God I hate Me
Why the hell do my relationships always end like this what the fuck. I like her i really do but it doesnt seem like she wantsto even date me anymore. I mean i can tell the play has put alot of stress on her but at least show me some love.. i mean i go into the auditorium just to see her and she just does her own thing and then she straight up ignores me when i go to say bye sorry but thats fucked up..im in school right now and i feel like shit i dont like having this feeling of heartache it upsets me...a lot. plus im getting tired of work i dont feel very loved there. I know i am but i just dont get that feeling alot my students are being complete deuches no one fucking respects me in the academy it gets to me. damn i hate myself when i get like this hopefullyi just need some time to cool off making this entry has aleady made me feeel somewhat better im glad i was a complete wreck before this period garrett even asked me whats wrong and i was like you already know. cause everyone knows i even hear shes been talking to other people about our relationship problems which isnt too bad cause im doing the same thing i just hope me and her can work things out without having things come down to an all out scream fest kinda like what happened with lisa i couldnt bear another break up like that i gave my damn virginity and she fucked with my head thats some dark shit right there I know you guys who en up reading this think i complain too much and yoiu know what maybe i do but thats what itslike inside my head i dont get clear thoughts i get jumbled scambled sentences and mixed images and its just soo hard for me to make things out clearly i need help with solutions because im new to this dating thing i dont knwo what the hell to do i wish scott where an angel on my shoulder always there i need him soo bad right now if he could only be there for me in my exact time of need. not before not after but right whnen i need to make a descion. I know thats not his fault but i wish it could be like that at times..God im a mess right now please someone help me i need it. but by th time you read this i would have already made a descion (most likely the wrong one) well its time for me to go