hello. SO I feel like I've been not the nicest creature in your life this week and I want to apologize for coming across so strongly. It's just I don't know how to explain it in the best of ways, but I feel like it's come to the point again that you don't want any of us around. I understand it's probably again because you feel we don't want you there or don't try to be involved and such but my agruement will never change on that point. I thought of an example that may clear things up a bit, either that or it will not make any difference at all but oh well here goes. You know our original group [you moi Leah Shaylea Lindzey].. Well of all those people I've been friends with Lindzey the longest [3rd grade] ANYways, what I'm getting at is the fact that I consider Lindzey among my best friends. We NEVER hang out one on one and NEVER really call each other. That may make it seem like we aren't all the close but really that isn't how I see it and it has had no affect on how much I like her or think of her as a friend. I hope Lindzey and I are always friends. The same goes with you, recently a lot of stuff has gone down, and way back before spring break [I mean way back, like after mid-winter break in Feb.] I just haven't wished to be around people like I was and yeah lost touch with pretty much everyone, it may not seem like it but it's true. I'm sorry if you feel as if I haven't been there but THE ONLY thing that has changed is ME putting myself out there and trying to be around people [yourself included]. If you ever needed to talk I would have been there in a heartbeat if you would have called me up or even acted like you needed it whenever I were around, I would have loved to come and seen you or whatever you wanted. That never happened. You called me one time just before spring break and that was honestly it. I just have never REALLY felt like you've cared if I've been around or not so since I haven't really had the urge to be around many people I figure it hasn't mattered as much as it suddenly has seemed to again. I want to make sure you don't think I'm trying to blame you at all because I don't think things like this have any one party fault, but I'm explaining my sort of anti-socialness that's come over me for no specific reasons. I miss you Julia and I hope something can work out between how you feel towards us and something can improve. Between work, school, and my weird attitude I just haven't managed to be that great of a friend to anyone really. I apologize sincerely for that and most of all how it's affected you. I'm sorry, I love you.
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