random thoughts...
Hey, this isnt really meant to be an update... just some random thoughts going on in my head that i felt i needed to get out. So you dont really have to read it if u dont want to.
I havent spoken to steph in weeks, her little "boyfriend" guy kept picking (verbal) fights with me, making fun of me, rubbing the fact that steph picked him over me, and stupid childish shit like that. And everytime i tried to defend myself or stand up for what I believed in he ran and told steph or showed her parts of the convo, or talked more shit behind my back that made me look like the bad guy and crazy. And she always defended him without listening to the whole story... and that also pissed me off. Am I really the type of guy who would randomly pick a fight with someone for no reason? So whatever, she claimed she'd always be there for me and still be my friend, but i guess that was just another lie. At least shes finally happy. Maybe one day she'll come to her senses and remember about me and how im not really this person that im being made out to be. I've had reasons for everything ive done... reasons that she just didnt want to hear. Call me crazy, but even after all the shit shes done to me, i still want to be her friend at least.
I have also come to the conclusion that i am cursed. Girls just dont fall for me. I dunno what it is about me.... but girls dont dig it. They always "just wanna be friends". And when girls that are few and far between actually do fall for me.... they end up being crazy or they stab me in the back after a few months. Im sick of hearing "oh, be patient... you're a great guy, any girl would be lucky to have you". BULLSHIT. Its been 22 years and the same shit happens to me time after time after time. I try to be confident and optimistic, but wtf is the point? The thing i want more in life than anything at all is to fall in love with a girl who is equally as in love with me and finally be happy. Is that so hard to ask? Im a nice, funny, caring guy... why dont girls like me? It gets me thinking that im just not attractive enough or something like that (to which people also tell me its untrue). So according to people... if im both cute and a great guy.... THEN WHAT THE HELL IS THE PROBLEM?!?! I just need to come to terms that im not meant to be happy and im not meant to have a girlfriend :-\
More to come... but i gotta go to work
P.S. I know people might comment and try to disprove what i say. But honestly? Actions speak louder than words my friends
I havent spoken to steph in weeks, her little "boyfriend" guy kept picking (verbal) fights with me, making fun of me, rubbing the fact that steph picked him over me, and stupid childish shit like that. And everytime i tried to defend myself or stand up for what I believed in he ran and told steph or showed her parts of the convo, or talked more shit behind my back that made me look like the bad guy and crazy. And she always defended him without listening to the whole story... and that also pissed me off. Am I really the type of guy who would randomly pick a fight with someone for no reason? So whatever, she claimed she'd always be there for me and still be my friend, but i guess that was just another lie. At least shes finally happy. Maybe one day she'll come to her senses and remember about me and how im not really this person that im being made out to be. I've had reasons for everything ive done... reasons that she just didnt want to hear. Call me crazy, but even after all the shit shes done to me, i still want to be her friend at least.
I have also come to the conclusion that i am cursed. Girls just dont fall for me. I dunno what it is about me.... but girls dont dig it. They always "just wanna be friends". And when girls that are few and far between actually do fall for me.... they end up being crazy or they stab me in the back after a few months. Im sick of hearing "oh, be patient... you're a great guy, any girl would be lucky to have you". BULLSHIT. Its been 22 years and the same shit happens to me time after time after time. I try to be confident and optimistic, but wtf is the point? The thing i want more in life than anything at all is to fall in love with a girl who is equally as in love with me and finally be happy. Is that so hard to ask? Im a nice, funny, caring guy... why dont girls like me? It gets me thinking that im just not attractive enough or something like that (to which people also tell me its untrue). So according to people... if im both cute and a great guy.... THEN WHAT THE HELL IS THE PROBLEM?!?! I just need to come to terms that im not meant to be happy and im not meant to have a girlfriend :-\
More to come... but i gotta go to work
P.S. I know people might comment and try to disprove what i say. But honestly? Actions speak louder than words my friends