(no subject)
tonight i really wanted to speak my mind. but i held back. there are so many things i'm leaving unsaid, but i figure at this point, whats the purpose? there was definitly a long period of awkward silence, but i was scared if i opened my mouth, all the things i should say would just come pouring it. it was neither the time nor the place. and now its summer, which is always a time of change for me. who knows what its gonna bring. i have a feeling its gonna be a roller coaster. no particular reason..just a hunch. usually my hunches are right. it sucked though..it sucks to be like that with a friend. i guess thats what happens when you spend so much time trying to cut them out then realize thats not what you actually wanted. i dont know.. if he wasn't so mean i might actually make an effort, but i figured out that hey, other people actually like me the way i am and dont spend their time with me constantly cutting me down. and honestly, i dont think he really cares about me. so i guess it all works out in the end. anyway, ive probably said too much. time for bed.