(no subject)
The day started off like it was gunna be awesome. I got a letter from Miles and it made me cry. I miss that little fucker. But I was so happy to hear from him, still the same old Miles. I don't really know what I was expecting, that training wold change him somehow. It's good to know he's still him.
Well after I read the letter I went upstairs to put it on the counter. Mom was in the kitchen. As I walked out of the kitchen I hear "Did you sleep with Him?"
...
So mom and I talked for about an hour. I told her everything. How I had sex with Him, how the condom broke, how no one would give me the pill, how i went broke trying to pay for urgent care who finally gave me a perscription, how all my friends left me...She wasn't mad, she was dissapointed that it wasn't special for me. We both cried. She was alot more calm about it than I thought she would be. Then it got deeper. She wanted to know more. So we got into the ciggarettes. Then we got into the alcohol. Then we got into the pot. I told her everything. And I'm still not in trouble. MY MOTHER. For those who know her...you can pick yourself up off the floor. I know. I was in shock too.
So with all my secrets revealed, with all my reasons for being depressed demolished...you'd think i'd feel better right? Wrong. I feel...disgusted with myself. I feel like I'm not a little girl anymore. Technically I'm not. I'm growing up, I know. But I always felt like I could still come home and be taken care of by my parents. Now I feel like...I'm alone. They know what I do, and they think that their little baby is a different woman now. I'm kinda freaking out a little. I don't really know what to do with myself.