How Can I Know That?
It's been a very long few days, hasn't it? My exhaustion has reached new levels, although I've also become (albeit strangely) calmer with Christmas coming at last. I'm already appreciative of the winter break from school, since I won't have to be back in that hole until it's 2007. This year has been my biggest yet. How did I ever determine that? It's all because I've known you. I'm finally knowing myself. The struggle is in the liking it.
Winter usually makes me come alive, and I suppose it's doing just that. Even though I'm completely conflicted in every aspect of - well, let's face it - just about everything, I think it's all going to shake itself out. I kiss inappropriate boys, I'm curious about the wrong men, and I've been wearing the same nail polish for a week. I think it's time to blow the dust off of my brain. Why's it been hiding for so long? I could have used it before now.
My mother asked me how I came to be friends with Jess again. I said, "She gave up, I gave in." It's as simple as it was easy. I was a robot of convenience and a victim of time. I told her that I wouldn't trust her, but I could appreciate her. She told me that she was sorry and that she was not a mind reader. Thank you, and no shit. I could have said something about how reading my mind is like watching a car crash, but I didn't. I didn't need to upset her past recognition. If it is to be believed, I have a friend. I don't quite believe it, so I suppose it doesn't quite exist. It's all fake, every last bit that drips with disdain. I told her so. I am many things, but I am no liar.
I took an intense chemistry test that lasted for an hour and a half on Thursday. I was sure that I was on the verge of failing yet another exam in that class. To my complete and utter shock, I got an 88. I was absolutely floored when my teacher told me. On my way out of the room, I said nothing but, "It's a Christmas miracle, if ever I've seen one."
However, math is not miraculous. No, not even close. I didn't even bother going to class yesterday. Instead, I went to Liz's fashion class. Come on, failing grades are something for after vacation. Or, if possible, never.
After school, Kat came over to help finish decorating my tree. We're kind of delayed this year. Not late, but delayed. And yes, of course we took pictures.
Kat's modeling the Xiu Xiu shirt I gave her for Christmas. The glasses are somewhat inexplicable.
Excuse her; she likes to play God sometimes.
I don't know how we managed a normal picture.
I hung Simba. I mean, someone had to.
We're purely decorative.
I'm a beast.
The first gift of the season, brought to you by Finlandia.
She gave me the best Tarina Tarantino ring in the entire world. This is it:
It's huge and I adore it. It also came with a bright yellow plastic bangle. Will wonders never cease? She also gave me quite a few Hello Kitty pens and scented markers. It was rather magical.
Then I went to Liz's house and proceeded to get trashed and strip. I'm sort of joking. It was drama-free and fantastic. I remember something about a trampoline in the rain, and stealing beer from the neighbors. And I don't even drink beer. As much as I generally dislike teenage girls, I have found goodness in the select few locals. It's too rare to discount.
Liz gave me this:
There should always be a little bit of Jesus in Christmas, right? I'm doing my part for the modern Jews.
I think my band's new name is Contemporary Contact. I like it a lot. Tactical Strike Force just has too much going on.
Erin, I owe you a present. Nothing had stuck in my mind, but something finally did. Sorry it'll be overdue, but hopefully it will be worth it's weight in time.
I hope you all have amazing holidays. As screwed as things can appear and/or be, this season should immerse itself in hope. If nothing else, there is the idea. We are always searching.
Winter usually makes me come alive, and I suppose it's doing just that. Even though I'm completely conflicted in every aspect of - well, let's face it - just about everything, I think it's all going to shake itself out. I kiss inappropriate boys, I'm curious about the wrong men, and I've been wearing the same nail polish for a week. I think it's time to blow the dust off of my brain. Why's it been hiding for so long? I could have used it before now.
My mother asked me how I came to be friends with Jess again. I said, "She gave up, I gave in." It's as simple as it was easy. I was a robot of convenience and a victim of time. I told her that I wouldn't trust her, but I could appreciate her. She told me that she was sorry and that she was not a mind reader. Thank you, and no shit. I could have said something about how reading my mind is like watching a car crash, but I didn't. I didn't need to upset her past recognition. If it is to be believed, I have a friend. I don't quite believe it, so I suppose it doesn't quite exist. It's all fake, every last bit that drips with disdain. I told her so. I am many things, but I am no liar.
I took an intense chemistry test that lasted for an hour and a half on Thursday. I was sure that I was on the verge of failing yet another exam in that class. To my complete and utter shock, I got an 88. I was absolutely floored when my teacher told me. On my way out of the room, I said nothing but, "It's a Christmas miracle, if ever I've seen one."
However, math is not miraculous. No, not even close. I didn't even bother going to class yesterday. Instead, I went to Liz's fashion class. Come on, failing grades are something for after vacation. Or, if possible, never.
After school, Kat came over to help finish decorating my tree. We're kind of delayed this year. Not late, but delayed. And yes, of course we took pictures.
Kat's modeling the Xiu Xiu shirt I gave her for Christmas. The glasses are somewhat inexplicable.
Excuse her; she likes to play God sometimes.
I don't know how we managed a normal picture.
I hung Simba. I mean, someone had to.
We're purely decorative.
I'm a beast.
The first gift of the season, brought to you by Finlandia.
She gave me the best Tarina Tarantino ring in the entire world. This is it:
It's huge and I adore it. It also came with a bright yellow plastic bangle. Will wonders never cease? She also gave me quite a few Hello Kitty pens and scented markers. It was rather magical.
Then I went to Liz's house and proceeded to get trashed and strip. I'm sort of joking. It was drama-free and fantastic. I remember something about a trampoline in the rain, and stealing beer from the neighbors. And I don't even drink beer. As much as I generally dislike teenage girls, I have found goodness in the select few locals. It's too rare to discount.
Liz gave me this:
There should always be a little bit of Jesus in Christmas, right? I'm doing my part for the modern Jews.
I think my band's new name is Contemporary Contact. I like it a lot. Tactical Strike Force just has too much going on.
Erin, I owe you a present. Nothing had stuck in my mind, but something finally did. Sorry it'll be overdue, but hopefully it will be worth it's weight in time.
I hope you all have amazing holidays. As screwed as things can appear and/or be, this season should immerse itself in hope. If nothing else, there is the idea. We are always searching.