when my fall was over i looked up and the sky was black
Life lately has been different from the norm, not by the activities I have participated in, but in how I am feeling emotionally.
I've felt so cut out from the world. I'm starting to think I have no hormones. The usual flirty feelings or any attraction to any guy is gone. I feel completely numb. Surprisingly it's not that bad, weird and highly unlike me.. but not bad..
I guess the reason I've been feeling like this lately is..
Recently, I've been missing Stephan more than anything. Every now and then, I'll start crying or thinking about him out of no where. It's really painful missing something you will never get back. I really just wish I could have another chance, although there is no point agonizing over this, I'm just hurting myself more in the long run. He's always in my mind and I can't forget about him, to get anything accomplished I just have to block that section of my brain for the time being. So on that note, forcing myself to concoct a new topic.
Last night, after eating with Jaimie and Lex on Austin Street. We went to Sam Ash where I picked up my bass. It was so funny seeing Lex and I carry that down Queens Blvd. and on to the Q10. The people on the bus were giving us the nastiest looks. Love yah Lex! Than Lex slept over, and today I had soccer and played with my bass.
I dont know. . I guess I'll just take one day at a time and try to force myself to enjoy myself.. ttyl