rain rain go away
i woke up at about 6:30. i couldn't sleep because everytime i layed down, i had to vomit. so, i just sat up in bed with the trashcan and read my book. i opted not to get dressed today, which makes day 3 that i've been wearing these clothes and day 3 that i haven't showered. i don't give a fuck either. at about 9 conn, missy and linda were going to eat. my dad told me i should go with them, so i went. i ordered my standard bagel with cream cheese and then excused myself to go sit outside (the smoke, small space and heat was getting to me) so i sat outside the dallas diner watching the rain, looking at things and watching people.i grabbed my camera and got some really great shots. i came home and threw up the half of bagel i ate and then fell asleep on the couch.
i really missy my girls. i'm jelous and happy for kara and kat. they got to go to kiwah. they had so much fun. i envy people that are having a good summer. i can't wait to get home. i can't wait for school to start.
i'm afraid that when miranda gets back, she will be disappointed. i went to NCSA to see her and she was so fucking happy. i feel like after she gets back from there, and leaves all those kick ass people, and straigh guys, northwest will be no longer good for her. most people are too good for northwest, but, lets face it, its home. i feel like we can't compare to all the great people she met there. i feel like when she gets home, all of us will just be the friends she has to settle with because we aren't as good as her ncsa. i'm sad that i feel this way because she is having such a great time, and i'm sitting here thinking about the negative things. i'm really glad she went though
i'm just sad i guess.
i had a dream about blaine last night. he told me he was sorry for the shit that happend with summer. it was weird. why do i still care?