bored.
I'm at school, right now bored out of my mind, and actually sick of checking my myspace, so i figured, perfect time for an update right? Ok. So not much of anything has been going on lately. I had to cut my work schedule down to sat, sun, and mon still about 25 hours... which sucks because i love my job and i actually miss not being there... crazy, but i get paid to read books, and shoot pictures of little kids, who would hate that? But yeaaaah back to school, I love all my classes this semster although its long hours tues from 11-6:30 and thurs 11-8 but its only 2 days a week and it goes by fast, when classes arent cancelled and im not in the library checking my email and myspace 50000 times. lol.
Random question? Why is it that people always feel the need to come to me with relationship advice? I dont mind it, and i'll offer the best advice I can, but why me? Am i a shining example of a happy relationship? Not exactly.
I may be able to tell you how to avoid potentionally great relationships, how to pick fights with great guys that ruin your chances of a future potential relationship, how to be scared shitless of a relationship, how to be completely in love with someone and afraid to tell them because every guy you've ever loved has gone way out of their way to purposly hurt you, I can tell you when to end it, how to end it, and why to end it. But I cant give you any happy advice, because thats the most pessimistic part of me. My grey area. The one area I personally want nothing more to excell in, but cant. So unless you want to take a chance that my advice might be the wrong advice, I suggest you dont ask for it.
As for everything else in my life, there is nothing else. I feel like I dont have time to do anything. I do have wed and fridays off, but they're often filled with meaningless chores and tasks.
I'm begining to feel fake. not like non exsisting, but more like Im not the person I portray myself as. like the kind of people I claim to hate. I might still say what I feel, and not give a shit what anyone else thinks of me. But i feel like maybe i'm not as optimistic as my personality makes me out to be. I'm constantly cheering people up and singing and laughing but at the same time. I hate myself for feeling like i hate to laugh or sing. moment where i just dont want to talk to anyone or do anything but crawl in bed and wait for everything to pass, maybe its just because things have been so shitty lately, but not really. I mean i just feel like it is because i have nothing going for me, and i'm in debt up to my forehead, but it feels like more than money issues, Almost like i'm too dependent on other people, that it sucks knowing i couldnt do anything on my own. right. this is becoming too emo for me. so im gonna go check my myspace again, and then face the rain and go get my photo shiz out of my car.... maybe i'll buy an umbrella! lol <3 one that proudly displays that i go to CCRI!
Random question? Why is it that people always feel the need to come to me with relationship advice? I dont mind it, and i'll offer the best advice I can, but why me? Am i a shining example of a happy relationship? Not exactly.
I may be able to tell you how to avoid potentionally great relationships, how to pick fights with great guys that ruin your chances of a future potential relationship, how to be scared shitless of a relationship, how to be completely in love with someone and afraid to tell them because every guy you've ever loved has gone way out of their way to purposly hurt you, I can tell you when to end it, how to end it, and why to end it. But I cant give you any happy advice, because thats the most pessimistic part of me. My grey area. The one area I personally want nothing more to excell in, but cant. So unless you want to take a chance that my advice might be the wrong advice, I suggest you dont ask for it.
As for everything else in my life, there is nothing else. I feel like I dont have time to do anything. I do have wed and fridays off, but they're often filled with meaningless chores and tasks.
I'm begining to feel fake. not like non exsisting, but more like Im not the person I portray myself as. like the kind of people I claim to hate. I might still say what I feel, and not give a shit what anyone else thinks of me. But i feel like maybe i'm not as optimistic as my personality makes me out to be. I'm constantly cheering people up and singing and laughing but at the same time. I hate myself for feeling like i hate to laugh or sing. moment where i just dont want to talk to anyone or do anything but crawl in bed and wait for everything to pass, maybe its just because things have been so shitty lately, but not really. I mean i just feel like it is because i have nothing going for me, and i'm in debt up to my forehead, but it feels like more than money issues, Almost like i'm too dependent on other people, that it sucks knowing i couldnt do anything on my own. right. this is becoming too emo for me. so im gonna go check my myspace again, and then face the rain and go get my photo shiz out of my car.... maybe i'll buy an umbrella! lol <3 one that proudly displays that i go to CCRI!