About the way he buries down, nose-deep, mouth-full, lips-tight. Eyes-black. About the way he sucks, like it's the task he's been set on Earth to do, but with that edge of clumsiness because he's Jin and Jin is never perfect, ever, just enthusiastic and a little bit out of control. SO HOT laksjdkjasd.

He isn't really cut out for assassins, anyway. Cake is something he's cut out for. DIES JIN IS CUT OUT FOR CAKE. HOW CAN ANYONE BE CUT OUT FOR CAKE. JIN IS SO AMAZING ILU. <3

And lololol the worst assassination speech ever. I ESPECIALLY ADORE THIS: HAHAHAHAHAHA. YAMAPI IS THE KING OF THE WORLD. Yamapi ftw.

And again your Tegoshi kills me dead: What can I say, I'm young, easily led. Impressionable. Fickle. Must be the hormones. Can't help it.

Food is friendship is love. Smiles are friendship are love. Cream on fingertips is friendship is love. The problem is that cream on fingertips is also arousing. Arousing friendship is sex, not love. CAN I JUST SAY I LOVE YAMAPI'S LOGIC. Makes a lot of sense. And this whole cake and cream thing makes me want to keysmash a lot but at the same time it is SO CUTE, somehow.

“Sex sex?” Yamapi says. / “Sex sex sex?” Jin echoes, as if it's a tongue-twister or a rhyming game. DEAD DEAD DEAD AND THEN THE SEX ACTUALLY COMES AND I DIE SOME MORE. Because it is hot. Very hot. And awesome. So utterly awesome. And this, too:

He gently presses inside until Yamapi digs his nails into Jin's shoulders and hisses, “yyynargh.” / What he means, really, is, 'stay like that for two hours and don't move until that's up because fuckdamnit, nothing has ever hurt this much in my entire life, not even wearing blue PVC, and if you weren't my best friend in the whole world I'd punch you in the face for doing this to me.' Alkjdf;ajdkfjskdjf PI. OH GOD I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH IT IS SO BRILLIANT AND WONDERFUL. *_____*

(tbc)

I LOVE YOU EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE (cont.!)

[twirlingleaves]

“Sprouts,” he stutters. “Sprouts don't turn me on.” / “Think about sprouts, then,” Yamapi says, slowly flexing his hips, gasping. Jin grunts. “Sprouty, sprouty. All green and round. And nasty-tasting.” / “I want to fuck you,” Jin says. “You feel so good.” AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME. SPROUTY SPROUTY SPROUTY. OHMYGOD. MY BRAIN. THIS FIC IS EATING ME ALIVE. ♥

And then Uchi is killed by THE WOODEN STAKE which was meant to vanquish UEDA THE VAMPIRE and oh god. Just. Dead. AND THE ENDING OMG "WHO ARE YOU" OMG OMG I LOVE YOU. ♥♥♥!!! This is possibly the most awesome fic ever ever and I am going to reread it now.

♥