Jan 12, 2006 12:44
This was in my email today and I thought it was just too funny... hope you enjoy.
In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with
animals, but the animals must be female. Having
sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by
death.
(Like THAT makes sense.)
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In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a
woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking
directly at them during the examination. He may only
see their reflection in a mirror.
(Do they look different reversed?)
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Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a
corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex
organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick
or piece of wood at all times.
A brick??)
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The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is
decapitation.
(Much worse than "going blind!")
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There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to
travel the countryside and deflower young virgins,
who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the
first time
Reason: under Guam law, it is
expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
(Let's just think for a minute; is there any job
anywhere else in the
world that even comes close to this?)
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In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to
kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with
her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the
other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
(Ah! Justice!)
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Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England -
but only in tropical fish stores.
(But of course!)
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In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with
her husband, and the first time this happens, her
mother must be in the room to witness the act.
(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
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In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to
have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same
time.
(I presume this was a big enough problem that they
had to pass this law?)
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In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from
vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics
may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in
places where alcoholic beverages are sold for
consumption on the premises."
(Is this a great country or what? Well . . . not as
great as Guam!)
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Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories
an hour.
(Who volunteers for this stuff?)
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Humans and dolphins are the only species that have
sex for pleasure.
(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
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The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull
30 times its own weight and always falls over on its
right side when intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of . ?)
(Did the government pay for this research??)
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Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Ah, geez.)
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An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
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Starfish don't have brains.
(I know some people like that, too.)
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And, the best for last
Turtles can breathe through their butts.
(And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)
humor