Holy shnikes.
Well,
I have to say being on the boat is the most stressful thing ever. I also makes it more stressful when your "single" in the coast guard because having a girlfriend doesnt account for anything. I would love the boat if i was single. Not if i was dumped by ally single. or if i dumped ally single. but coming here with never having a long-term relationship. I'm going to panama next patrol so hopefully me and ally are doing ok, because thats the last place i would want to go if things went sour.
So anyways I feel bad that ally keeps telling me she loves me more than anything and wants to be with me and I freak out thinking we are on the brink of ending it all. It's ever since that one email she sent me. Also we I have time to talk to her she is usually busy which is weird for me becuase when she used to be busy she was always able to find a way to talk to me or something like that. I just don't hear that I miss you soo much voice. I hate this feeling becuase i'm driving her away because im soo all over her and wanting to talk to her all the time. AND when i see pictures of her with friends or places I puts this gap in my heart for the fact that i wasnt there or didnt know who she was with, talking to, or hanging out with. I trust her alot but like i said the last email scared me so much that I feel like i dont know this "ally". Sitting on this boat is just killing me. this import will be miserable. I hope i get to spend some quality time with her when she comes and we figure out everything that is going on. The other part that freaks me out is that she has become comfortable without me. But when she comes up here she has to get a new job, come to a new school, get new friends and deal with me being gone from up here. which most of it I dont see there being a problem just the fact that she will be uncomfortable not being home(tampa). Everytime i talk about this it's the same ole thing and she gets upset when i keep rambling on about it.
It's weird I cheated on her and she wanted to be with me soo bad and wouldn't give up on loosing me. Now I'm away and I miss her soo bad that i feel like im pushing her away. We bring all this old stuff up. It's weird I can explain everything on how i feel and how everything is going but it would take forever. Alot of people on the boat are telling me this is just "cutterstress" and it happens to alot of guys. And if she is a real keeper and you love her don't loose her over insecurity and jealously. The only other thing i can do is make sure that she WANTS to move up here and its not me pressuring her at all.
So here is something for you to read ally. I want to be with you. I want you to be here. I want you to be happy. Thats all i want. I'm sorry I've been a mess up here. But like you said. You know how it feels. I'm not asking for your sympathy. I'm just hoping that I'm blowing this all out of order and that this is part of my depressed anixienty (sp chk?) that i've hit in the last month or so. I love you ally.
OK so asides from all of that for the rest of you...
I bought a 2004 F-150 FX4.
I moved to Portsmouth/Norfolk, VA.
I Live in a barracks room.
I'm waiting for Basic Allowance for Housing so ally can move in.
I'm getting a tat in May/June. (salvador dali- the ship.)
I'm in this state of depression.
I miss my family and best friends.
I miss florida.
I like being on a boat....
but rather be home more often.
I Will make E-4 (Petty Officer 3rd class soon Aug 22nd, 2008.)
While on patrol I went to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba., Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic. And back home a few times. Next patrol Im suppose to go to panama.
Interdicted 263 migrants during this patrol and found a felon with a warrant for homocide and that about it for me.
I have to say being on the boat is the most stressful thing ever. I also makes it more stressful when your "single" in the coast guard because having a girlfriend doesnt account for anything. I would love the boat if i was single. Not if i was dumped by ally single. or if i dumped ally single. but coming here with never having a long-term relationship. I'm going to panama next patrol so hopefully me and ally are doing ok, because thats the last place i would want to go if things went sour.
So anyways I feel bad that ally keeps telling me she loves me more than anything and wants to be with me and I freak out thinking we are on the brink of ending it all. It's ever since that one email she sent me. Also we I have time to talk to her she is usually busy which is weird for me becuase when she used to be busy she was always able to find a way to talk to me or something like that. I just don't hear that I miss you soo much voice. I hate this feeling becuase i'm driving her away because im soo all over her and wanting to talk to her all the time. AND when i see pictures of her with friends or places I puts this gap in my heart for the fact that i wasnt there or didnt know who she was with, talking to, or hanging out with. I trust her alot but like i said the last email scared me so much that I feel like i dont know this "ally". Sitting on this boat is just killing me. this import will be miserable. I hope i get to spend some quality time with her when she comes and we figure out everything that is going on. The other part that freaks me out is that she has become comfortable without me. But when she comes up here she has to get a new job, come to a new school, get new friends and deal with me being gone from up here. which most of it I dont see there being a problem just the fact that she will be uncomfortable not being home(tampa). Everytime i talk about this it's the same ole thing and she gets upset when i keep rambling on about it.
It's weird I cheated on her and she wanted to be with me soo bad and wouldn't give up on loosing me. Now I'm away and I miss her soo bad that i feel like im pushing her away. We bring all this old stuff up. It's weird I can explain everything on how i feel and how everything is going but it would take forever. Alot of people on the boat are telling me this is just "cutterstress" and it happens to alot of guys. And if she is a real keeper and you love her don't loose her over insecurity and jealously. The only other thing i can do is make sure that she WANTS to move up here and its not me pressuring her at all.
So here is something for you to read ally. I want to be with you. I want you to be here. I want you to be happy. Thats all i want. I'm sorry I've been a mess up here. But like you said. You know how it feels. I'm not asking for your sympathy. I'm just hoping that I'm blowing this all out of order and that this is part of my depressed anixienty (sp chk?) that i've hit in the last month or so. I love you ally.
OK so asides from all of that for the rest of you...
I bought a 2004 F-150 FX4.
I moved to Portsmouth/Norfolk, VA.
I Live in a barracks room.
I'm waiting for Basic Allowance for Housing so ally can move in.
I'm getting a tat in May/June. (salvador dali- the ship.)
I'm in this state of depression.
I miss my family and best friends.
I miss florida.
I like being on a boat....
but rather be home more often.
I Will make E-4 (Petty Officer 3rd class soon Aug 22nd, 2008.)
While on patrol I went to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba., Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic. And back home a few times. Next patrol Im suppose to go to panama.
Interdicted 263 migrants during this patrol and found a felon with a warrant for homocide and that about it for me.