Like Sand through the Hour Glass....These are the days of our lives....

[jewelsavalon]

So right now, not quite sure what is going to be happening in my life. I can see the things that are happening to others and wish that they were sure of what they are doing. Am also worried, I am supposed to go to St. Louis to see a cards game with friends. But, one of the said friends has pretty much avoided all conversations with me. When said friend gets together with other friends (my two best friends) I feel like I might as well become invisible. I didn't really want to go, but was told that I would be upset if I missed such an outing. But the problem is, I don't think they realize that I see this going very badly. I am most likely not going to have a good time because I feel so disconnected from this person. I don't know I just really don't want to go but I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. That's pretty much the story of my life right now. My mom is being impossible with her condition. Apparently, she's had a life revelation and now is acting as if she never really wanted to be a mother. I feel like my life is pretty much sand falling through my hands right now and I have no way to keep it all together. Grrr.

But on a more positive note, classes have started again, and those always make me feel much more comfortable. I mean, it's the one place (not just in the class rooms, but even walking the campus) that I feel completely comfortable! So, it's great to talk and dream about my grad school ambitions because when I'm back in classes I realize that I can do it.

Got to see Chris Gardener today...you know the man from The Pursuit of Happyness. He was an amazing speaker, really admired his ability to not use possible weakness as an excuse. Also was a very funny guy.

Anyway, this was a really ADD influenced message.... Whatever.