the pms punch
or peak, or valley, or whatever. i just feel at my lowest low tonight.
Daddy tried to give me a pep talk about using my gifts and talents (inclusive of my degree) for God, and it did help me to focus for awhile before i realised that most of my talents have to do with comforting or cheering people up or making things pretty, and have very little to do with a university degree or getting a good, high-profile, challenging job. not that i require one of those but every graduate seems expected to get one of those, and every other job seems to assume no graduates would apply to them. i feel either over- or under-qualified for anything i remotely want to do. and for jobs that i'm just nicely qualified for, i'm terrified of not delivering what they expect to get, which is a high-flying graduate with managerial and analytical skills beyond the average person. I DON'T HAVE THAT. what i have is a naive mind and a heart that is often too kind for its own good, and wouldn't last two seconds in the presence of efficient and/or unscrupulous people. i told Josh the other day that i felt i would have had more job openings if i hadn't had my degree, even though that's ungrateful and i apologised to God after saying it.
not that it wasn't a good pep talk. in fact, i think if i had had it at the start of my job search it would have done me a world of good. as it is, though, i'm thoroughly discouraged and disheartened now and any mention of work, efficiency, success or related topics is likely to be greeted with tears of frustration.
enough whining for now. i must endeavour to press on even if my feelings and hormones aren't up to the task. sleep cures all ills, tomorrow is a new day yadda yadda. bright points, girl, bright points.
bright point #1: thank You God for taking such good care of Randall and giving his group favour in the Theatre class, even though he only had 1.5hours of sleep. i know he still hasn't finished the project of that demanding teacher but i'm more reassured now and i know You are constantly with him, dear God.
bright point #2: am setting up a parody app within Facebook, which is at least giving me a little of a sense of achievement. update you when it's ready to launch :)
bright point #3: lame jokes. while walking home just now i overheard a bunch of teenagers laughing - they were all teasing one guy who kept going "but her surname isn't long what, it's just 4 letters!" and everybody else kept going "yah, but her surname is Long!!!" which amused me to no end, especially since the guy still seemed blur and didn't seem to get it :P
thank You, Lord, for these bright points.
Daddy tried to give me a pep talk about using my gifts and talents (inclusive of my degree) for God, and it did help me to focus for awhile before i realised that most of my talents have to do with comforting or cheering people up or making things pretty, and have very little to do with a university degree or getting a good, high-profile, challenging job. not that i require one of those but every graduate seems expected to get one of those, and every other job seems to assume no graduates would apply to them. i feel either over- or under-qualified for anything i remotely want to do. and for jobs that i'm just nicely qualified for, i'm terrified of not delivering what they expect to get, which is a high-flying graduate with managerial and analytical skills beyond the average person. I DON'T HAVE THAT. what i have is a naive mind and a heart that is often too kind for its own good, and wouldn't last two seconds in the presence of efficient and/or unscrupulous people. i told Josh the other day that i felt i would have had more job openings if i hadn't had my degree, even though that's ungrateful and i apologised to God after saying it.
not that it wasn't a good pep talk. in fact, i think if i had had it at the start of my job search it would have done me a world of good. as it is, though, i'm thoroughly discouraged and disheartened now and any mention of work, efficiency, success or related topics is likely to be greeted with tears of frustration.
enough whining for now. i must endeavour to press on even if my feelings and hormones aren't up to the task. sleep cures all ills, tomorrow is a new day yadda yadda. bright points, girl, bright points.
bright point #1: thank You God for taking such good care of Randall and giving his group favour in the Theatre class, even though he only had 1.5hours of sleep. i know he still hasn't finished the project of that demanding teacher but i'm more reassured now and i know You are constantly with him, dear God.
bright point #2: am setting up a parody app within Facebook, which is at least giving me a little of a sense of achievement. update you when it's ready to launch :)
bright point #3: lame jokes. while walking home just now i overheard a bunch of teenagers laughing - they were all teasing one guy who kept going "but her surname isn't long what, it's just 4 letters!" and everybody else kept going "yah, but her surname is Long!!!" which amused me to no end, especially since the guy still seemed blur and didn't seem to get it :P
thank You, Lord, for these bright points.